King and Lionheart
by bringonthew0nder
Summary: Thousands of years after Arthur's death, Merlin is still in mourning. He lives as an old warlock in the 21st century, antisocial and lonely. When he visits the Lady of the Lake, Freya, he finds that Arthur's second rising is coming sooner than he thinks... Probably going to have a good amount of Merthur fluff, some slash, no smut. Lots of bromance and a pinch of romance.
1. Chapter 1

_Taking over this town, they should worry,_

_But these problems aside I think I taught you well._

_That we won't run,_

_And we won't run,_

_And we won't run._

An elderly man standing in the back of a bookstore with a pair of ear buds in his wrinkled ears listened to the soothing tune that had recently been released. He could almost swear it was made just for him.

_And in the winter night sky ships are sailing,_

_Looking down on these bright blue city lights._

_And they won't wait, and they won't wait, and they won't wait._

_We're here to stay, we're here to stay, we're here to stay._

That was certainly true for him. He had stayed on Earth long enough for hundreds of generations. He had lived far too long. And it made it all worse that he had to live alone, without his friends, who had died years and years back. He was all alone.

Well that wasn't necessarily true. Aithusa was still around, although getting very old, and Freya was eternal, living in Avalon as the Lady of the Lake. But Aithusa didn't want to be around him, seeing as his affiliation had been with Morgana, who hated the man. Aithusa, by default it would seem, was intensely uncomfortable around him, torn between his loyalty to the last Dragon Lord and his Lady Morgana. And Freya...well, Freya was always there for him, but the times together were short because she had to keep watch over Arthur's dormant spirit to make sure no harm came to it before he rose again. They were still waiting.

_Howling ghosts they reappear_

_In mountains that are stacked with fear_

_But you're a king and I'm a lionheart._

_A lionheart._

The old wizard sighed. A lionheart. Was he that lionheart? Arthur may have said so, but may have followed it up with 'But a stupid one'. The thought amused him, but also saddened him. Thinking about Arthur was always painful. It was hard to believe that a man he had known for maybe ten years would affect him for the rest of his life, many hundreds of years longer than that.

_His crown lit up the way as we moved slowly_

_Pass the wondering eyes of the ones that were left behind._

_Though far away, though far away, though far away_

_We're still the same, we're still the same, we're still the same._

That was true once. Arthur and Merlin, always together, inseparable teammates. But now it was different. Arthur was dead. Merlin had changed. He was no longer the charming young man that had earned him so many loyal friends, but rather a feisty old man who had the appearance of a hobo. The only thing that remained unchanged was his ability to do magic. This thought stung him as well. He remembered a moment with Arthur on the last night before he died. It stung, but it refused to leave him:

_"Merlin, whatever happens-"_

_"Shh, don't talk."_

_"I'm the king, Merlin, you can't tell me what to do."_

_"I always have, I'm not going to change now."_

_"I don't want you to change. I want you to always be you."_

Merlin strode out of the bookstore quickly. This memory hurt. It hurt a lot. Because he had changed, the one thing Arthur had told him not to do. He had changed because of Arthur, which just made it more disgraceful. Merlin was sick with himself and the way he had changed since Arthur's death, but there was nothing he could do about it now. Everyone thought he was crazy. He was too deep in self-loathing to start caring for himself again. He blamed himself for what had happened and the consequences that followed. Camelot fell not too long after Guinevere finally passed away at an old age and Merlin could do nothing about it. Everything he loved was just out of reach.

Camelot was no longer a kingdom, but a shell, a husk of a castle that had once been glorious. Arthur was dead, but his spirit was waiting to rise, but it had been dormant for hundreds of years and Merlin was beginning to lose hope that he would ever come back. Freya could only be with him in short blips. Aithusa was unreachable and unable to help him cope. He could always visit Gaius and the knights at Stonehenge, as it was now called, but he didn't have the heart to go there and besides, he did not possess the horn to summon them. He also did not want to risk any free spirits, for good or evil. Arthur did not dwell there because his soul was almost...pending. Not yet ready for the next world. Just dormant. But Merlin had no magic to bring him back whenever he wanted to. It was up to his destiny to decide.

Merlin walked all the way to Avalon, just wandering as he always did. He dove into the water there and commanded the Shi to take him to the island in the middle. No one bothered him there. Freya seemed to sense his presence and Merlin could sense she was excited. What about? His heart raced when he pondered what she could have to tell him. He summoned her at the island and her image appeared in the water immediately.

"Merlin!" she cried out. Upon seeing his sorry appearance, she commented anxiously, "You need to take better care of yourself. Have you completely neglected your health?" He huffed in response, his rasping voice replying,

"I just don't care about myself anymore, Freya. I'm just waiting. How's Arthur?" She looked at him and replied tersely,

"He's fine. Still dormant as far as I can tell. Before I tell you anything, I want you to know that you are still important and needed, okay? Everyone matters, you said so yourself. Why don't you make friends or something? You've changed too much since he left." Merlin flushed red into his wrinkles and replied a bit annoyed,

"I'm not here about me, Freya! Now what is it you wanted to tell me?" She glared at him and crossed her arms.

"There's no need to be so sharp with me, Emrys. I need not tell you anything until you promise to take better care of yourself, my god, you're wasting away." Merlin rolled his eyes. She only called him Emrys when she was mad at him.

"I'm sorry. Now what is it?"

"Promise."

"Freya!"

"Promise!" Merlin sighed loudly.

"Fine! I promise I'll try to look like a normal old man rather than a mental one, alright? Now tell me!" She smirked at him and chortled,

"Okay. I've found out something about you, Merlin. I spoke with a...reliable source...and she informed me that you won't stop living in this world until you meet Arthur a second time and completely believe in yourself and actually live your life to the full potential. You need to get yourself out of the Dark Ages and into the light. Since Kilgarra told you that he would return, you have only accepted his death as a temporary good-bye and refused to care for yourself until he returned, apparently. You-"

"Of course! I was terribly upset about it! He was my best friend and he died before his time! Freya, do you have any idea what that's like? How my life is like right now? The years in which I knew Arthur and Gaius and Gwaine and all of them were the best I'd ever had and then suddenly POOF, they all started getting knocked off one by one! Gwaine, I found out, was killed by Morgana after she tortured him for information! Gaius was very old by the time Arthur died and he passed on a year after that! And ever since, my friends and the only people I wanted to know were gone. I think Gwen was the last one to go, that tough old bird, but after that, there wasn't anything for me to do anymore because Camelot was falling and there was nothing I could do to stop it! After that, I've had to live for centuries with only those years to comfort me in my long miserable existence on this rock. I only have you and Aithusa and the knowledge that my best friend may come back from the dead to save Albion, but Albion doesn't need saving! It hasn't since he died!" Merlin kicked the dirt moodily, the twinge in his old bones causing him to wince from the pain that jolted through his leg. He looked at Freya, expecting her to have disappeared or be furious, but instead he just saw deep sorrow there.

"You forget, Merlin, that I am dead and still go on living for all eternity in this lake. When you die, your spirit will still be active, but you will be free to do as you wish, while I have no choice. You are free to do as you wish now, but instead you mope and moan about your miserable existence when in fact it is you who makes it that way," her voice went up an octave and she started to flush a bit from frustration or annoyance or anger, Merlin couldn't tell which. "You never accepted Arthur's death and brought this upon yourself. I'm sorry he died in your arms, Merlin, really I am, but you need to move on! I have no idea when or if, at this point, he'll return, and the moment his spirit is awake, I will notify you, you can be sure. Get over, yourself, Emrys, because I'm sure this attitude of yours is partly why he hasn't come back. Because he doesn't want to!" She was breathing heavily now from working herself up and her arms were crossed over her chest. She glared at Merlin and he glared back at her.

"How dare you...how dare you even suggest that he doesn't...that it's my fault that he...why I ought to…" he stammered furiously, waving his hands in what was supposed to be a threatening manner.

"Oh please," she snorted, "I'm the Lady of the bloody Lake, always have been, always will be. Calm yourself." Merlin closed his eyes, putting his hands down at his thighs and breathed deeply, trying to forget what she had said. But he couldn't. Was his existence purposeful? Thinking back, he had, in fact, saved the lives of many even after Camelot fell, by banishing bandits or setting the offenders on fire, or the like. He had turned the tide of quite a few important battles that made the world today what it was. Or at least, what made Great Britain what it was. Was it possible that he was still needed here?

"I'm sorry, Freya," he apologized finally, his fists still clenched by his sides, "I'll make a better effort now, I suppose. I'll try at least. Tell Arthur…well I don't even know if he can hear you, but just in case, tell him I'm sorry...for changing. He never wanted me to do this to myself and here I am, having gone out of my way to feel bad for myself." Freya nodded and her expression suddenly turned worried.

"I should go. I've been away from him far too long. I don't want the Shi getting at him." Merlin shooed her away, more concerned about Arthur's spirit's safety than his own and made his way back to the mainland. He wanted nothing more than to sulk in the bookstore again or watch the city from the top of a tall building, but he had promised Freya he'd try to make his way back into normal life again.

((()))

Surprisingly enough, Merlin did in fact own a house. It appeared to be small and humble on the outside, but he had placed a spell on it long ago so that it was bigger on the inside. It greatly resembled his old residence with Gaius, and was in fact, full of herbs and spices and potions that could help others, should they ever need it. Unfortunately, due to the newer medicines and such, Merlin was not required as a physician anymore, and it was rare that anyone needed his superior medicinal skills. Almost nobody knew he even was a physician and those who did also held the opinion that he was senile and not to be trusted, when in fact, the opposite was true. He could heal anyone better than even the medicine today could, and yet no one sought his help. But he kept inventory anyway, trying to come up with new cures every day. It was a way to keep himself busy.

Merlin eyed the bathtub in the corner of the room, reminiscing over the time that Arthur killed a unicorn, releasing a curse on the entire city, and he and Gaius were forced to drink Merlin's bathwater. It wasn't pleasant, but it was preferable to this. He hadn't used the tub in quite some time. Sighing to himself, he figured the first step in coming back into the real world was to clean himself up a bit. He quickly filled the metal tub with warm water and washed himself with his own soap.

It was rare that he bought anything in terms of hygiene from the shops since he knew full-well how to make his own. However, despite the rustic home he possessed, Merlin did own a great deal of new world items. He found the kitchen supplies much faster than his own soap and water in terms of cleaning up his kitchen and the food in the farmer's markets was fresh and bountiful and allowed Merlin to recreate some old dishes from when he'd lived with Gaius. He did not have a television, nor a computer or a cellphone, but he had some more comfortable modern furniture and a radio. He also had many, many books, old and new. He read constantly, once he had finished the Arthurian legends to comfort him, and read many stories based off of his own. Sometimes the parallels or similarities made him smile. These stories were called fiction, but he knew there was some truth in them.

After his bath, Merlin quickly threw his dirty clothing into the appropriate machine, which was faster and made his clothes smell better than hand washing them, and went about doing little things that would make him look more approachable. He trimmed his nails so they weren't so much claws, and brushed his teeth several times, taking extra care to take some TicTacs, and was tempted to cut his beard, but stopped suddenly. Did he want it gone? No, he didn't. But something had to be done about it, it was just too long. He settled on cutting his hair to an appropriate length and then just trimming his beard to give it a cleaner shape and going through it to see what had, over the years, gotten stuck in it. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he nearly didn't recognize himself.

Merlin's skin was now two or three shades lighter from cleaning the dirt off and his beard looked more silvery than dirty grey. He still had age spots, but that was not his concern. His teeth were much cleaner than usual, his fingernails presentable, and his face looked softer overall. He looked more kindly than aggressive now. Merlin thumbed through his drawers to look for something better to wear than his previous outfit. He found his old long red robe and chuckled to himself. That might be fun to wear. Shaking his head, he grabbed an old pair of jeans that still fit him and pulled on a button-up red shirt that was not the most fashionable thing, but it kept him happy and comfortable. There. That was better.

He kept his cleaner appearance up for a few weeks and started to indulge himself more, buying sweets like he used to and began to make conversation again. He was integrating himself back into the world. Overall, he found this made him happier, even if some people still thought he was a crazy old man. One day towards the end of September, with golden and red leaves falling to the ground, Merlin rested himself on a bench in a park near Avalon. He jumped when he suddenly heard Freya's voice in his head.

_Merlin,_ she whispered urgently, _Merlin, come quick_. He looked around as if expecting to see her there before realizing she was speaking in his mind.

_What is it, Freya? What's wrong? Is it Arthur?_ , he replied anxiously.

_Yes, you need to come over here right now,_ she called.

_On my way._

_Merlin, NOW!_

_I'm coming, I'm coming!_ Her tone terrified Merlin, as she sounded very scared or nervous. He made his way to a bus which dropped him off at Avalon and he whispered an incantation that would carry him across the lake. He stood in the center, summoning Freya quickly. It had taken him twenty minutes to arrive.

"Freya, what is it? Is he okay?" he asked frantically when she appeared.

"I don't know, Merlin, I don't know!" she cried, "His spirit is no longer dormant, but he doesn't appear to be becoming active again either. I don't know what's going on!" Swallowing his fear he requested,

"Show me." She shuddered before bringing up an image of what appeared to be a glass orb with a blue and silvery creature inside. Normally it would sit at the bottom, not moving, but now it was bouncing against the glass violently. He had seen spirits rise before and this was not how they were supposed to do it. Merlin swallowed the panic rising in his throat again and tried to address Freya calmly.

"Freya, what do you think is happening?" Her eyes were wide as she replied,

"I know a lot, you know that, but I've never seen anything like it before." He closed his eyes, searching his memories for an answer, and did not find one.

"Okay. Okay. It's going to be alright. I'll stay here until something changes for the better, alright?" She nodded before darting away to try and soothe the spirit. Without him purposefully causing it, hot tears rose to Merlin's eyes. He could not lose Arthur, not for good and not again. When he opened his eyes again, he suddenly saw a familiar figure.

"Gwaine? What the…how are you...how can you be here?" Gwaine looked a bit confused. He was just an image, like Freya, but instead of being I the water, he was standing in front of Merlin.

"Merlin! I ah, I'm not actually sure. But while I'm here, how you been, Merlin?" Merlin didn't question how Gwaine knew who it was, being a spirit of the dead had its benefits, like recognizing people from their previous life, regardless of form. Merlin also ignored the question about himself.

"No offense, Gwaine, but you're...dead."

"Really? Hadn't noticed," Gwaine started to reply sarcastically before an expression came over his face of concentration. His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at something Merlin couldn't see before he continued, "Oh, right. I think someone, not sure who, uh, sent me here. For a message. For you. They said to tell you not to fear what is happening to Arthur's spirit, but what happens now is forever shall be. Something about the second rising of Arthur Pendragon. I know it was good news though, for you. So it must mean that Arthur's coming back." He looked thoughtful for a minute. "That'd be nice, to come back. What...what century is this?"

Merlin was speechless for a minute before clearing his throat and replying, "Uh, twenty-first."

"But how are you still here? You shoulda been dead like the rest of us by now. I was looking for your spirit, you know, and I never could find it and here I am talking to you about a serious matter like we're just having a drink in the tavern." Merlin was confused for a second. How could Gwaine not know? Then he remembered that Gwaine had died before he saw Merlin again after the war.

"I, um, have magic. And I think I'm the most powerful sorcerer in the world or something. Um. You missed the announcement." Merlin was still awestruck by Gwaine's sudden and random appearance.

"Must have. But a sorcerer? Merlin, that's like...illegal. You could be killed for that!" Merlin shrugged.

"Not anymore. We're not in Camelot, Gwaine, we're in the twenty-first century. There are no rules against magic because no one believes it exists anymore. I-"

"Well that's stupid, of course it exists," his eyes narrowed for a minute, "But if you're a sorcerer that means…."

"Gwaine, I had to go over this with Arthur, I've only ever used my magic for good, okay? Can we please drop this and get back to what you were here to tell me?"

"You told Arthur and not me?"

"He was dying!"

"So was I, but I never heard anything about it."

"Gwaine!"

"What?" Merlin sighed and looked back up at his old friend, allowing a wide grin to spread over his face.

"It's good to see you, mate." He put a hand out for Gwaine to take, but Gwaine shook his head almost sadly.

"Just an image, Merlin. I truly am really happy to see you too, though." A familiar cheeky grin spread over Gwaine's face, right before another look of concentration came over his face again.

"I've got to go, Merlin. They're taking me back into the other world." Merlin shook his head.

"I don't want you to go!" he said childishly. Gwaine's image began to shimmer.

"We'll meet again, old friend. For now, just know that Arthur is coming back soon. Don't pity me or your late friends, we're having quite a party back here. Make the most of your existence in this world, though, Merlin, you'll miss it when it's gone!" With that, Gwaine disappeared and Merlin's heart tugged. He hadn't seen anyone besides Freya from the old times in ages. Gwaine was a good friend of his and it had made him ecstatic to see him, but sad to see him go.

He sat down on the lakeside, waiting for Freya to give an update, settling the tips of his shoes in the cool water. Merlin pulled his knees up to his chest, putting his head down and his hands locked around his shins. He heard nothing from Freya, but suddenly her mood changed to happiness and excitement. He ignored it. Probably a false alarm anyway.

He stayed in this position for a while, not hearing the displacement of water behind him and wet feet hitting the ground with a light slapping noise. A warm hand rested on his shoulder as a familiar voice behind him asked tentatively,

"Merlin?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry about the mix-up guys, somehow I posted Ch 1 twice. Firstly, I do not own Merlin and I only own the story I've written about him and his friends. I hope you like this chapter, sorry for the length. Thanks for all the support and I love reviews so if you get a chance please write one. As a side note, if you're going to criticize, at least be polite about it. Thank you! :)**

As he had been playing this voice in his head for so long, Merlin recognized the voice instantly. He sprang up, ignoring the protest in his limbs and exclaimed loudly, his voice going up an octave,

"Arthur?!" The tall blond man eyed him warily.

"You're not Merlin," he said tentatively. Merlin frowned as he continued, "You're that old crone who killed my father." Merlin shook his head and replied,

"No, I am Merlin. Look, I can prove it to you! Uh…" He turned around, looking for something to help him. In doing so he tripped over his own feet and landed flat on his face.

"Okay, that's helping your case," Arthur said seriously, but still looked wary. "What were the last words I spoke to you?" Having committed them to memory, Merlin promptly replied,

"Thank you." Arthur looked suspiciously at him for a minute before locking gazes with him. Something in his eyes must have tipped him off because soon a wide grin came over his face, his eyes shining with happiness as he pulled the old man into a tight hug. At first Merlin was surprised before he wrapped his arms around Arthur's back and hugged him back too. He breathed in the familiar scent of Arthur which mingled slightly with the lake water and resisted the urge to nuzzle his head into Arthur's shoulder. When they finally let go of each other, tears were shining in Merlin's eyes and he impatiently wiped them away.

"I'm not supposed to hug my servants, Merlin, count yourself lucky," Arthur teased. The grin on Merlin's face slowly disappeared. "Merlin, I was joking, calm down," he told him worriedly.

"It's not that, I'm not worried about that," Merlin said slowly, waving him down, "It's just...you're not...a king. Anymore." Arthur looked incredibly confused.

"I'm alive, aren't I?" Merlin made a hiss of impatience.

"Aren't you wondering why I look two hundred years old? I didn't do this to myself, it's because you've literally been dead for a few thousand years," he told him, and softened his voice as he added, "They're all gone. Gaius, Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Gwen...everyone we ever knew. Except for me, except for you, and except for Freya. Camelot is gone, Arthur." It didn't seem to hit Arthur for another minute as he glanced around where they were. He caught sight of the buildings on the other side of the lake and a bus drove by on a road carrying laughing people. He stayed silent for a few minutes before turning back to Merlin, his expression frightened and confused.

"But how...but how...they can't be...gone. Guinevere and my knights and Camelot...they were everything to me. No offense, Merlin," Arthur added. Merlin sighed,

"None taken." Arthur sat down slowly before looking back up at Merlin. There were tears in both of their eyes now.

"Who's Freya? Is she someone I know?" he asked, as if trying to grasp reality. Merlin cleared his throat awkwardly before sitting down next to Arthur and adding,

"Uh, not really. She was the Bastet girl I helped escape." Arthur glanced at him, incredulous.

"That was you?" But then he looked peaceful again, "Figures. Most of the weird stuff that happened was probably you, yeah?" Merlin nodded. He then went on to ask Arthur,

"If me looking like I'm two thousand years old is less comforting to you than me looking about nineteen, then I can change my appearance, you know." Arthur's defiant gaze went to his and Arthur answered,

"You're my friend no matter what, Merlin." Merlin's heart fluttered slightly, but he silenced it and told him,

"But if you want, if it makes you more comfortable…"

"Do what you want, either way it doesn't matter." Merlin knew this wasn't true because Arthur did look a tad distrustful of him looking this way because the Merlin he knew was nineteen years old.

Merlin stood for a minute before walking to the sole structure in the middle of Avalon. He took a small vial of the water before shouting incantations at it that made it turn baby blue. Then he swallowed the potion, feeling the familiar sensation of cold fire running through him. It wasn't painful so much as uncomfortable. He felt Arthur's curious gaze on him as he watched his own hands soften and become a more youthful pink color. His beard was receding and his hair growing back lush and brown. His features were lifting and smoothing and his hunched back becoming straight again. When the change was complete, he smiled at Arthur.

"Good?" he asked. Arthur looked a lot more comfortable and happier now.

"Good," he nodded. Merlin went back to sit next to Arthur again. Arthur looked happier but still shell-shocked. He turned to Merlin asking,

"Do you mind if I just-" He motioned leaning into Merlin.

"Whatever you need, Arthur," he answered without hesitation. Arthur leaned his shoulder against Merlin's, resting his head on top of it. Merlin's heart fluttered again, but for the second time that day, Merlin willed it not to. This was not the time or place to be letting Arthur know about his own stupid feelings. They would pass soon enough, he hoped. Automatically, Merlin tentatively rested his head on top of Arthur's, finding comfort in the fact that he was physically there and alive and with him.

"So what do we do now?" Arthur asked his friend after a while of sitting in that position.

"Not sure...I could show you around I guess. If you're going to be living here, you might as well know your way around. We might as well get used to it," he suggested wisely. Arthur nodded, but didn't move.

"I'm sorry," Arthur said quietly. Merlin looked at him, confused.

"What for?"

"You lived alone for years, you said. More than enough lifetimes for one man. That must have been hard and here I was, sleeping away in the lake."

"Arthur, you were dead."

"I know, but I wasn't aware that I was still existent for the years that passed. You were, every second. You must have been." He stopped leaning on Merlin and looked at him curiously.

"Yeah. I was. But it was okay, I guess."

"Really?"

"No," Merlin paused before continuing, "I'm sorry, too."

"What could you have to be sorry for?"

"That you died. That I couldn't save you." Merlin said these things without looking at Arthur, but then he looked up with his last apology, "That I changed." Arthur tilted his head to the side slightly as if asking what he meant. "You said...I remember you told me that you always wanted me to be me and that I should never change. But I did." A tear dripped down his face as he repeated, "I did change. I became antisocial and lonely and grumpy and I hated myself. I still do." A lump rose in his throat when he confessed this and he stopped looking at Arthur.

Arthur's expression turned to one of sympathy and concern and his eyebrows rose in slight surprise. "Oh Merlin…" he said quietly. He wasn't quite sure how to comfort his friend and put a light hand on Merlin's chin, raising it up to look at him. Merlin's heart was pounding, not sure what he was expecting to happen. He avoided Arthur's gaze.

"Merlin. Look at me," Arthur commanded, "That's an order." Merlin resisted the urge to remind him that he didn't have any power over him, but he looked up. There was compassion in the man's eyes as he told him, "You are a good person, Merlin. I didn't want you to change that about yourself. I'm not mad that you acted like you did, but I know you. You didn't change, not really. You didn't change who you were on the inside." There were centimeters between their faces, but Merlin didn't dare hope it. That was never going to happen. Arthur poked him in the chest a second after and stood up, offering Merlin a hand. Merlin smiled at him gratefully and took it. The minute he reached for it, Arthur pulled his hand away and let Merlin fall back down on his rump.

"Some things won't change, ever," he joked. Merlin rubbed his rump but smirked at Arthur's teasing words.

"Didn't expect them to." He stood up and mused on how he was going to get them back to the other side.

"Get on my back," he told Arthur. Arthur looked scandalized.

"What?"

"Just do it."

"Merlin, I'm not going to-"

"Arthur!" he snapped sharply.

"Just not sure you can hold me," Arthur mumbled before Merlin leaned down, allowing Arthur to mount him piggy-back style. Merlin stood, his legs shaking slightly from the extra weight before shouting a spell at the lake that would push them to the other side. A wave came, picking Merlin up off his feet and almost making Arthur fall back into the lake.

"Merlin!" he spluttered as water hit his face.

"Sorry!" he called back. They hit the shore in close to no time and Merlin quickly dried them off with a warming spell.

"That was weird," Arthur commented, shaking his hair to make sure it was completely dry. He started to walk into the road when Merlin shouted a warning. A bus blew it's horn hard and Arthur jumped back, shaking like a kitten.

"What," he shouted, "Was that about?" Merlin chuckled slightly and put a hand on his shoulder.

"It's a bus, a kind of...mechanical horse. It's not alive, but it can move," Merlin tried to explain. Arthur looked at him like he was nuts, but Merlin continued, "And it won't stop for you until we have the light," he paused, pointing to the red light glaring at them, "So now when it turns green, then we can walk."

Arthur snorted, "That's stupid." Merlin gripped his arm to hold him back and snapped,

"But that's how things work here so if you don't want to die again, follow my lead." When they had successfully crossed, Merlin looked Arthur up and down. He was still in his chainmail and Camelot cape.

"You're going to need a change of outfit if you're to blend in here," he commented. Arthur looked affronted now.

"I would abandon my honor!" he told him, "And I can't get rid of this! This is my only link to home!" Merlin nodded,

"I know, but people are going to look at you weird. We can keep it at my place, but we need to buy you some modern clothes." Arthur nearly whined,

"Why don't you have to buy new clothes?" Merlin looked at his outfit.

"I do. I look like somebody's grandpa," he said to himself. "Not a word," he added pointing accusingly at his snickering friend.

((()))

Arthur held up a V-neck top that closely resembled the shirts he used to wear under his armor. Merlin shook his head and told him, "That's a girl shirt, it's supposed to bring out their curves or something." Arthur shook his head disapprovingly and asked,

"So what am I supposed to wear anyway?" Merlin pointed to a rack of jeans and khaki pants and also to another rack with t-shirts before he went back to searching for himself.

"Are you serious?" Arthur retorted a little too loudly after taking one look at the t-shirts and pants. He held up a combination of a red shirt and khaki pants to himself. "This is what peasants wear, Merlin, I can't wear this." A couple people in the shop looked at Arthur strangely before Finding himself already torn between annoyance and amusement, Merlin shot back,

"But that's where you're wrong, Arthur." The phrase sounded familiar in his mouth. That was amusing. Merlin walked over to Arthur, putting and arm around his shoulder and whispering, "There are no peasants here. There is the high class, middle class and low class and believe it or not, they all wear jeans. Or khaki, if that's what you like. Here, give me a sec." Merlin searched the rack for a size that would probably fit Arthur and smirked when he saw the label. 'Skinny'. Then he found a red t-shirt with some mainstream phrase on it with a strange symbol in front that Merlin had still failed to find out the meaning of. He looked at the shirt before approaching the counter to ask the girl there a question about it.

"Uh, I'm sorry, what does this phrase mean?" he asked, pointing to the shirt front. Her expression made Merlin want to curl in on himself and die.

"Do you not speak English, mate? Do you live under a rock?" she asked cynically with a thick Scottish accent.

"Uh...something like that," he mumbled. She rolled her eyes and pointed at the symbol.

"Hashtag." Then she pointed at each of the letters in turn, "You Only Live Once." Merlin snorted without thinking and immediately put the shirt back on the rack. Couldn't be more ironic. He settled on another red shirt with a small bird in the bottom corner and handed it to Arthur, along with the skinny khaki pants.

"Forgetting something, Merlin?" Arthur immediately asked, gesturing at his boots.

"Right," he replied, running off to grab the first pair of Vans he could find. He then handed Arthur a pair of black and white checkered Vans, chuckling slightly at the look on his face. He started to walk away to find something for himself when Arthur cleared his throat. When he glanced back at him, his friend glared at him, glancing down at the clothes and then back at Merlin.

"You're not serious…" Merlin started.

"I am. Let's go," Arthur replied quickly. They both retreated to the dressing room where they settled into a small room and Merlin did the best he could in helping his friend get dressed. Before he allowed Arthur to put on his pants, Merlin cleared his throat awkwardly and handed him a pair of white boxers. Arthur looked as though he were about to question him when Merlin gave him a look that said 'just-put-it-on-please' and he did. Then he pulled the khakis up and Merlin pulled the shirt on over his head. The chainmail clinked in the corner behind them and Merlin did a quick banishing spell to at least get the cape and chainmail back to his cottage for safekeeping. Arthur slipped on the Vans and whispered,

"How do I look?" Merlin looked him up and down in the mirror before replying,

"Actually, quite good. For this time period, at least, I think that's considered pretty hot." Arthur smacked him over the head lightly and pushed him out of the changing room so that Merlin could get his own outfit on.

((()))

In the end, Merlin decided on a light blue t-shirt with a darker blue jacket to go with it, along with black skinny jeans and green high-top converse along with a red scarf very similar to his old one. Arthur thought he looked ridiculous, but then, Arthur didn't know what was fashionable in this era and therefore, Merlin reasoned, his opinion in terms of clothing meant nothing.

When they exited the store, Arthur stuck very close to Merlin, and despite his defenses, Merlin could tell the world had changed too much for Arthur to accept it as quickly as he would like to. He caught sight of some girls wearing see-through tops and short-shorts and hissed in Merlin's ear,

"Are they prostitutes or something, why do they dress like that in public?" Merlin snorted and told him,

"Uh, no, girls are allowed a lot more freedom in what they wear now and that's considered attractive."

"It's not encouraging me, I can tell you."

"Yeah? Well we're both a couple thousand years old, not much is going to impress us." Merlin could see Arthur's thoughts leading to Gwen and Merlin nudged him,

"I'm sure if Gwen were here, she'd be a lot more sensible than them. Plus, not all of them go around like that. Check her out." Merlin gestured subtly to a woman across the street with high cheekbones, pale skin, and blond hair. She was wearing a baby blue knit top that was angled at the top so that the neckline started at her shoulders on one side and ended near the tip of her armpit at the other before leading back up to her shoulder again. She also had blue skinny jeans on and black converse and her hair was done up in a simple ponytail. Arthur nodded, seemingly satisfied.

((()))

The pair settled in a café near Merlin's cottage and Merlin quickly ordered two hot chocolates for them, with cream and marshmallows. Arthur sipped it cautiously before recoiling quickly.

"Arthur, it's chocolate, how can you not like chocolate?"

"No, I do, I just didn't think it would be so hot."

"It's hot chocolate, mate, what did you expect?"

"Not sure, really." Arthur looked distracted as he gazed out the window, as if looking for something or someone. After a moment of this, Merlin sighed and lightly rested his hands on Arthur's, shaking them slightly.

"Arthur," he tried. "Arthur?" His friend still didn't look at him.

"Arthur, your hair's on fire. Arthur, there's a dragon behind you. Arthur _Pendragon_!" he commanded. Arthur's head finally turned to look at him. He shook Merlin's hands off of his and looked at him with a confused and slightly annoyed face.

"What is it, Merlin?" he snapped. Merlin's face instantly changed to one of hurt that made him look like a kicked puppy.

"Don't give me that," Arthur snapped again, "I've only been dead for two thousand years just to wake up and find that everyone's gone but you! My life has been turned upside-down, my kingdom is gone, my friends and my life are gone, and I wanted to have a bit of peace to think about and mourn them for one second!"

"Arthur," Merlin warned, "Don't raise your voice in here, everyone can hear y-"

"I don't care!" Arthur shouted, standing up from the table, "I'm sick of this century and I'm getting sick of having only you for company!" His words hit Merlin hard and a lump was forming in his throat. He couldn't lose Arthur again this way. That wasn't fair to either of them. "Thanks for nothing!" he finished dramatically before trying to storm off by pushing a door marked 'Pull'. Hitting it with his face momentarily stunned him before he stared at the 'Pull' sign and pulled it open hard, letting it slam on the way out. _He doesn't mean that_ Freya whispered in Merlin's mind.

_I dunno, Freya, he sounded pretty serious. He sounded like he meant it._ he sent back, angry tears sitting on his eyelids.

_He's just frustrated and confused, Merlin. You need to help him like you've always helped him. He'll be killed in a day here if he's not careful, especially in this mood._ Merlin huffed loudly. He knew she was right. He looked around and realized everyone was still staring at him.

"Well, what are you looking at?" he asked loudly to no one in particular, "Go back to your drinks, nothing to see." He brought both hot chocolate mugs back only half-empty since Arthur hadn't lasted long enough to finish. Merlin didn't have the heart to finish his own. The man at the counter gave him a funny look, taking the mugs back before asking,

"You too alright?" Merlin glared at him.

"I don't think that's any of your business."

"I didn't mean to pry, son, it's just I generally don't see those kinda couples at your age." Merlin's eyes immediately widened in surprise.

"We're not...we're not...never…" he stammered.

"S'okay to be open about it in this day'n'age y'know. N'bdy's judgin' ya." The sorcerer scoffed and didn't reply. He walked out quickly to follow Arthur. He planned to follow, but keep his distance unless he had to intervene. He didn't want to lose his friend for good and figured he had a right to some alone time.

((()))

Arthur strolled along the avenue quickly, taking in Merlin's advice about stop and go lights. The whole concept was foreign to him, but everyone else seemed to be going by the same system and he wasn't about to go get himself killed quite yet. He stormed past multiple stores, including a pastry store with cakes not too different from royal cakes for special occasions, and another clothing store. He caught sight of many strange sights and different outfits that were also foreign to him. He didn't fit in here at all.

Arthur tried not to think about what he had said to Merlin. He knew it was wrong, but he didn't know what else to do. He was in a strange town in a strange time with no previous knowledge to guide him in how to act, dress, talk, or most anything, for that matter. He was completely lost in this place and he had no one else for guidance save for his best friend. Arthur did truly care about Merlin, and perhaps a tad more than he should, but it was still hard to come to terms with the fact that nobody else he knew was around anymore.

He approached a store with an old wooden sign that said, 'Books'. Looking around him, he darted inside, desperate for perhaps the slightest hint of home. He was right to come into the shop, seeing as it wasn't much different from the library in Camelot, except for the fact that it was carpeted, lighter, and smelled better. He avoided the people inside holding strange rectangular devices in their hand and went straight to the back. Arthur sat on the floor for a few minutes, still feeling numb inside, and he stared off into space, when suddenly, something caught his eye.

A book, sitting right in front of him, held the title, 'King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table'. He frowned, confused, and reached forward a tentative hand to touch the book. It was old, that was for sure, and a small subtitle on the front said, 'Listed in original print'. Curious, he flipped open the book to the first page and read a brief excerpt from the introduction.

_Arthur Pendragon, more commonly known as King Arthur, was a legendary man who became the greatest king the land of Albion had ever seen. While his reign was short-lived, his influence was never forgotten and his personality was something all young boys who knew his name aspired to imitate. These stories, while most likely fictional, supposedly come from several sources who dwelled within the palace whilst Queen Guinevere was ruling after the devastating death of her husband, Arthur. Another well-known figure in these 'Arthurian legends' is a man considered to be the greatest sorcerer yet, Merlin. Not much is known about Merlin, called Emrys by the druids and other magical folk, except for that his power is great and that he disappeared from the legends after Guinevere's death. He was most prominent during Arthur's reign, seeing as he was a key piece in helping him to the throne and aiding him in times of need. His name is mentioned few and far between in the years after Arthur's death, and as stated earlier, completely disappeared after Guinevere's. He is often portrayed as an ageless man with elderly features: a long white beard, a hunched over back, and long silvery hair that refracted the moon's light and caused it's own magic on occasion. The pair, Merlin and Arthur, were said to be very close and it devastated the wizard when he had learned of his friend's death._

Arthur had seen enough. While these stories didn't appear to be completely accurate, they were very close to reality and Arthur had never dreamed that his name would reappear in legends that man still remembered today. He shut the book and shoved it back on the shelf and then looked to see if there were any more. He found no less than twenty books filled with stories about him, which appeared to be christened 'Arthurian legends'. His heart pounded with mixed emotions towards the situation and he shut the last book, putting it gently back on the shelf before running back outside. He didn't know what else to do, so he called,

"Merlin? MERLIN!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! Just want to thank everyone again who's following/favoriting this fic and especially to anyone who has left reviews! I love getting reviews, as long as their positive or constructive criticism. Again, I don't own Merlin, but I ****_do_**** own this story/fic. I hope you guys enjoy Chapter 3! Any and all input it welcome as to where it should go next, although no promises if it conflicts too much with where I've kind of planned it to go. Thanks again! Enjoy! **

A few bystanders gave the former king strange looks when he called out his friend's name. Most of them hurried away, not looking at him. Arthur rolled his eyes after a minute and Merlin didn't come.

"Figures…" he muttered, "Probably still sulking about in the shop." He felt a hand slap onto his shoulder and he whipped around quickly, one arm outstretched to whack the interloper in the middle of the face.

"Owww," complained a familiar voice. Merlin was clutching his nose, now streaming blood from where Arthur had hit him hard. "Easy, mate," he said resentfully, "You called, didn't you?" Arthur wasn't sure whether to be annoyed, relieved, or guilty, so he found himself in a mixture of all three.

"Where were you?" he asked tersely. Merlin fixed his nose quickly with a quiet spell, sniffed, and replied,

"Following you, you reckless clotpole! You can't just storm out of the café and presume to know where you're going! You don't know how this time works yet, you could've been hurt!" Merlin sounded more worried than upset before continuing in a slightly lowered and more hurt voice, "You didn't have to yell at me either, you know. I'm trying to help you. Remember that." Arthur's expression softened as he replied just as quietly,

"I know. I'm s- it won't happen again." Merlin cocked an eyebrow. Was the magnificent former king about to apologize? Arthur poked him with a disapproving expression on his face. When he didn't respond with more than an offended look, Arthur grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him into the bookshop, going all the way to the back. Merlin knew where they were going and he guessed why. Arthur must have found those legends by chance.

When they reached the back, Arthur kept a firm grip on Merlin's shirt and pulled him to the ground where the books lay on the bottom shelf. "Explain those, Merlin. Please tell me what those are and how they got there." Merlin grabbed Arthur's hand and tried to pry his fingers loose from his shirt.

"You don't need to...keep holding on to….my shirt...Arthur….it hurts, Arthur….too tight…" he rasped as his neckerchief and shirt dug into his neck. Arthur released him quickly, but didn't apologize. Merlin muttered thanks, though he wasn't quite sure his friend deserved it. He regained his breath before looking back up at Arthur, reprimanding,

"You can't treat me like this anymore, Arthur, I'm not your servant. I'm your friend. I thought you apologized for how you treated me last time we met." Arthur looked conflicted and a bit annoyed that Merlin brought this up. But he knew he was right. He allowed a smirk to play on his face.

"Okay, Merlin." He ruffled his friend's hair affectionately and Merlin grumbled, "Apology accepted." After a moment, Arthur shook himself and asked again,

"Okay, so tell me what those are. I never expected my story to be among the ones of legend." Merlin's lips curled into a smile.

"Despite all the times you reminded me that you were the superior one, you still manage to horribly underestimate yourself." Arthur blinked at him. "I don't know for certain, Arthur, I only know a bit more than you about them. Someone must have thought you were worth writing about, and you were...are…and decided to write about it. Given, they didn't get all the details right, so they must have been someone in the castle, but not anyone very close to us like Gwen or me or Gaius. I'm not really sure who it was, I never found out." Merlin shrugged and stood up.

"But how did they know about you? You kept your identity as a warlock secret, didn't you?" Arthur asked inquisitively.

"Yeah, but it uh...well it came out later after Gwen figured it out and while she didn't announce it to the whole kingdom, it was quite well-known in the castle. And accepted, I suppose, for most. So whoever compiled these stories must have figured I had a bigger part to play than everyone thought, but they didn't seem to know that you were unaware of it. So again, couldn't have been me or Gwen or Gaius who put together these legends." Arthur nodded, putting his hands in his pockets before pulling them out quickly.

"What is with these pockets? I can barely fit my hands in them!" Arthur demanded to know. Merlin put a hand over his mouth to hide his laugh as Arthur tried twice more to fit the entirety of his hand into the tiny, skinny pocket.

"They're skinny jeans, Arthur. Khaki skinny jeans. They have tiny pockets, you might as well get used to them," he laughed.

"Well what about yours then?"

"Mine are the same way, see?" Merlin tried stuffing his hands in his pockets, to no avail.

"What are the point of having pockets anyway then? These pants are stupid!" he scoffed in frustration.

"It's just a quirk of the century, Arthur, go with it…"

((()))

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months as Arthur and Merlin explored the century together. Arthur grew accustomed to the attire and the way he was supposed to act, but it didn't make him particularly happy. He thought his instincts were going soft. Merlin, on the other hand, was just thrilled to have his friend back and was eager to show him around. After a while Arthur grudgingly accepted his situation and began bonding with his friend again and making up for lost time.

"Merlin?"

"Hm?"

"Pass me the soap, would you?" Merlin was lying lazing in an armchair in the corner of the cottage while Arthur was bathing on the other side of the room. Modesty was not an issue because, seeing as he used to be Arthur's manservant, he had seen Arthur naked many times before and it wasn't new to him. He got up from the chair and grabbed the soap sitting on the sink, tossing it over to the bathtub. It was about to miss, so his eyes glowed gold for a second to fix the aim. It landed right in front of Arthur, splashing water up into his face.

"Was that really necessary?" he barked, half amused and half annoyed.

"It was indeed, your Royal Soapiness."

"That's not funny." Merlin settled back into the chair before laughing a bit.

"Yes it was, I am a very funny person," Merlin joked.

"Idiot."

"Jerk."

"Dunghead."

"Clotpole."

"Clotpole?!"

"Yes, clotpole. I've used it before and I'll use it again," Merlin chuckled from his seat. He opened his mouth to say more when a piece of yellow soap landed in his mouth. He gagged, torn between amusement, disgust, and annoyance.

"Ar-fur!" he shouted, his voice inhibited by the soap in his mouth. He spit it out quickly. "That's disgusting!" he said, wiping his mouth and running to the sink to wash his mouth out.

"You brought that on yourself," Arthur defended himself from the bathtub. Merlin opened his mouth to reply yet again when he hiccupped and a bubble popped out of his mouth. Arthur snorted.

"What was that, Merlin? Couldn't hear you," he teased. He tried again, but every time he took a breath, he hiccupped and more bubbles came out of his mouth. Arthur was near hysterics now, just teasing Merlin into trying to say something and made him into his own personal bubble maker. Merlin looked frustrated but also very amused as well. A huge bubble came out at one point and that did it. Merlin started laughing and the more he breathed in, the more bubbles he produced. Both boys were crying with laughter by the end of it and Merlin finally fixed it with his magic. He playfully scowled at Arthur and tossed him a towel, which landed on his head.

When Arthur was out of the bath and dressing, Merlin pointed an accusatory finger at him playfully and said, "Next time, that'll be you."

Life for them went on like this, joking and playing and Arthur wrestling Merlin to the floor when he annoyed him too much. One day, nearly six months after Arthur's return, in the midst of pancake-making, Arthur said,

"I want to go home." He flipped a pancake sadly and looked at Merlin with big, sad, brown eyes.

"Don't give me that face, Pendragon," Merlin teased, not sure whether Arthur was being serious or not.

'No, seriously, Merlin." He put down his spatula and put a hand on Merlin's arm to make him pay attention to him. Merlin turned to him, his eyes full of concern now.

"Arthur...you can't just go home. This is home now." Merlin flipped a pancake and continued, "There's nothing for you to go home to." He rested his own spatula on the side counter and turned around to face his best friend, putting his hands on the counter for support. "I told you, Camelot is g-"

"I know Camelot's gone, Merlin," Arthur snapped impatiently, "But it's still my home and it's still an actual location, right? I want to see how it is now." Merlin looked at him with deep concern.

"I know what you'll find and I don't think you'll like it. Are you sure you don't want to go somewhere else instead?" Arthur leaned forward so that his hands were settled just outside of Merlin's on the counter and their faces were inches apart. Merlin's heart started pounding and he hoped to God Arthur couldn't hear it. That would be unbearable.

"I want. To go. To Camelot." Merlin gulped and nodded. Arthur stared at him for a minute, warm brown eyes meeting deep blue, before he stood up straight again and walked away to grab a pair of pants that he wasn't wearing at the moment.

"Burning the pancakes, Merlin?" came his questioning voice a minute later. Merlin hadn't moved from the spot, just staring into space, thinking. He didn't realize that behind him their pancakes were starting to smoke.

"Blast," he muttered. They weren't completely burnt, but the edges were black and now he'd probably have to cut them off for Arthur to keep him happy. They had not had pancakes in Camelot and Arthur had acquired a love of them. Pancakes and waffles.

((()))

For the last six months, Merlin and Arthur hadn't gone anywhere farther than a couple of miles in any direction or so because everything was local. It was a rural area and a small town. So when Arthur wanted to go to Camelot, it wasn't only Merlin's reservations about what he would see, it was also a matter of how much Arthur trusted him to get him there. He could rent two horses, which would be the most logical thing to do, except for that it might bring back old ghosts. The only other option he had was summoning Aithusa to fly them there, the dragon who Merlin hatched all those years ago and was probably very elderly by now. He weighed these two options and decided, despite the throwbacks it might bring up, horses were most likely the better option. He wasn't even sure of Aithusa would willingly obey him anyhow and might try to do something to Arthur. Besides the fact that Arthur may not be thrilled with riding Morgana's old pet dragon.

So Merlin and Arthur marched out to a man Merlin was familiar with. He was nice enough and he owned more than enough horses for himself. He was about a half a mile out of town and Merlin made a quick exchange for two beautiful brown horses. He gave Arthur the taller one, seeing as he still liked to think himself a teensy bit better even though he'd been humbled beyond belief in the past few weeks. Merlin decided to humor him anyway.

Merlin led as they rode back to his cottage to grab supplies, pulling out the bags from forever ago that they used to use on journeys on horseback. He smirked when he brought them out and Arthur's face brightened. They attached them to the horses and brought enough food and water for a three days journey there and back, as well as any basic medicinal herbs Merlin thought were necessary to bring in case they had an accident. Arthur was almost dancing with eagerness to go already and jumped onto the horse when Merlin finally said it was okay to go. He led Arthur out of town and towards the more open areas. Soon, they couldn't see the town or any civilization at all, just the forest ahead of them.

Merlin heard Arthur sigh behind him. "This is perfect," he commented. Merlin nodded. "Just like old times." And it was. No one was around, just them and the open wilderness. When they reached the forest, Arthur rode up to ride next to Merlin and held a hand up with two fingers the way he used to to signal him to stop.

"What is it?" Merlin whispered.

"I recognize this place, just in front of the forest. It's crawling with bandits most of the time." He almost reached for his sword before realizing it wasn't there. "Merlin!" he whispered angrily, "What am I supposed to be defending myself with?"

"Arthur, there's no bandits. Not anywhere in the forest. We call those criminals and they don't hang out in the forest anymore." Merlin spoke slowly as if to a small child. Arthur gave him a skeptical face and mumbled,

"I know what a criminal is, for heaven's sake…"

"We're safe, trust me. The worst threat to us is getting bucked off the horse or running into squatters," he told him calmly.

"But...what's a squatter?" Arthur asked curiously, still looking skeptical.

"Guys that do drugs. Chain smokers. Petty criminals. Not much harm unless they have a gun, and I can protect us from that." Arthur's eyes widened in fear. The closest thing they had to guns in his time were catapults or the mini arrow shooters. Arthur had seen a modern gun once before, when Merlin had taken him to an open grassland opposite of where they were now and a man hunting shot a deer from a much farther distance than Arthur's weapons could have shot it. Merlin explained the concept of guns to him then. They scared him mostly because it only took one bullet and it was too small to deflect easily.

"Arthur, we're fine, I've got your back, okay?" Arthur nodded slowly and let Merlin go slightly ahead of him. His confidence seemed to grow as they rode, but he still complained quite a bit.

"I wish I had my sword, Merlin!"

"I told you, it's priceless and if you lose it, it's gone for good!

"I won't lose it!"

"Listen to me, you prat, just live without it. It's not worth the risk. Plus, swords aren't exactly mainstream anymore. People will think you're some crazy serial killer or something…"

"Merlin, you ride slowly, why can't I go in front?"

"Because you don't know where you're going."

"I do so, I've known these lands since I was a child!"

"But times have changed, and if I'm to protect you, I need to confront the danger before it reaches you."

"I can take care of myself!"

"Not yet you can't."

"Dear God, Merlin, I'm not an infant!"

"Well you're sure acting like one, with all your crying and moaning."

"I'm not crying and moaning!"

"Are you listening to yourself?"

"…You're an idiot."

"And you never cease to be my very own clotpole."

The pair stopped towards nightfall to eat and replenish their strength. Merlin started a small fire and started making his old stew, the one Arthur and the knights loved so much. Arthur was silent, just glancing around every so often.

"What is it, Arthur?" Merlin finally asked. Arthur didn't immediately answer and replied,

"I just...I know this forest like the back of my hand and I keep looking for something that tells me that I'm back in my own time. A piece of cloth from a Camelot cape, a small clasp from Guinevere's dress, anything." Merlin sighed quietly. He had been doing the same thing. He handed Arthur a bowl of stew and settled down next to him. He nudged him with an elbow.

"At least you still got me, eh?"

"Yeah, wonderful…" Arthur moodily played with his stew. He looked at Merlin again and apologized, "Sorry, I didn't mean that. I, um, I really do appreciate your presence here. With me. It makes this a lot easier. I don't...I don't know what I'd do without you." Merlin looked at him curiously and replied,

"You're not so useless yourself, Arthur. I know I've probably been a bit harsh lately, but it's just because I'm worried." He stirred the stew before lifting some to his mouth, "You know I'd do anything for you." Arthur smiled into his stew.

"And I you, Merlin. And I you."

They drifted off to sleep soon after that. Arthur wanted to stay close to Merlin because there were all too many times when one of them had been dragged off while the other was asleep and sleeping a bit closer saved them from that. Even though there was close to no threat out here anymore, Merlin sensed that Arthur felt helpless and wanted to take advantage of the protection his friend the warlock offered. Merlin knew that he felt helpless and he was determined to help him find himself again. He would have a new identity in this world, but he just had to find it again.

When Merlin awoke in the morning, he found that somehow in the middle of the night, Arthur's head had found it's way to Merlin's chest and Merlin's arm was over Arthur's chest in almost a protective manner. His heart fluttered again and Merlin just sat for a minute observing the peace on Arthur's face. He looked almost childlike when he slept and it almost hurt to look at him. He kept his arm where it was and brought up his other hand to rest it on his friend's head. His hair was soft and he had to restrain himself from running his fingers through it. He didn't want to move at all, but he wasn't sure what Arthur's reaction would be to the position they found themselves in. It was innocent, just Arthur laying sideways so that his head and chest were sprawled across Merlin's chest, and Merlin lazily keeping his arm on Arthur's chest. But Merlin wasn't sure if Arthur would get the wrong idea.

The blond man opened his eyes soon enough and he blinked a couple of times as if trying to remember where they were. He looked up at Merlin, whose eyes were flitting to his and then away and then back to his again. He felt the weight of Merlin's arm on his chest and left it there. It was comforting to him. Merlin appeared to be nervous and started to draw his arm away when Arthur shot out a hand and pulled it back onto his chest. "You're fine, quit freaking out," he scoffed, "Did you wake up this way?" Merlin nodded, biting his lip. "So what's the bloody problem, we've slept next to each other before!" Merlin let a small smile play on his lips and nodded again.

"Sorry, just...nerves and all. We're uh...going to reach the Valley of the Fallen Kings by nightfall hopefully…" he trailed off, still biting his lip. Arthur gave him a light slap on the cheek as he sat up.

"Quit looking so worried, I trust you, alright?" He stood and brushed himself off and stretched. Merlin took a second to rub his eyes before he stood also and started gathering their belongings back on to the horses, which were grudgingly tied to a tree. These horses were not used to the long distances with heavy loads since they were previously used for pleasure riding the majority of the time. Merlin stroked their noses before they left and tried feeding them apples to appease them, but they quickly ate the apples and then refused to let him pet them, snapping at his fingers whenever he got close.

Arthur snorted when he saw the horses going after Merlin's fingers and when Merlin turned around to grin with him, one of the horses caught his finger and bit down hard. He yelled loudly in pain and jumped back, cradling his bleeding finger. Arthur took the hand that was bleeding, looked at it, and let go of it.

"You're fine, you big baby," he scoffed, "I've had my share of horse bites and that, Merlin, is not a bad one." He continued to walk and mounted the horse that had bitten Merlin.

"Nice horse, good horse," he stroked it, teasing Merlin slightly in the process. Merlin tried to scowl at him, but after a moment an amused grin came over his face.

"Shut up, Pendragon," he laughed, mounting his own horse quickly. After a few hours, Merlin got bored just riding in front of Arthur silently. He made his horse sprint, looking back at Arthur, his eyes glinting with competition.

"Come on, Arthur! Afraid of a little competition? You know where we're going, you can race me now!" Arthur grinned and yelled back as he began to catch up,

"You'd better say your prayers, Merlin, 'cos you haven't got a chance!" Arthur sped his horse up to catch Merlin's and lapped him easily. He laughed out of sheer excitement and freedom of the moment. He hadn't had a chance to do something he used to and wanted to do in a long time. This was one of the best things he'd done since he'd woken up.

Merlin was catching up to Arthur and Arthur took a second to look back at him and the warlock shouted out a warning to his friend. Arthur turned his head a second to late and his handsome face collided with a thick, low-hanging branch. It knocked him off of his horse and he landed on his shoulder, his head colliding with the ground and bouncing off. He lay still and the horse stopped a few yards after Arthur fell. Merlin felt a flitter of panic. He wasn't moving.

"Arthur!" he called out. He stopped the horse quickly and jumped off a few feet from Arthur. He put a hand on his friend's neck and turned it side to side. Not broken, and he still had a pulse. A bit fainter than it should be, but it was definitely there. He roped the horses in quickly and brought out water. He ran back over to Arthur, kneeling next to his unconscious form, and tilted the tip of the canteen on Arthur's lips. He poured it until Arthur spluttered, coughing hard. Merlin released a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

Arthur sat up and coughed hard for a few minutes. Merlin slapped him on the back to help him and Arthur pushed him off.

"Not...helping…" he wheezed. Merlin went around to face him and placed a hand on his chest.

"What are you…doing?" Arthur asked, staring at his hand.

"Just trust me, I know what I'm doing," Merlin replied impatiently. Arthur nodded, still wheezing and Merlin whispered, "**Clea bradie airea**". His eyes glowed gold and Arthur's windpipe cleared. He put a hand on his neck for a minute before he looked at Merlin. His magic never ceased to amaze the former king. He laid his hand on Merlin's shoulder to steady himself.

"Thanks. My head…." he groaned, holding his head. He tried to stand but immediately fell back on his rump.

"Don't try to stand, you're lucky you didn't snap your neck from both hitting the tree branch and then falling off the horse. You're really badly hurt though, you need to rest." Arthur shook his head and whined in protest, but Merlin made him lay still. He picked him up under the armpits and dragged him to a tree to lean against. He groaned in protest again, but stopped struggling. He held a hand up to his head, feeling the lump forming on the right side of his forehead.

"How did I...how did that even happen? That's never...happened to me before in my...life. Fallen off a bucking horse….sure, but never...never have I run straight into a tree branch. It's...humiliating…" Arthur breathed. Merlin smirked.

"Well at least it was only me here to see it, then," he replied cockily. Arthur rolled his eyes and said,

"Yeah, fantastic." He'd picked up the word from the town people's vocabulary and he used it quite often now when he was being sarcastic. Merlin brought out his herbs from the ancient medicine bag Gaius used to use and pulled out the herbs he needed to treat Arthur. He wrapped his head with gauze after treating it with herbs, wiping away the bit of blood dribbling down from above the bump on his head. Merlin wiped around the edge of the gauze with a wet cloth as gently as he could. Then he looked at Arthur.

"All better now. You should be fine in a couple of hours." Arthur shifted his gaze to Merlin's.

"Hours?"

"Yeah, I...uhm...I put a healing spell on it to make it heal faster. You'll barely feel it in a few hours, okay?" He gave him a small smile and turned to gather the herbs back into the bag. "Get some rest, alright?" Arthur nodded, but right before he dozed off, he said quietly,

"Merlin, don't leave. Don't...don't leave…" He put a hand out as if looking for something to hold on to. Merlin gave a small sigh and sat down next Arthur, slipping his hand into the blonde's outstretched one. Arthur gripped his hand tightly and didn't let go. He fell asleep after a few minutes, but kept tight hold of his friend's hand. Merlin thought of several ways in which he could get free without disturbing Arthur, but then he thought Why? What good reason did he have to go sit somewhere else? None at all. So Merlin leaned against the wide trunk of the tree next to Arthur, deciding it was best to get some sleep as well, even if he wasn't as tired as Arthur seemed to be. Merlin cautiously leaned sideways into Arthur and rested his head on Arthur's shoulder. His sleeping friend didn't move and soon enough, the comfort of Arthur's warmth and familiarity granted Merlin a chance to take a small nap with him.

It seemed like a long time until someone disturbed him. Merlin felt Arthur shift next to him, not away, just to give more comfort. But then his hand was alone, not clutched in Arthur's anymore and Arthur shifted again. He was trying to shake him awake. He whispered as though trying not to be heard, but urgently,

_"Merlin!"_


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it took a bit longer to write this one and I also apologize for the length. I particularly like this chapter because there is a lot of fluff for you all. Thanks to everyone who reads and I appreciate the continued support. Please read and review, I love getting reviews, even if they're just a couple of words. Keep following, the story isn't over yet! :) **

**I do not own Merlin. Enjoy Chapter 4! :D**

Merlin's eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly, his hands out, ready to defend. Arthur put a hand over his mouth and pulled his hands back so that they weren't sticking out. Arthur tilted his head towards something moving and whispered, barely audibly.

"Is that what I think it is or am I just delusional?" Merlin squinted his eyes, trying to get the sleep out of them. It was late afternoon and something very big and white was moving in the shadows. It didn't seem to notice them and was just rustling bushes loudly for the most part. Suddenly a large, scaly, white tail came into view. Merlin instantly recognized it now.

Aithusa.

Merlin looked at Arthur and nodded silently. Arthur removed his hand from Merlin's mouth and whispered, "What the hell do we do about it?" Merlin smirked. Arthur looked less reassured.

"I know that look," he whispered cautiously, "You make that face when you have a brilliant yet really stupid idea. Whatever it is, I don't want to hear it. It's a bloody dragon and here we are, unarmed. I know you're a sorcerer and all, but even you can't kill a dragon so easily." Merlin frowned.

"I'm not going to kill her, Arthur. I, well...I'm a dragon lord. On top of everything else, I know. I am also the last Dragon Lord and have been for quite some time." Arthur cocked an eyebrow. Evidently he did not understand what this meant. Merlin explained as if to a child, "Dragon Lords control dragons. Dragons or related species have to obey me, at least to a certain extent and as long as it is within their power. Aithusa won't hurt us, I promise. Maybe we can even get a ride the rest of the way."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Fantastic…" he said sarcastically, "Not only the world's most powerful sorcerer, oh no, that isn't enough for little old Merlin. No, you're a bloody Dragon Lord, too. Is there anything you're not? Anything else you've neglected to tell me?" Merlin thought for a second.

"I'm not an ass," he decided, smirking playfully at his best friend before hopping into the clearing casually.

"That's debatable…" Arthur mumbled, following behind Merlin, but keeping a safer distance from the dragon. He watched curiously as Merlin murmured incantations under his breath to the dragon to keep her calm. Merlin reached out a hand to stroke softly along the side and Arthur jumped slightly when Aithusa's flank shivered slightly. They finally reached the head and they rounded in front of the dragon. Aithusa took one look at Arthur and roared, loudly and aggressively. Merlin shouted more rubbish sounding magic at her and she was silenced after a few moments, huffing and glaring at Arthur.

Merlin turned and apologized, "She was Morgana's pet for a while, she's pretty much been hardwired to kill you. Sorry." Aithusa whined at the mention of Morgana's name. He shrugged as if this was no big deal and he slowly approached the dragon. She grudgingly let him approach, only because she knew who he was. Merlin stroked her nose gently, and in spite of herself, Aithusa closed her eyes in pleasure. It had been a long time since anyone had seen her, much less stroked her and shown her love or affection.

"Can you speak?" Merlin whispered to the dragon. Aithusa shook her mighty head and laughed in Merlin's head.

_I have been alive for a long time now Emrys, I have learned. Why do you bring him with you? She tilted her head at Arthur an snorted angrily again. He is the enemy, a Pendragon. He despises magic, in fact, he should not even be alive, still. How is he here? _

Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but suddenly, after a few moments of staring at Arthur, she spoke again. _Ah, yesss...the Once and Future King, am I correct? He has risen again...Morgana despised him, you know. She left me, ages back. I never found out what happened to her._ Aithusa frowned as if contemplating. She opened her mouth in what appeared to be testing her vocal cords and asked Merlin vocally, "What happened...to the high priestess, Emrys?" Arthur looked furious and confused. He didn't want to talk to the dragon, especially once he knew that she hated him, and also knowing that she had once been Morgana's pet and taken out armies of Camelot at Camlann.

"Morgana is dead!" he burst out, his voice coming out in a vile hiss, "She betrayed me and she died the day I did." He stared at the dragon defiantly.

"Arthur!" Merlin protested. This was very unlike his friend to have such a hate-filled outburst. Aithusa roared in defiance as well, hissing as she tried to restrain from turning him to ash there and then. Merlin stepped between them, pointing a finger at Aithusa.

"You will not hurt him. I know you are the last of your kind, Aithusa, but I would defend him first." Aithusa let out what sounded like a light chuckle.

"I am no longer the last, Emrys. I have a good few eggs over the years. There are a fair number of dragons roaming the skies nowadays, although they are excellent in stealth. I would say I have about fifty children." Merlin stared at her.

"But that's...impossible, isn't it? Don't you need to...you know...fertilize?"

"Such ignorance, Emrys…" she hissed lightly, "The dragons have no need for such devices. We were built to survive and thus we females can lay eggs without need of a male." Merlin's eyes widened, but he said no more. He would worry about that later. He turned to Arthur and pointed a finger at him.

"Stop talking. You're making it worse." Arthur looked as though he would protest, but from a serious glare from Merlin and harmless snort of fire from the dragon's nose, he crossed his arms and shut his mouth.

"We have one request, Aithusa. I have not asked anything of you from the time of Arthur's first passing until now. Nothing. And I could have asked much of you. So I only ask for one favor." Aithusa narrowed her eyes, but nodded as if to say 'Go on.' Merlin swallowed and requested, "We would like a ride to the resting place of Camelot. Arthur and I can ride on your back if you will carry the horses coupled with supplies in your...claws. Without eating them."

Aithusa was silent for a minute. Then she yawned and asked lazily, "What good reason have I to do this for you? I am not a taxi to carry passengers as they please..." A suppressed frustration rose up in Merlin.

"I am a Dragon Lord!" he shouted at her, suddenly very angry, "It was not a choice I offered you, but a command! You must do as I say! I have asked nothing of you, ever, and I could have asked the world from you! You will do this for us and we will leave you in peace, but if you do not, you will be punished!" At this sudden show of authority, Aithusa cringed and sat up. Her smooth voice replied,

"There's no need to be fussy, Emrys…" Merlin threw a satisfied glance back at Arthur, but Arthur looked a bit awestruck at Merlin's abilities to control the creature. The warlock reached out a hand to him and Arthur took it as Merlin led him closer to the dragon. As it turned out, it ended up being Arthur helping Merlin up rather than the other way around, but Merlin sat behind Arthur with his arms outstretched on either side to keep him from falling. His hands gripped the long twisted horns attached to Aithusa's head.

When they were up in the air, Arthur kept glancing down nervously. "I've never ridden a dragon before," he said stupidly, "Nor've I ever been up this high before."

"Yes, you have," Merlin said automatically before remembering why.

"What, when?"

"You were sort of...dead," Merlin replied.

"Thanks…" he muttered, shaking his head back and forth in disapproval. Aithusa swung by their camp to pick up their horses and bags with her thin claws and then flew them out in the direction of Camelot.

((()))

Arthur leaned back into Merlin the entire way to Camelot, as if afraid he might fall, which was not a completely irrational fear. Aithusa was flying higher than Kilgarra did when he carried Merlin the couple times that he did. She set them down just outside where the boundaries of the Upper Town would be. Arthur almost didn't want to look. They slid off the dragon's back easily and collected their supplies and horses. The horses were skittish, but seemed otherwise unharmed. Merlin tied them to a tree just outside the city gates and patted Arthur on the back.

"Let's go." Arthur finally looked up and saw the stone walls at their knees. His heart immediately sank. They climbed the slight incline to where the gates would be and looked down on the ruined city. Merlin looked at Arthur sadly and saw that Arthur looked crushed. Arthur pointed to a spot on the wall.

"My knights patrolled here, to keep the peace and watch for dangers." He knelt down and touched the dirt at his feet. They walked beyond the wall and little remained of the town except for the stone tile road. Most of the buildings were only a couple feet high. He pointed at another spot, and Merlin could see tears in his eyes, threatening to take him.

"There used to be a stand there. I would buy Guinevere flowers or little trinkets…" Arthur saw a small pink flower poking out between the tiles and knelt to touch it. He poked it with a finger before standing up again. It seemed to mock him.

Arthur continued to point out spots like this, although how he could tell exactly where each spot was in the ruins was beyond Merlin's knowledge. They reached where the castle would be. Arthur looked up. The walls and shape remained, but Merlin knew most of the inside was completely blown out. They treaded carefully through the wreckage and walked through what used to be a secret doorway into the kitchens. There was nothing there, not even a pot to confirm its existence.

As he had been doing earlier, Arthur made note of where things used to be. The stairs to the second floor still remained, but once the stairwell ended, so did the floor. Arthur stopped at the top and waited for Merlin before looking at him with a tad of annoyance.

"Can't you...magic it?" Arthur asked, waving his hands like he was trying to cast a spell. Merlin sighed and sat down on the last stair, his feet hanging over the edge. He did not reply for a long time.

"What is it?" the former king asked, his voice laced with genuine concern. He sat down next to Merlin after he stayed silent, his hands clasped together. He waited for a minute before saying quietly, "I'm sorry, Merlin. I know you loved this place too. It was home to both of us, and many others who are lost." Silence. "Come on, Merlin, show me a smile. That charming smile that made everyone's heart melt. That stupid grin you get when you're thinking of something you know I won't like. That devious one that terrifies me because I know you have a stupid idea that you're doing no matter what." He elbowed him softly. Merlin kept his poker face on, just staring at the ground.

Arthur rolled his eyes and said, "Okay, you asked for it." He reached an arm around Merlin's shoulders slowly before quickly wrapping that arm around his neck and pulling Merlin close to him in a headlock. From there he took his other arm and noogied him hard, rubbing his knuckles against Merlin's scalp. Half of the sorcerer's body was hanging over the edge precariously, but Arthur had him in a hard lock. "Come on Merlin!" he growled, trying to get him to talk. Merlin started to laugh in spite of himself and tried to unwrap Arthur's arms from his head.

"Stop, stop, please stop!" he finally yelped, "I'll tell you, I'll tell you!" Arthur stopped, but carefully made sure his friend was safely on the stop before taking his support away. "Not promising you'll like it though," he added. He contemplated telling Arthur for another minute ("Do I have to headlock you again, Merlin?") before turning to him.

"Okay. Uh, hang on…just give me your face."

"My...Merlin, what are you doing?" Merlin put his outstretched fingers on each side of Arthur's head, right where his temples were, his eyes closed and his head tilted down slightly.

"_Mer_lin!"

"Shh, I'm concentrating. Think of Camelot the way it used to be. Think really hard about it, Arthur, I really want this to work." Arthur wanted to ask more questions, but he huffed and closed his eyes after a minute too, and concentrated on Camelot.

He thought about Gwen when they were married and the many words exchanged between them that meant to much to him. He thought of Morgana before she turned her back on Camelot and everything she loved. He neglected to think about Uther, since he had basically learned to dislike his father after thinking about it for a while. He didn't want Uther in his dream. He thought of his knights, Gwaine and Percival and Leon. They were all so brave. He hesitated to think of Mordred or Lancelot, but he did anyway. He had loved them both at one point before they had done him wrong. Elion was there too, smiling and laughing with the other knights. He visualized himself walking through Camelot, around the grounds, on the training field in the morning when dew had just been deposited on the soft grass. Arthur allowed a wider range of people into his mind, Gaius and the cooks and everyone in the castle when he had left it. He thought of the many people he had helped while he was in charge. He began to fall into this dream, visualizing himself sitting at the Round Table and walking around the hallways. When he turned around, he suddenly saw Merlin behind him.

"Merlin…" he whispered, his mouth slightly agape in awe. He suddenly understood what Merlin was trying to accomplish. Suddenly his eyes flashed open and he was thrown slightly back from Merlin. Merlin's eyes were open now too, his hands still raised but not connected with Arthur's temples anymore. They both looked at each other and Merlin slowly turned his head to see if it had worked.

"Arthur...look…" he murmured. He looked to his left and froze. The building had filled itself in, it seemed, and brought Camelot back. But it wasn't completely back. It was shimmering slightly, like an image. Arthur stood slowly.

"Can we…?" Merlin nodded. He put one foot out and rested it on the smooth rock floor of his castle. He took a few steps forward and glanced back at Merlin.

"How long can you keep it like this?" he asked, his voice as excited as a child on Christmas. Merlin shook his head.

"I'd give you thirty minutes at best. It's a very powerful spell, Arthur, I can't hold it any longer than that." Arthur nodded and started to jog in a direction he wanted to go. Merlin smiled, happy that he was making Arthur happy. That was all he ever wanted.

Merlin took a different route himself, going down the stairs towards Gaius's chambers. They would not be able to interact with the people, but they could visualize it. He pushed open the wooden door and sighed happily. Gaius's chambers looked the same as ever. Gaius himself was seated at a table with a ghost of a younger Merlin. They were having dinner and talking about their days. It had been a good day. Merlin walked past them and into his bedroom. Happy tears rose to his eyes. It hurt greatly to be this close to home and yet so unable to be there. He couldn't decide if this spell was a good thing or a bad thing anymore.

Merlin left the chambers quickly and went to find Arthur. His place was there, at his side. He located him quickly, trying to interact with Gwen. She was staring out the window, biting her lip and looking generally concerned or distracted. It was nighttime now, so the image of a previous version of Arthur was present too. He was sitting silently at the table, looking half-asleep. Merlin walked over to the real Arthur and put a hand on his shoulder and warned him, "She can't hear you. She's not here, Arthur." Arthur's head turned to look at him, and he looked slightly angry, as if what Merlin was telling him was a deliberate lie. Then his expression cleared and he looked back at Gwen. He reached out a hand to touch her, but his hand passed through the image. "Only objects are solid here, not people," Merlin added sadly. Arthur nodded, his head bowed and left the room.

They strolled down to the hallway and down to where the knights would dress and undress accordingly for the day. Since it was evening now, they would be there to take off their armor. Arthur skipped down the stairs and swallowed at what he saw. Merlin followed closely and his eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. There he saw Gwaine, Percival, Leon, and Elion, all laughing and horsing around, but also present were Lancelot and Mordred. Merlin knew why they were there. Arthur had loved them both once as brothers before they betrayed him. In fairness, Lancelot wasn't in his right mind when he was betraying Arthur, but it still hurt him deeply, Merlin knew.

Gwaine was trying to wrestle something from Mordred, a helmet it looked like, and Mordred and Percival were laughing hard. Lancelot was talking to Leon about something, funny presumably, because Leon looked like he was having a fun time listening to the story. Elion was watching Gwaine, Mordred, and Percival and taunting Gwaine. Arthur smiled after a minute of taking in the scene before then. A real smile. Merlin looked at him and did a double take and his lips curled up to mimic his friend's beautiful smile.

As Merlin's power dwindled, they made their way back to the staircase where they had begun. On their way as they marched down the hallway, Merlin saw a face that made him freeze in his tracks. Arthur glanced at Merlin before looking in front of him. His mouth dropped slightly as his mouth formed a small "No…"

Walking towards them, still an image, was a younger version of Morgana. She looked happy and completely care-free, the way she used to, so many years ago and before all the hurt that she caused. She was talking to a maid, presumably one who took care of Gwen now that she was queen. There was no hidden intent behind her eyes, no malicious ideas or violent thoughts. Just peace and kindness and compassion, the old Morgana. The one that had taken in the druid boy that grew to kill Arthur and the one that had been so kind to Guinevere before she had tried to kill her to prevent her from taking the throne. This is the Morgana Arthur loved as a sister, not the monster she grew to become. Merlin glanced at Arthur.

"Take it away. Take it away, now," Arthur ordered. Merlin hesitated for a second to take note that the poor man was shaking. "I said NOW, Merlin!" he repeated, his voice cracking now. He pulled Arthur on to the step that was still existent and waved his hand. The image disappeared. With a thump, Merlin fell on his rump on the staircase. He would have fallen back, but Arthur shot out a hand and caught him by the arm. He pulled Merlin back up to the top step and led him down the stairs by the hand to make sure he could hold on to him in case he fell again. When they reached the bottom, Merlin's legs gave out and he fell to the floor again. He was shaking, his legs quaking with the effort it had taken him just to hold himself up going down the stairs. Both of their faces were blanched and Merlin was sweating suddenly and his hands shaking violently. Arthur hesitantly sat down next to him, holding on to his hand.

Merlin didn't look at Arthur, he just stared at the floor and wiped away the sweat on his brow with his other hand. His expression was greatly troubled and Arthur looked at him with great concern.

"Merlin?" he asked very quietly, as if afraid if he spoke too loudly he would shatter his friend. He put his other hand under Merlin's chin, tilting it up and to the side so they were looking at each other. "Are you okay?" he asked slowly. Merlin shook his head 'no'. "Can I help you?" Another shake 'no'. Arthur had stopped worrying about seeing Morgana and was intensely worried about the wellbeing of his friend at this point. He was still holding Merlin's hand with one of his own and he knew Merlin wanted it that way. Merlin was still shaking violently, as if he was cold. He didn't seem to be getting any better.

Arthur looked at Merlin for another minute more before murmuring, "It's alright, Merlin, it's all okay now." As he said this he wrapped his other arm around Merlin, twisting them so they were facing each other, and slowly pulled him into a hug. Merlin gladly accepted it, burying his face in Arthur's chest. Both of Arthur's arms were around him protectively and he held him close, one hand on his back and one behind his head, slowly petting his hair. Softly, Arthur cooed, "I'm here, don't worry, it's okay...shh, it's okay." Arthur felt Merlin's body shudder when he started to cry softly. The former king swallowed a lump in his own throat as he tried not to join Merlin in crying, but soon enough tears rose to his own eyes and fell down his face silently. He rocked back and forth in a comforting manner, trying to comfort both himself and his friend. Merlin's arms were wrapped around Arthur's back and they stayed in this same position for a long time.

After a while, Merlin shifted to be more comfortable, scooting closer into Arthur's warm embrace and nuzzling his head into Arthur's neck. Arthur didn't seem to mind, on the contrary, he seemed to like it, leaning into his friend slightly. The way they were sitting now, Merlin was practically in Arthur's lap, his arms around his middle and Arthur just held him, shifting slightly ever so often. He rested his head on Merlin's now and felt comfortable enough to fall asleep, but he knew they couldn't do that, nor could they stay in this position forever.

"I'm sorry," Merlin started finally. Arthur pulled back to look at him.

"What for?"

"Acting like a baby. I was being stupid."

"Merlin," Arthur reprimanded, sounding almost angry, "You didn't do anything wrong. In fact, you did something right, like always. That was really quite impressive magic." Then he looked worried, "You're tired, aren't you? That must have taken a lot of power."

"Exhausted and a ton, yeah." Arthur looked at him sympathetically.

"You didn't have to do that, you know."

"I know."

"So why did you?"

"It made you happy. And that makes me happy." Merlin blushed slightly when Arthur did in response, but he hid his face from him by nuzzling back into his shoulder again.

"You okay now?" Arthur inquired. Merlin nodded silently.

"Shall we then?"

"Shall we what?"

"Oh goodness, Merlin...clueless as ever." He stood, untangling himself from Merlin and offered him a hand. Merlin took it and they headed back out of the broken citadel. Arthur looked troubled and so Merlin decided to ask him about what they had seen, but hesitated at first.

Once they were on the horses and heading back to town, Merlin decided to ask Arthur, "That…simulation of sorts was based on your thoughts about Camelot. Why were Morgana, Mordred, and Lancelot there?" He was fairly sure he already knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it from Arthur. Arthur sighed and joked at first,

"The endless questions, _Mer_lin, why the endless questions?" Merlin did not reply, signaling for Arthur to just answer the question. "I think...well, I think they were there because I cared for them...at some point. They were important in my life and I wanted them back the way they were. Lancelot was easy, since you told me that both he and Gwen were enchanted when I thought they had betrayed me. Morgana, well…you knew her before, too. She was sweet and kind and she stood up for what she believed in. I'd like to believe she was a lot like me at first, except perhaps a bit more innocent." He let out a light guffaw at the idea of Morgana being innocent. "She was close to me, Merlin. I loved her as a sister. I wanted that back more than anything. And then Mordred...I suppose his anger was my fault-"

Merlin suddenly interjected, "It was not your fault, Arthur. He shouldn't have gone running to Morgana no matter how he felt. He didn't give you a second chance. And you had all the right reasons for killing that girl. She had threatened your life and Camelot, and it was not an unjust decision. It was Mordred's fault for not realizing this." Arthur gave him a pointed, almost angry look and continued as if he hadn't heard him,

"I loved Mordred too, like a little brother. So to answer your question, Merlin, I loved all three of them and I wanted the versions of them that loved me back. I missed them as I had known and trusted them," he finished proudly. He fell silent then and they remained silent until night fell and they stopped to rest.

As they turned over and settled into their sleeping bags and blankets, the horses safely tied and watered, and the pair with full bellies, Merlin yawned and rolled over. He put one hand out to stretch and it jammed in Arthur's face.

"_Mer_lin!" he yelped, annoyed.

"Sorry…" the other grumbled, turning over to fall asleep. Regardless of the pain Arthur felt in his right eye from being accidentally poked, he still felt safer sleeping as close to Merlin as possible. He didn't find the intimacy strange, Merlin knew him too well for that, and vice versa. Merlin felt Arthur shifting next to him and just tried to sync his breathing with Arthur's to induce sleep. Their breathing slowed together and slowly they fell asleep in the dark forest…

Merlin's dreams were immediately and rudely interrupted by Freya's face.

"Freya, what is it?" he asked impatiently. She looked troubled. "Is everything all right?" he added, his voice softer. She didn't appear to be able to hear him. She looked scared now. She was calling out to him, whispering his name over and over, like it comforted her, but also like she was looking for him. She was lost.

_"Merlin?"_


	5. Chapter 5

**A chapter with a LOT of angst. Have fun with this. Thanks again for all the support, I really appreciate it! Please review if you can. I do not own Merlin. :) **

Merlin slowly opened his eyes and stared at the sky through the trees. He was saddened to see that it was a lot harder to see the stars now. He hadn't noticed that before. The sky was darker than it should have been, there should have been many more stars and constellations, but Merlin noticed significant gaps. He wanted the stars to come back. Slowly he drew a breath and then blew in the direction of the stars, his eyes glowing brilliant gold as he exhaled silver stars. They flew up to the dark night sky and created a small constellation that made him smile. It was the crest of Camelot.

After feeling as though he'd woken up sufficiently, he turned over to wake Arthur. He sat up and put a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. "Arthur," he whispered, "We have to get up." Arthur just groaned and swatted his hand away weakly.

"Arthur, it's important." Arthur cracked open an eye to look at him and then complained,

"It's the middle of the night, we'll get back tomorrow, let me sleep." He rolled over and ignored Merlin's persistent attempts to wake him up. Merlin finally got so frustrated that he grabbed his friend by the front of his shirt, pulled him up to look him in the eye and growled,

"I think Freya's in trouble. You need to come_ now_, or I'm leaving you behind. Now get up you lazy _ass_." He didn't really mean it, he'd make Arthur come some way or another, but he knew it was a better way to make Arthur come willingly. Arthur's eyes widened at Merlin's words and he sat up, rubbing his eyes.

"You should've just said so, I know you care about Freya," he mumbled like a child caught in wrongdoing. They dressed quickly and Merlin gathered everything up with his magic, not caring what Arthur thought about it. Generally, he tried not to use magic around Arthur since it was still slightly new to him and never ceased to surprise and slightly terrify him, but Merlin was upset with him for not listening to him. He wasn't quite sure why, since Arthur was an independent and rebellious soul and didn't like to listen to Merlin unless he had a good reason to. To be fair to Arthur, though, he had been listening quite a bit more since he'd come out of Avalon.

Arthur took Merlin's silence as annoyance or anger and decided to try and break it. He hated it when he was mad at Merlin or vice versa, in this case. They rode very quickly and it made matters worse that Merlin had suggested summoning Aithusa and Arthur firmly told him 'No'. Arthur rode to catch up with Merlin and rode alongside him.

"Merlin." No answer. "Don't ignore me. You know I hate it. I never know what you're thinking and that bugs me."

"Well, God forbid I annoy you, Princess," Merlin snapped sardonically. Arthur raised an eyebrow. Gwaine used to call him 'Princess' and he couldn't say it was a nickname he was particularly fond of. He decided to fight fire with fire.

"Aw, you think I'm a Princess? How kind."

"I was talking to the horse."

"So what does that make me?"

"The back of the horse."

"That's not very nice."

"I'm not feeling very nice. I don't know what's wrong with Freya and thanks to you, we might never find out!"

"Merlin, I am very uncomfortable on the dragon."

"Dragons aren't meant to be comfortable."

"That's not what I meant. I mean she kind of wants to kill me and stretch my intestines out until they wrap around the planet and then pluck out my eyeballs and use them as berries for her pancakes made of my flesh." There was a moment of silence before Arthur heard a small chuckle come out of Merlin.

"That's a pretty accurate summary of her thoughts towards you."

"How do you know that?"

Merlin smirked, "After you told her about Morgana, she gave me a lovely insight into her mind as to how exactly she plans to kill you when she gets the chance. It wasn't pretty and I'd say your description is pretty close to that." Arthur blanched slightly.

"What do you mean 'when'?"

"I dunno. I'm in a pretty bad mood." Merlin glanced at Arthur's expression and snorted, "Oh please, I was kidding. Come on, Arthur, you know me."

"Do I?" Arthur joked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Did I neglect to inform you that you're an ass, Arthur Pendragon?"

"No, Merlin. No you did not," Arthur chortled.

The playful banter continued mostly through the night as they rode back into town. They reached it at about the crack of dawn and Merlin quickly returned the horses with a note because the owner wasn't awake yet. They were still fairly far from the lake of Avalon, so Merlin grabbed Arthur by the arm and pulled him on to a bus that took them very close to the lake.

While they were on the bus, Merlin glanced at Arthur to make sure he was alright and almost laughed when he saw his face. They'd mostly walked around town, not using any type of new transportation that Arthur wasn't used to. This restricted them to walking and riding horses. So when he looked at Arthur's face, he saw a man who looked like a deer in the headlights. He was breathing very quickly and his eyes were wide and darting around to look out the windows.

"Merlin," he whispered, his voice tense, "What the hell...why is it vibrating? It's a giant carriage and there's so much room, but there's no horse. It's going so fast. Is it magic?" Merlin patted him on the shoulder and said simply,

"Later. Let's take care of Freya first." He thought for a minute and when they were almost there, he turned to him again and said quickly, "And for the record, it's not magic. I'm still special here." He smiled and winked at him before grabbing him by the arm again to pull him off the bus.

((()))

"Never again," Arthur said, his voice shaking and his eyes still wide and scared, "Never ever again." Merlin looked at him with little sympathy,

"Sorry, friend, if you're going to live in this time period then you're going to have to learn to like the bus unless you want to walk out of your shoes."

"I didn't want to be here, remember?" Arthur mumbled.

"Ah yes," Merlin said, being slightly sassy, "Neither did I and yet here we are. Stuck. So get over it." Arthur scowled at him, but Merlin didn't care. They reached the edge of the lake and Merlin glanced around before whispering,

"**Partis ceeyeta asquiea.**" The water didn't seem to change, but Merlin grabbed Arthur by the sleeve and thrust him in front of him. Arthur stumbled at first, but found himself standing on top of the water.

"What did you-?"

"Arthur, run, go. I'm right behind you. We need to get to Freya." Arthur turned around and started jogging towards the island in the center of the lake. Merlin pushed him from behind to make him go faster and then ran around and passed him. Arthur scowled again and ran faster to catch up with him.

They arrived a few minutes later at the lake, both panting heavily.

"How big is that...bloody lake….Merlin?" Arthur demanded to know between gasps. Merlin didn't answer, but was very tempted to say a very clever but inappropriate answer.

Merlin knelt by the lakeside, whispering incantations to summon Freya. She didn't appear immediately and this greatly worried him. Arthur squatted next to him, reaching down to twirl his own finger in the water, when he touched the water and withdrew it immediately, holding his hand.

"Merlin, look at the water," he hissed, "Look where I touched it." He was holding his finger as if it was injured, but didn't seem to notice it otherwise. Where he had touched the surface, the water turned gold and the gold rippled away from the central point. Merlin's eyes widened.

"That's not supposed to happen…" he said quietly. Arthur gave a tut and replied,

'Yeah, that's why I showed you. What does that mean?" Merlin frowned in thought.

"I don't...I don't know….I mean, I have a vague idea of what it _could_ be, but nothing for certain…" Arthur smacked him backside the head lightly. Merlin gave him a resentful look.

"What is your 'vague idea', _Mer_lin, it might be important. Besides, it burned my finger. I'd rather it didn't incinerate me when we try to cross again."

"Don't rush me, I'm thinking. It might be and probably is related to Freya's disappearance," he snapped, "You're being a prat, knock it off." That shut Arthur up for about two minutes before he started to bug him again. Merlin shut out the suggestions Arthur was throwing at him. He was just trying to help, but he didn't know much at all about magic. Merlin did and he had lived for a thousand years longer. He had seen many things.

The only thing this could compare to was a memory from not too long after the fall of Camelot. A druid girl was mourning the death of her younger sister. She had been killed running away from the barbarians who overrun the kingdom after Gwen died, shot in the back of the head. Merlin kept in the shadows, not wanting to be found. He did not want to get into druid affairs again, not after what happened with Mordred. He watched silently as the girl's cries quieted to whimpers and they were kneeling by the same lake they were at now. The younger sister was not yet dead, but seconds from it and when her eyes fluttered closed and she started to fade, the older girl holding her whispered a nearly inaudible incantation and her sister's eyes fluttered open again. It only gained her about five more minutes, but her hand slipped, skimming the top of the water, and as her pointer finger brushed it, gold sparks flew from the water where her finger had touched it. She let out a small gasp before she fell back into death's grasp again. Merlin had been greatly saddened by this, but the golden sparks were never clear to him. He had never seen it before or since, until just now. But Arthur wasn't dying, right?

Upon this thought, Merlin's gaze snapped to Arthur's. "You're not dying, right? You feel okay?" Arthur looked surprised and answered, upon giving him a confused look,

"Not that I'm aware…" Merlin frowned. That wasn't good enough. He had to make sure.

"Arthur, come here."

"No, Merlin, what? Why?" Merlin grabbed Arthur's temples with the tips of his fingers like he had back in Camelot, but instead of looking for his memories and desires of Camelot, he looked for any sign that Arthur was unwell. Arthur shuddered as Merlin searched, figurative fingers picking through and looking for any health flaws. He finished, satisfied that he was healthy, physically at least. When he finished and opened his eyes, he saw that both of them had had their eyes closed and in the absence of sight, had pressed their foreheads together and Arthur's hands were gripping Merlin's wrists as his fingers were pressed against Arthur's temples.

Merlin opened his eyes first and saw how close they were and slowly pulled his head back. Arthur looked concentrated like he had in Camelot. He slowly released Arthur's temples and asked slowly, "Arthur...what are you doing?" Arthur slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Merlin and released his grip on Merlin's wrists.

"Nothing, I thought you were...looking for...what were you looking for?"

Merlin cocked an eyebrow. "Why? Something you're trying to hide?" Arthur looked embarrassed.

"No. I mean...probably some old memories with...Guinevere…" he mumbled a lame response. Merlin was not convinced.

"Arthur, I really have no interest in seeing _that_. That is definitely not what I was looking for."

Arthur nodded, trying to regain his composure and pride. "Of course not, I didn't think...erm…" Merlin smirked at him, still curious as to what Arthur was trying to hide. He elbowed Arthur hard but playfully.

"Don't worry about it!" His humor quickly faded when Arthur yelped when Merlin shoved him. Arthur pulled in a hand to his chest and glared at Merlin. Arthur was cradling a red throbbing hand.

"Merlin!" he shouted. Merlin winced before apologizing and looking at the water again. Now there was a lot more gold, from Arthur's full hand being submerged in the water. It appeared that when he'd shoved him, Arthur had put a hand out to catch his fall and thrust it into the water instead. Merlin whispered a quick incantation and put a hand above the golden pieces of water. He made movements with his hands like he was rolling something into a ball and the water obeyed, becoming a golden orb, suspended between his two hands.

"Look," he whispered quietly. Arthur glanced over after pouting over his hand and his eyes widened.

"I'm going to pretend this isn't surprising to me because honestly, I don't know how on earth by this point I can still be surprised." Merlin looked at him sideways and shushed him. Arthur frowned and poked him, telling him not to shush him or so help him he would-

"Arthur. Shut up. I'm thinking." Arthur snorted and mumbled,

"Don't hurt yourself." Merlin rolled his eyes. All these years and he still felt the need to be sarcastic when it was important.

"Freya?" Merlin whispered, ignoring Arthur behind him, and not knowing what else to do. "Freya, are you there?" He heard a tiny squeak come from the orb and his face brightened when Freya's shimmering face appeared in the golden water. She looked frightened and confused, as she had when she tried to contact him for help.

"Merlin? I don't know where I am," she whispered, looking around. Arthur seemed a tad surprised at Freya's appearance, never having laid eyes on the Bastet girl before.

"She's quite pretty, Merlin," he comented. Merlin gritted his teeth and elbowed him,

"Not now, Arthur, seriously!"

"Sorry." Freya ignored Arthur at first, but then she looked at him again and commented slyly and a tad bitterly,

"So this is the one, yes?" Merlin wanted to cross his arms, but he didn't want to drop the orb and lose Freya again.

"Yes. Surprising, isn't it?"

"Quite."

"Hey! I thought this was important,_ Mer_lin," Arthur interrupted.

"It is. Freya, what happened?"

"I don't….I don't really know to be honest," she glanced around again, as if looking for something or someone. She leaned in and whispered to Merlin and Arthur, like someone might hear, "I think I'm not alone here. I've been alone in this lake for years. Save for the Shi, but I never talk to them. And I don't interact with the dead unless it's a dire emergency. But no being can enter the lake without my permission. It repels them. That's why no one comes near here most of the time; their subconscious warns them away. This is a sacred place, Merlin." He took all this in for a minute before replying quietly,

"So why are you not alone?" She shook her head fearfully. She had no idea what happened.

"I've been moved here to this kind of water for some reason and this is the only place I am visible to others, like you, and there is someone else doing this to me. I don't know who, but they must be very powerful." Merlin bit his lip.

"I don't know anyone powerful enough to control this entire lake, let alone the spirits in it except for me and possibly….well, possibly Morgana. But she's dead! This can't be her, it has to be someone else, and I'm certainly not doing it!"

Freya now looked more frightened and a bit….guilty, almost. When she spoke again it was barely audible.

"Yes, but wasn't Arthur supposed to be dead until Albion needed him to save it again?" Merlin glanced back at Arthur, taking in his appearance quickly before turning back to Freya.

"Well, yeah, but maybe destiny decided to cut him a break or something-"

"It doesn't work like that, Merlin. You know more than most anyone that bringing someone back from the dead is powerful and dangerous and it can have repercussions you may not have foreseen. He brought himself back, if I was to be quite honest, his spirit was pretty dormant after he died, but after you started coming out to the island recently, I think he sensed your presence and wanted to be with you." She glanced at Arthur momentarily before continuing, "And that, if I'm not mistaken, hurried along the prophecy faster than it wanted to be hurried. You probably just changed the course of the future, Arthur Pendragon." She glared at him for a minute, not speaking any longer, giving Merlin a chance to reply.

"So...what does that mean, then? If Arthur's woken early, which is a rare thing within itself, does that mean that Albion is in danger now?" Merlin was struggling to understand what this could mean. Could Arthur have accidentally caused a huge danger to Albion because of_ him_?

Freya nodded. "It said he would rise a second time when Albion needed him most. Unfortunately, I'm afraid that means now. So I don't know who's doing this, but I have a hunch." Merlin nodded for her to go on, and behind him Arthur looked mortified. "You know the rule about bringing someone back, yes? By bringing someone back from the dead, you must give a life back. I don't know who the spirits may have taken, unless you know, but Arthur's rising, I think, has caused a bit more of a stir. So when I say I'm not alone, I think I'm surrounded by-"

"Spirits," finished Merlin, "Spirits of Camelot? Or evil spirits? Or both?" Freya shook her head for the fifth time.

"I don't know, Merlin, or I would tell you. I would not be surprised if it was evil spirits, like Morgana or Mordred-"

"Mordred was not evil," Arthur interrupted, "He was misled and blinded by revenge." Merlin looked at him in disbelief.

"How can you say that? He killed you!" Merlin cried in disbelief. Arthur's gaze was steady and sure,

"He was angry with me."

"I get angry with you and I haven't tried to kill you! At least not yet…" Merlin replied with annoyance and hurt in his tone. Why was Arthur defending him?

"I was wrong to kill that girl he was so fond of and-"

"Arthur, _she_ tried to kill you _and_ you gave her a second chance."

"I knew it was hurting him."

"_Arthur_!-"

"Boys!" Freya raised her voice. She suddenly looked scared again, as if she might have woken a beast. For all Merlin knew, she could have. They both looked at her, glowering at each other for a moment more before Merlin turned his attention back to her. "You can't fight now," she sounded scared again, her voice light but also passionate, "You're our only hope for finding out what this is and if you can put aside your stupid disagreements over someone who shouldn't matter anymore, we might live through this. All. Of. Us." She spoke clearly, looking at both of them until they flushed red with guilt.

They mumbled their apologies and she sounded satisfied when she informed them, "As I was saying before, I really do believe this could have awoken ancient spirits that we would not like to see again. I don't know how to stop it. Hence, Arthur is the one in the prophecy meant to save Albion a second time." Merlin glanced sideways at Arthur, who was staring at Freya, his face a look of concentration.

"But how on earth…?"

"I don't know!" she yelped, looking as though she was about to pull her own hair out, "I told you I don't know! I don't!"

"Freya, calm down," Merlin said warily. Freya was not easily upset by much. Arthur tended to put her on edge quite a bit, though, so maybe that was it. "Are you alone now?"

"Probably not."

"So they can hear what we're saying?"

"I don't know who 'they' are, but I suppose."

"So what are they going to do about it?" That silenced Freya for a good minute.

"That is an excellent question, Merlin," she answered finally, her voice so light you would think that if she raised it the slightest bit, the world would end. They got their answer soon enough.

Freya vanished.

"Freya!" Merlin cried out, "Freya, no! Come back!" He shook the orb before letting it shatter to pieces by accidentally dropping it. He jumped to his feet and looked at Arthur frantically.

"We need her, Arthur! We need her back! Touch the water!" Arthur looked taken aback. Merlin would never ask him to injure himself on purpose unless it was life or death. This was scaring him slightly. He approached his friend slowly and grabbed his arm so he didn't do anything spontaneously stupid.

"Merlin, calm down. We'll find her. Freya will be okay, I pr-" Merlin turned on him, wild eyed. He looked down at Arthur's hand on his arm and yelled,

"You promise what? You can promise me personally that she is perfectly okay? What if Morgana's down there and she heard everything? What if Mordred is? Or your father? Or someone else we don't want coming back from the dead?" Arthur's expression turned to hurt. His father may have been wrong about many things (many, many things), but he was still his dad and he loved him.

"Merlin, you don't know what you're sa-"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT? Arthur Pendragon, let go right now! I don't want to hurt you and she needs to come back! I need her to come back! You're the reason she's gone!" Arthur's grip on Merlin's arm just tightened as he replied patiently,

"You don't mean that. I know you don't mean that. The Merlin I know wouldn't-"

"I am no longer the Merlin you know! I am not yours! I've changed, Arthur! It's time for you to realize that!" Merlin put a finger to Arthur's hand holding him and where the tip of Merlin's finger touched Arthur's hand, it felt like a white-hot iron rod.

"Merlin!" Arthur yelled, jumping back. He then rushed his friend, grabbing him around the neck with both arms from behind and wrestling him to the ground. Arthur was laying on his back below Merlin, who's legs were flailing in the air and his back was rested against Arthur's chest. Merlin struggled hard and Arthur tried to wrap his legs around Merlin's so that he couldn't flail his legs anymore.

"Can't you see what you're doing? Stop it, Merlin, stop! STOP!" Merlin did not stop and instead released magic as he yelled, causing himself to fly out of Arthur's grip and Arthur to fly backwards and nearly hit his head on a rock too hard to spare him. Arthur's vision went blurry when his head hit the ground hard and he tried to stand up. His legs would not obey him and Merlin's back was to him. His hands were up towards the sky. He started shouting incantations at the top of his lungs. What was he doing?

Arthur's fear heightened when the sky turned dark and the lake started swirling and waves lapped at the shore of the island, threatening to pull Arthur off the island. Every time water hit him, it burned his skin like acid and Arthur tried not to cry out in agony as the waves relentlessly attacked him. What the hell was Merlin doing? Arthur crawled towards the center of the island, desperate to escape the rain and waves that were dissolving his skin and he made his way towards Merlin. When he reached him, on the verge of passing out, Arthur cried out, "Merlin, stop! It hurts, Merlin! Merlin, you're hurting me!" He punctuated each word to make sure Merlin could hear those last four words. When Merlin glanced down at him, he thought he saw his eyes were just black holes, nothing in them but darkness. This soon disappeared as his expression changed from one of rage and hatred to one of guilt and dreadful concern.

He seemed to recognize what he was doing and lowered his hands quickly, no longer spouting the incantations, and he looked at his own hands. They were shaking. He looked at Arthur and back to himself and said shakily, "No...what….what have I done?" Arthur fainted, his legs buckling and his limbs just failing him. Merlin caught him quickly, trying to shelter him from the rain he had created that burned Arthur like acid. His friend was definitely still alive, but Merlin feared much longer in the rain and he would be dead. He cried out for the wind and the rain and the lake to stop and stand still and after a few more minutes of mockery, it did. Guilty tears rolled down his face as he called Arthur's name. He couldn't lose him again, not after losing him once and not at his own hand. It would kill him, surely.

"Why?" he cried out in agony after the rain stopped. Arthur was okay, after Merlin had quickly spouted some healing spells to calm the burns, but he was still unconscious. "Why have you chosen us? You could have chosen anyone else! Why me? I don't want to….I can't do this anymore! Can't you see it's killing us? You can't make me!" he shouted at the sky. The sky did not answer save for a rumbling noise that went with the receding thunder. He held Arthur close to him, waiting for something, anything to happen. He had lost Freya already, and he did not want to lose Arthur. His eyes were slightly teary so his vision was blurred, but he glanced over to his side where he heard a small splash. He shook his head quickly to clear his vision and was in utter disbelief at what he saw. So he had been successful in doing what he had been trying to do during his crazed rant. It was almost like he had been possessed. In his right mind, he would never have attempted to do this, knowing what great unbalance it caused.

He had raised someone from the dead. Someone very important to him and someone he thought was gone forever now.

Freya stood in front of him, her dress dripping wet, as was her black curly hair. And she looked absolutely furious. She saw Arthur and reprimanded harshly,

"Oh,_ Mer_lin!"


	6. Chapter 6

**I apologize for the length in advance, it's nearly twice as long as the other chapters. D: But to make up for it, I think you'll all really enjoy this chapter. For reals though. Let me know what you think by reviewing if you can! Thanks! I don't own Merlin. **

"Oh no, Freya," Merlin started, the lump in his throat preventing him from saying anymore. He slumped, loosening his grip on Arthur slightly. Arthur just flopped to the side. Her angry expression instantly changed to one of sympathy. She walked to him and knelt next to him, positioning her feet under her legs. She put a hand on his face softly, stroking his cheek with one finger.  
"What have I done?" he asked, horrified, after a minute. Freya's expression turned serious as she answered him quietly,

"You brought me back from the dead. And no one's meant to do that, especially not for me. I'm the Lady of the Lake, I should be...well, in the lake. I'm afraid you've just made things worse, Merlin, I'm sorry. There's no use in me lying to you about it." Merlin held up a hand.

"We'll worry about that later. Can you...fix him? I can't seem to focus on my healing spells right now. I don't know what's wrong with me," Merlin asked, his voice cracking. He was incredibly fragile at the moment and Freya recognized that easily.

"Of course," she replied kindly. With Merlin's attempts to heal him, the burns had healed, but not gone away, leaving angry pink scars where the water had touched him, and he was still heavily unconscious. Freya laid a delicate hand on Arthur's forehead, whispering,

"**Plinay cawarwah unthes**." Her eyes glowed gold for a moment before they turned back to brown and Merlin heard Arthur take a deep shuddering breath. He did not question that she should be able to use magic, seeing as she had nearly as much knowledge as Merlin and was able to perform a fair amount of magic, having picked it up from different sources over the years. As he heard Arthur's breathing even out, as it had been ragged for the past few minutes, a rush of old affection came over him for Freya. Those feelings were long gone, as he just thought of her as a good friend now, but the rush of emotion overwhelmed him.

Leaning over Arthur, Merlin brought a hand to Freya's chin quickly and tilted her head towards his. He kissed her gently and she responded more than he thought she would. So her feelings, at least, were still there. This could only mean trouble. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeper and he just let her lead. This went on for a solid two minutes before they heard a grunt below them and an annoyed voice.

"Merlin, what are you doing?" Upon hearing this, they sprang apart quickly, Merlin wiping his lips with the back of his hand and Freya looking slightly hurt at him doing so. He gave her an apologetic look as he looked down at Arthur.

"Welcome back, buddy!" he tried, to clear the awkward moment. It didn't work. Arthur looked annoyed, or even angry as he sat up quickly. He shoved Merlin in the chest and replied,

"Yeah, no thanks to you. What the hell were you thinking, raining down on me? I could've died! When I get through with you, you'll have to breathe through your bellybutton! Do you have any idea-?" Merlin placed a hand on Arthur's mouth.

"Shut. Up." Arthur swatted his hand away, scowling at the still grinning Merlin and wondered if he was going to kiss him too. He waited for a moment. Apparently not. So Arthur stood. He pointed at Freya.

"So what _exactly_ is she doing here?" Merlin suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Imayhaveaccidentallyraisedherfromthedead," Merlin mumbled quickly before clearing his throat. Arthur heard him and looked at Freya, almost as if sizing her up.

"Okay. Um….were we not just discussing the consequences of raising people from the dead? Specifically from this lake?" he inquired. Both Merlin and Freya nodded. "So why did you do that then?" Merlin bit his lip as he tried to remember.

"Well...I knew I had to save her from the spirits in the lake but….after she disappeared, I don't remember what happened. Honestly." Arthur remembered the blackness of his eyes and his sudden crazy rant.

"Could the spirits have gotten into your head?" he suggested casually, shrugging as he did so. Merlin narrowed his eyes.

"I suppose...why do you ask?"

"No reason," Arthur shrugged again.

"You're lying."

"Am not."

"Yeah, you are. Really bad liar, sorry Arthur," Freya interjected. Arthur shot her a glare that may or may not have had two meanings and then looked back at Merlin. Arthur sighed and pointed to his eyes.

"You may have had uh...well some….you know….your eyes were like...black pits of doom so I was just wondering if that was...important or anything," he said awkwardly. Merlin's eyes widened. He glanced down at the lake nervously as if it might eat him.

"Seriously?" Arthur glanced to the side and then back at him.

"….Yeah."

"Well then, yes, Arthur, to answer your question, I was probably being possessed by something. Fantastic," he finished bitterly. Both Arthur and Merlin glanced around as if the spirits were going to possess them from behind.

"If it makes you feel better," Freya said loudly, "They can only possess you at a moment of emotional weakness."

Arthur scoffed, "That helps a ton, thanks Freya."

"No need to get snippy with her, Arthur, she didn't do anything wrong," Merlin said, defending her.

"I wasn't being _snippy_, I was just saying that-"

"Shut up."

"….Excuse me?" Arthur asked, affronted by Merlin's words.

"No, seriously. Shut up. I can hear something." The three got closer together as Merlin listened to the sound of water lightly slapping the shore. But there was something else too….

Suddenly the island rumbled and shook slightly. Merlin winced and the trio looked around to see what had caused the disturbance. The only direction none of them checked was, by Murphy's law, behind them, which is exactly where they should have been looking. It started with two figures emerging from the water. But then two more followed them. And three more.

Merlin whipped around at the first sound of water dripping on grass. Freya and Arthur turned around soon after him and gasped at what they saw. There, standing in front of them, were Gwen, Gaius, Gwaine, Leon, Percival, Elion, and Lancelot. Arthur's jaw nearly dropped and Freya just looked slightly bewildered. Merlin looked torn between happiness and confusion and fear. All of their friends looked the same as they had when Arthur had left them, which was strange. Merlin knew that Gwen, Percival, and Leon should have looked at least twice their age since they died at older ages. It was understandable for Elion, Lancelot and Gwaine since they died at the ages Merlin and Arthur knew them at best. Merlin was the first to speak, holding out an arm in front of Arthur in case he tried to go to them.

"How are you here?" he demanded to know with almost hostility. Immediately, they all looked hurt. No one answered. "Tell me!" Gwen looked as though she wanted to answer but shut her mouth quickly.

"Merlin…." Gaius started, looking unsure how to answer, "We don't actually know. I, at least, just sort of found myself….well, walking out of the lake. I have no conscious memory of coming here." Merlin looked at the others and they nodded at him. They seemed to have the same stories.

"Are there any more?" he asked them. They shrugged. They didn't know anything about it. Merlin lowered his arm and immediately Arthur rushed at Gwen to give her a hug. His heart gave a slight tug of something….jealousy? He wasn't sure. Whatever it was, he ignored it. He was still unsure of how to feel about all this. Could they be trusted? Were they even real or were they puppets? He stood still, not going to any of them. Gaius looked understanding, as always, but after Gwaine finished greeting Arthur, he walked over to Merlin.

"Aren't you happy to see us, Merlin?" Merlin glanced up at him.

"Of course, I just….I don't know why this is happening and-" He didn't get to finish because Gwaine pulled him into a tight hug. He froze, standing very still and not leaning into his old friend's hug. What was wrong with him? He loved Gwaine! So why couldn't he allow himself to be happy to see him? When Gwaine pulled back, he saw Merlin's uneasiness and frowned. He waved a hand in front of Merlin's face.

"Merlin, it's me. Honest. Your old buddy, Gwaine! What's wrong?" Everyone was staring at Merlin now. His face turned bright red up to his ears as he tried to answer awkwardly,

"I just...you shouldn't….I mean….it's not that I…." He hesitated to speak his mind, not wanting to offend everyone if it was really them, but also considering what would happen if they weren't really themselves. His voice caught and he choked slightly, coughing loudly to clear his airways. He couldn't do this. His hands were shaking. He was completely overwhelmed. Freya walked over and slipped her hand into his to try and comfort him and Merlin saw out of the corner of his eye, Arthur's face darkened slightly before he came over to stand next to Merlin, too. He didn't hold his hand, but he stood close to him so they were shoulder to shoulder. Just this little bit of warmth coming from his friend and the feeling of Freya's hand in his gave him the strength to try to say what he was thinking.

"It's not that I'm not happy to see all of you. Don't ever….don't ever think I wouldn't be happy to see you. I've missed….every single one of you….for so long," he paused again before adding, "But I'm being cautious. I've been so alone for thousands of years and….it's just overwhelming to see you all. It's almost...too good to be true. I don't want to let myself believe you're all back and then….and then to see that it's a trick….just a trick and….I think that would break my heart." He hung his head in shame. He had basically just told them all that he didn't trust them, didn't trust that they were real. They should just leave with Arthur and Freya and leave him on the island by himself. And he would let them.

Merlin felt them all staring at him for a moment more before something happened he didn't expect. He kept his head down so he wouldn't have to look at them, quickly wiping away any tears that rose to his eyes out of frustration, but his peripheral vision darkened as figures moved closer to him. Freya hadn't moved, but Arthur also grasped Merlin's hand tightly. He raised his head slowly to see everyone had formed a circle, a round table. Merlin was not in the middle, but rather, just another part of the circle. He finally found the courage to meet the gaze of everyone there and they all looked at him with curiosity, but also sureness. They wanted to prove to him that they were who they should be.

Arthur stepped forward into the middle first. "Merlin," he said quietly. Merlin looked at him, scared of what he might find in Arthur's eyes. Even though it hadn't technically been him who had caused him so much pain with the lake water, he still felt wholly responsible for it. "I am Arthur Pendragon, and you know I am. I know you know it. I said to you once that no man is worth your tears. So quit crying already," he joked. He walked back to where he was standing next to Merlin and slapped him on the back semi-roughly and Merlin coughed and smiled at him. Arthur smiled back, the radiant smile that Merlin knew and loved. This was his Arthur.

Freya stepped forward next. "Uh, I'm Freya. Some of you may know me as the Druid Girl or the Bastet from ages ago." She paused to give them a moment to remember. "Merlin was kind enough to give me a proper burial in this lake and for reasons still unknown to me, I became the Lady of the Lake. I am who I say I am because I can say this with confidence: I killed five people during my stay in Camelot while I was in Bastet form, I acknowledge this, and I apologize for this from the bottom of my heart. I never meant to hurt anyone. Merlin, you know this." She glanced at him before stepping back to hold his hand again.

Gwaine, Elion, Leon, Lancelot, Percival, Gwen, and Gaius all made similar testimonies to prove to Merlin that they were who they said they were. And Merlin believed them. He was laughing by the end with everyone else and he gave everyone tight hugs to reassure them that he loved and missed them dearly. Merlin approached Elion and Gwaine and said, "I can do magic." They were the only ones who didn't know and he didn't want it to just suddenly surprise them when he needed to use it. They both stared for a moment before glancing at everyone else. They all knew. Gwaine just pulled Merlin into a headlock and rubbed his knuckles against his scalp playfully. Merlin struggled while Gwaine shouted,

"Why didn't you tell me, you little monster? There was so much more we could have accomplished! So many more pranks could have been played! Damn you, Merlin!" Everyone laughed at that, including Merlin and Arthur. They failed to hear the disturbance behind them.

"What a heartwarming sight," drawled a familiar voice from behind, "Sorry to crash your party, boys and girls." Merlin froze at the sound of the voice, as did Gwaine and nearly everyone else. Merlin was still under Gwaine's arm and he quickly released himself. He rushed to the front to get a good look at the intruder and raised his arms in defense of everyone behind him.

"Hello Morgana," he hissed, his teeth gritted, "Oh good, looks like you brought your little backup, Mordred. Surprised you didn't bring Morgause or Nimeuh, I have to say." Morgana scowled at him.

"They weren't interested, _Emrys_. They knew I would do an excellent job of finishing you all off myself. Although, I have to say I am quite surprised to be here. I've been dead so long, I didn't think there was any hope of revenge." Mordred scowled at Arthur and Merlin, but looked almost torn when he looked at the rest of the knights.

"Leave us alone, Morgana. There's nothing for you to accomplish here."

She laughed, "And miss all the fun? Not for the world, Emrys, not for the world." At that, she thrust her hands forward to blast them all off their feet. Merlin bounced back the fastest and rushed at Morgana. Mordred threw a spell at him, but missed and Merlin grabbed Morgana's wrists, holding them away from him. She struggled, looking almost fearful of him, but also determined to beat him. Mordred had to deal with the rest of the knights, who had tackled him to the floor. He tried using magic to get himself out, but every time he got them to release him, they just got up and tackled him again.

Merlin whispered, "**Blankhousa himiday knaua**" and a long strand of rope appeared. Morgana struggled harder, knocking him away, but was not expecting an attack from behind. Both Guinevere and Gaius caught her when she fell back from knocking Merlin away and held her as tightly as they could. Her eyes were cold with hatred as she struggled against them and Merlin quickly bound her with the rope. The minute she tried to burn it away or undo it with magic, Merlin quickly whispered another spell and she cringed in pain.

"The more you struggle, the more it will hurt you. And it inhibits your magic. So don't try anything," Merlin told her. She looked fearful again.

"I used to be your friend, Merlin!" She used his real name for the first time in a very long time.

"Yes. And you left that behind when you turned on Arthur and Camelot. I am loyal to him first. Don't think you can appeal to my humanity, Morgana. It. Won't. Work. On me," he hissed before going to help the knights with Mordred. Merlin pulled Gwaine off of him, who looked the most upset, and told him,

"You watch Morgana while I deal with Mordred." Gwaine nodded solemnly before marching over to Morgana. He looked as though he was resisting the urge to kick her. Merlin quickly subdued Mordred the same way he had Morgana and the two looked very tired.

"It's very different fighting us when it's just the two of you, isn't it?" Merlin asked them. They did not answer, but Mordred spit at Merlin. Gwaine yelled, "Hey!" before trying to go over to Mordred to hurt him, presumably. Percival held him back. Merlin's voice softened.

"Gwaine, stop it." Gwaine looked furious, but he obeyed, pulling his arm out of Percival's grip. "Look, Morgana, Mordred. I never wanted to hurt either of you. But you both gave me good reason to." Mordred looked furious as if Merlin was being unfair, but he said nothing. "I'm giving you a chance, one chance mind you, to be the way you used to. We all loved you both, but you betrayed us. Don't pretend that was our fault. It was your decision. But I, at least, am willing to give you both another chance." Neither of the prisoners said anything. "If you don't," Merlin warned, "I will send you back into the Lake so you can never return. You will go back to the world of the dead, never to return here." He looked around at his companions. They all looked shocked. Arthur walked up and put a hand on Merlin's shoulder roughly.

"Come here, now. Need to talk to you." He steered Merlin away from the others and whispered to him, "You can't just do that. It's my decision as well as yours and everyone else's. They all have to agree, Merlin, that's not fair." Merlin raised an eyebrow.

"I thought this is what you wanted. Don't you want the old sweet Morgana back? The little brother you never had back?" Arthur hissed in dissatisfaction.

"Yes, but they're not _coming_ back, Merlin. It's too late for that now. Come on, I always listen to you. 'S time you listened to me for once. Just send them away." Merlin's gaze held steady with his.

"I can't do that, Arthur." Merlin walked back to the others, but Arthur caught him just before he reached them.

"You are not in charge just because you have magic and the others don't. Round table, remember? Everyone's equal." Merlin's eyes widened. Arthur was right. He scowled slightly before pulling everyone into a group huddle.

"Uh okay. I'm sorry I didn't consult you guys first on this, so….what do you think? Should we give them a second chance?"

"Merlin, are you nuts?" Elion voiced, "We can't trust them!"

"Well, they wouldn't be totally free. I'd be keeping a close eye on them. And I know they don't really deserve a second chance, but -"

"Merlin, they tried to kill all of us, numerous times. They almost succeeded in killing you and they did succeed in killing me and Gwaine and Elion!" Arthur hissed.

"I know, but…" Merlin tried desperately, "I feel like it's unfair to at least not offer them one."

"That's true," voiced Gwen, "I think Morgana, at least, would appreciate the second chance. I know her, or, I did, rather. I truly think she hates us partly because she thinks we didn't love her. Maybe this would give her a change of heart."

"I don't know," Gwaine pitched in uncertainly, "I never really knew Morgana when she was still on our side, but Mordred...he was just upset because Arthur did his duty. I'm not sure he would rest without revenge. But I do miss him as a brother. I do." He glanced around at the others. Leon, Percival, and Elion nodded. Lancelot was just quiet and thoughtful.

"I believe they were both just misled," Gaius said slowly, "Maybe it is kind to at least offer it to them. They may not even take it."

"Are you all insane?" Arthur hissed again, "This is madness. We've lost them and that's that."

"Arthur," Merlin warned, looking surprised, "You are one of the fairest people I know. Why is this so different?"

"Because," Arthur looked torn, "I trusted them once with my life. They both betrayed me. I can't forget that. I'll never be able to trust them again."

"I'm sorry, Arthur," Merlin said, "All in favor of offering them a second chance?" Everyone raised their hand except for Arthur. He scowled before raising his hand as well.

"You'd better be right about this, _Mer_lin," he growled. Merlin smiled at him and ruffled his hair affectionately. Freya looked just as unsure as Arthur, but the rest just looked a bit relieved.

"Okay, so, Mordred. Morgana. I'm offering this to you once, and once only. Will you leave behind your hatred to come be our friends again?" Merlin pleaded. Both looked slightly torn. Morgana looked more unsure than Mordred.

"You all hate me," Morgana said, her eyes burning, "Why would I do this?" Surprisingly, Gwen stepped forward.

"Morgana, we used to be best friends. You're Arthur's half-sister. We were devastated when you turned on us, we did not expect it," she said quietly, but then more boldly she continued, "I have not forgotten what you did to me. I will never forget it. But I may be able to forgive it if you give me a good reason to." Merlin glanced at Gwen. She looked determined, but also sad. She wanted her best friend back. Arthur looked incredibly conflicted. He didn't know what he wanted.

Merlin went over to him while Gwen and Morgana stared at each other. "I'm sorry, Arthur," he said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Maybe this is for the best, though." Arthur looked at him without speaking and nodded, crossing his arms across his chest. Merlin sighed. He hoped Arthur would have liked this, but it was obvious his feelings were the complete opposite. Hopefully he'd come 'round.

Merlin put aside his thoughts about Arthur and turned towards Morgana and Mordred. Mordred had not moved a muscle, even though the knights were almost pleading for him to accept Merlin's offer.

"Morgana, you first," Merlin announced. Silence fell over the island and the knights retreated from Mordred's side. Morgana looked tired and defeated. Her arms were shaking. It was pitiful.

"I-" she started. She glanced at Mordred, who looked at her, but said nothing. "I will do as you ask, Merlin." She bowed her head. Mordred looked surprised and Merlin walked over to her and gently removed her bonds.

"I will be keeping a close eye on you, so don't think you can get away with anything," he said firmly. He placed a thin metal bracelet around her wrist that tightened until it was perfectly fit around her wrist, but not too tight at all.

"This will inhibit your magic until you show me that you've really changed." All her arrogance was gone. Merlin was very surprised as she simply looked at him and nodded like a dog that had just been chained to a post. Merlin's heart tugged very slightly. He knew what it was like not to be able to use magic, but it was a necessary precaution. He had seen what she was capable of and no matter what, he did not trust her yet. He gently put a hand behind her back to guide her towards Gwen and she flinched.

"Gwen, can I trust you to care for her a bit? I think she'll need some TLC."

"Some what?"

"Tender loving care."

"Okay Merlin," she giggled. She put a hand on Morgana's arm, partly to comfort her and partly to keep her from surprising her in case she jumped or tried to run. Morgana just stood still, rubbing the bracelet on her wrist and watching Mordred.

"Mordred?" Merlin asked. He looked up, and still looked angry. Arthur didn't look at Mordred, but the other knights looked sad and worried.

"Yes Emrys?" he sneered.

"Who's Emrys?" Gwaine mumbled. Gaius pointed to Merlin. Gwaine nodded and then focused on Mordred.

"You killed her," Mordred said suddenly, looking at Arthur, his eyes burning into the blonde's. Arthur bowed his head before looking up again.

"Yes. She was a threat, Mordred, and I'm sorry, but-"

"A threat to whom?"

"A threat to me and Camelot. She tried to kill me." Evidently Mordred hadn't realized this because his eyebrows raised slightly, but he stood his ground.

"And I succeeded," he hissed, "Morgana was right before she turned all soft on us. Camelot was better without the Pendragons."

"How could you possibly know that?" Arthur asked him, "You were gone before you would have known that kingdom. And guess what? After the Pendragons died out, Camelot fell. So evidently, Camelot was better with the Pendragons, thank you." Mordred looked at Morgana for support. She did not look at him.

"Alright. So say I do take you up on this offer, what then?"

Merlin cut in, "I inhibit your magic like Morgana's until you prove to me you're not a threat."

"What kind of life is that?" Mordred asked, "You know what it's like to not be able to use magic, Emrys!"

"Yes, but it's for the safety of others. So if you care about that, you'll wear it. If you don't, you leave." Mordred scowled at them. He didn't want to die again. Not yet.

"Fine," he spat, "Do it. But don't think I'll believe that you all still care about me." Merlin cut his bonds with a slightly rougher hand than with Morgana's and placed the inhibitor bracelet on his wrist. Mordred scowled at him, but took a deep breath and sighed. Merlin guided Mordred to the knights.

"Think you can handle him?" he asked them. Percival and Leon smiled and nodded. Gwaine and Elion looked suspicious but nodded as well. Lancelot walked up to him and introduced himself. Mordred gave him a tight smile.

This should be fun.

((()))

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. It had now been a year since Arthur's arrival and six months since everyone else's. Arthur's mood had gotten increasingly better as time went on. He grew to accept Morgana and Mordred back into his life and they grew better-natured as time went on. Gwen coaxed Morgana into talking again and soon enough she was talking regularly with everyone. She tended to keep it polite and professional with most, but with Gwen around she opened up more. Arthur and the knights went shopping, which was a very fun affair because every teenage girl a mile around flocked to see them. Being good looking males that they were, they were flattered, but also tried to avoid the attention. It made them a tad uncomfortable. Except for Gwaine.

Gwaine was the biggest flirt of them all and sometimes Percival would join him. Arthur ended up pulling them away by the scruffs of their shirts a lot of the time, but it made everyone else laugh. The first time this happened, Merlin told them specifically,

"You guys, seriously, it's frowned upon in modern society for men in their late-20s to be flirting with girls in their mid to late teens. If you need female companionship so badly, go find someone your own age." Gwaine and Percival nodded seriously to humor him, but they continued to flirt with any girls who approached them. They did, however, put a limit on it and never went any further than flirting. Merlin had to put an enlarging spell on his cottage to make it even larger on the inside to accommodate so many people. Gaius was thrilled that Merlin had kept up the herbs and he happily busied himself with organizing them.

Gwen mostly spent time with Morgana, occasionally giving Arthur a pat on the cheek or a butterfly kiss, but their affection seemed to have faded a bit. Mordred tried to warm up to the knights, but found himself awkward and unable to talk to them like friends anymore. Gaius tried to help him, but Mordred was mostly quiet and brooding. This worried Merlin greatly, but there was nothing he could do. He had given him a chance and he had to fulfill his promise.

Merlin spent all of his time teaching his friends about the century. It was hard, at first, but eventually they caught on to most of the basics. Merlin had collected everyone's knives, swords, or other weapons and put them in a huge chest with a magical lock on it. No one needed it and if it was found on them, someone might call the police.

Arthur and Merlin hadn't had a moment to themselves since all of this happened, but Freya and Merlin did. Nothing ever happened, but it concerned Arthur greatly, for reasons unknown to Merlin. Freya explained that these people had returned because Arthur did early and they had some role to play in the second-saving of Albion. This sat at the back of Merlin's mind, but he tried not to let it worry him.

((()))

Merlin stood up at the end of his dining room table. It was rectangular because they had not been able to locate a round one big enough to fit all of them. He tapped his fork on his glass until the chatter died down.

"So. I don't know if you've all realized it yet, but today is December 23rd. The day before Christmas Eve. I'll give you all some money to get presents or whatever your plan is, but remember to be careful with it. Don't spend it all in one go because I'm not giving you more. I'm telling you right now that I do not have enough to give each of you to buy presents for everyone, so I'd like you all to pick a piece of paper from this mug. Each piece has a name on it, and whoever's name is on it is who you have to buy a present for. It's called Secret Santa."

"That's a stupid name," Gwaine interrupted. Merlin shot him a look before continuing,

"No cheating. If you get your own name, put it back in and take another and no switching! " He passed around the mug and was satisfied to see he had received Arthur's name. He looked up and handed out the pounds for each of them. They all scattered to their rooms until only Gwen and Morgana remained. Merlin had his back to them, but when he turned around, he asked,

"You okay?" They both nodded and Morgana approaching Merlin, fidgeting with the bracelet on her wrist. She had acclimated much better than Mordred had and Merlin was almost happy to see her sometimes. Almost.

"Uh, Merlin. Gwen told me I should probably thank you for giving me a second chance." Merlin smiled politely at her, not sure what she wanted. "I know I didn't deserve it, and it would have been perfectly expected for you to just kill me and Mordred both and be done with it. But you didn't. So thank you. I'm, um, I'm actually enjoying myself. There's no reason for me to be so….angry all the time anymore. It won't achieve anything, so thank you." She nodded before walking back to Gwen. Merlin raised an eyebrow. Morgana was never that humble. Merlin caught Gwen later that night and pulled her aside.

"Did you like, put a whole new personality into Morgana? She's completely different than….ever," he asked cautiously.

"I think she's just defeated and tired, Merlin. She has nothing to fight for. She knows killing Arthur or anyone else she hates won't accomplish anything anymore. I'd say you could trust her," Gwen informed him. She smiled, "Really, I think she's on our side. Not sure about Mordred to be honest, but I think she's okay." Merlin thanked her before rushing off to bed in his own room.

Arthur still slept in the same room, but he stopped curling up next to Merlin. Freya slept in the same room as them too, and she did, in fact, curl up to Merlin when he was asleep. She was asleep in his bed at the moment, her small mouth forming an 'o'. Merlin smiled in the dark and picked her up gently before setting her back down on her own bed. He knew Freya sleeping next to him made Arthur upset, and it wasn't the same as sleeping next to Arthur anyway. Merlin drifted off to sleep, considering what on earth he was going to get Arthur for Christmas….

((()))

Christmas Day arrived quickly and Merlin and Freya hastily set up decorations, them being the only ones with magic. Everyone had bought their gifts and they had decided to wait until Christmas morning to open them. Everyone woke late except for Merlin and Freya, as usual, and Merlin had breakfast prepared for them. They all sped through it and rushed to the living room to open presents.

Gwaine located his present first. It was from Percival and he smiled widely. The box shook when he approached it and Gwaine frowned for a second. He hesitated, seeing the small holes made in the sides of the box and tapped it. The package shook again.

And then it barked.

Gwaine opened it quickly, knowing now the identity of his present and was face to face with an Irish wolfhound puppy. He laughed loudly and the puppy jumped onto his chest and licked him fiercely.

"Percival, you know how big that thing is going to get, right?" Merlin warned. Percival smirked at him and said,

"Yeah. Gwaine can handle him." Merlin pointed at both of them, his mouth curling up into a smirk.

"You know you two are completely responsible for him, right?" They both nodded eagerly. Gwaine scooped up the puppy in his arms and started cooing at it, sitting farther away from everyone else so that it wouldn't disturb them. Percival joined him, not even worrying about his own present and the two played with the dog all afternoon.

Morgana had received a beautiful necklace from Leon, who she thanked profusely. Gwen received a dress from Gaius that greatly resembled her own back in Camelot. It was purple and she hugged it to herself tightly before running off to try it on. It fit perfectly and the two girls came back out wearing their gifts. Mordred had gotten a giant stuffed bear from Gwaine that spouted curse words whenever he squeezed the paw, which made the tips of Mordred's mouth curl up into a smile that turned into a laugh. This brightened everyone's spirits because Mordred hadn't smiled in a very long time. He joined Gwaine and Percival in playing with the puppy and squeezed the bear's paw whenever the dog jumped on him or licked him, sending Gwaine and Percival into laughing fits.

Leon got a watch from Elion and Elion received a good pair of boots from Gwen. As the rest of the presents were handed out, opened, and enjoyed, Merlin watched from the sidelines. He had been given a red neckerchief from Lancelot, seeing as his own had gotten lost he didn't know when. He happily tied it around his neck and smiled at Lancelot. Lancelot winked at him kindly before going off to talk to the others.

Merlin made the mistake of allowing Arthur to buy some wine to drink during the day. Gwaine naturally nicked two out of three bottles and shared them with Percival and they both drank a whole bottle by themselves. While it was weak considering what they were used to, they were now both drunk and playing with a puppy and trying to get Mordred to drink with them. He denied it, especially after seeing what it was doing to them, but he did think it was hilarious. Merlin confiscated it quickly and hid the third bottle, waving a reprimanding finger at both of them.

A drunk Gwaine swaggered up to him after handing the puppy to Mordred and put a hand on Merlin's shoulder, swaying slightly. He couldn't focus on Merlin's eyes, but he leaned in close and said, "You need to lighten up, mate." He gave him an affectionate pat to the back of the head and made his way back to Percival and Mordred. They had christened the puppy 'Bear', partly because of Mordred's present and partly because the puppy was going to grow to be the size of a bear. Gwen and Morgana were giggling at the sight of Gwaine and Percival. This surprised Merlin. He had expected that maybe Morgana would become their friend again and maybe talk to them like she used to, but never had he expected her to be almost completely the way she used to be. Not ever. Maybe the part of her that missed her old life needed to be released and Gwen's company allowed it to be so.

They stayed at the cottage all afternoon and into the evening, just enjoying each other's company and relishing in the fact that everything was perfect.

Well, almost everything.

Arthur glanced over to notice that Freya jumped up on her tiptoes to give Merlin a kiss on the cheek. He blushed furiously and didn't look at her. What he missed was that Merlin quickly walked somewhere else to be away from her. It's not that he didn't like her, just that he didn't feel that way anymore. Since Arthur missed this bit, he frowned and turned away, walking over to Gwen and Morgana.

"Merry Christmas, Morgana, Gwen," he said politely. He remembered the way he used to kiss their hand to be polite an did just that.

"Arthur, you don't have to do that anymore. Or at least do it to Gwen, not me, I'm your sister!" Morgana giggled. Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"Has she had anything to dr-"

"Yes. Yes she has," Gwen cut him off, pointing to Gwaine and Percival, "They appeared to have brought something stronger than your wine and gave her a shot of it. Now she's turned into this giggling mess!" When Gwen finished she reached over and tickled her friend, who laughed louder and was obviously a little tipsy and off her guard.

"Right," Arthur said, "Uh, see you later then." He pulled down his red jumper self-consciously and walked away. He gave Gwen a light kiss on the top of the head before he left. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Merlin watching him and his face darken. Arthur immediately felt guilty, but he didn't look at him.

((()))

Gwaine announced that they were going to have a proper twenty-first century party now that it was night and he produced from who knows where, a boom box with a single CD titled "Best of Christmas". Merlin didn't want to know where or how he'd gotten either, but he simply face-palmed.

"It'll be interesting to see what they listen to these days, eh Merlin?" Gwaine called out. Merlin chuckled slightly and gave him a thumbs up, but warned him,

"On your head be it if the neighbors get after you. They're used to peace and quiet."

"Sounds like they've outlawed FUN!" Mordred yelled loudly before he and Percival broke into another fit of laughter. Looks like they coaxed Mordred into drinking something, too. Fantastic. Merlin shook his head as if he disapproved, but he was smiling. He was glad they were all having fun.

Gwaine played the disk and immediately hard rock sounds started playing. Arthur covered his ears, but guffawed and everyone else just screamed before adjusting the volume and laughing and dancing. Gwen pulled Morgana and Freya up to dance and Percival with Gwaine and Mordred and Gaius did his own little loner dance in the back corner. Elion chuckled at seeing Gaius and pulled him in the middle with himself, Leon, and Lancelot.

"Ridiculous, isn't it?" Merlin asked, after sidling up next to Arthur. Arthur looked at him and nodded, smirking slightly.

"I'm, uh. I'm sorry for...you know, stuff." Arthur looked at him with concern.

"What for? This is great, this is….all I could have asked for," Arthur said, taking a deep breath.

"Well firstly for the whole acid rain deal, even though it wasn't technically me."

Arthur raised his eyebrows and snorted, "Yeah, that wasn't okay."

"And also for forcing Morgana and Mordred's company on us."

"I understand why you did it, Merlin. And look how it's turned out. It's fantastic. But yes, a little warning and consulting on my part would have been nice."

"Yes. So I'm sorry. I hope you're not still mad at me," Merlin gave him a sidelong glance and looked at him hopefully. Arthur stayed silent for a minute before smiling at him. He smacked the back of his head good-naturedly and answered,

"Of course I'm not. You're my best friend." Merlin grinned at him and Arthur returned it before giving him a mocking solemn look and pushed him into everyone else dancing.

"Go dance and have fun, Merlin!" he laughed. Merlin stumbled into Gwaine, who smiled at him and then saw it was Arthur who had pushed him. He grinned mischievously. Arthur seemed to realize what he was about to do right before he did it and Gwaine caught him by the arm and pulled him on to the dance floor too. It wasn't really a dance floor so much as the middle of the living room, but it sufficed.

Merlin soon found himself next to Arthur again on the side of the dance floor, both catching their breath from being thrown around and forced to jig. They laughed at each other for a moment before Gwaine swaggered over.

"Oh what do you want?" Arthur asked him sarcastically. Gwaine's mouth twisted up into a sideways smile as he pointed to something above their heads. They both looked up at the same time and Merlin looked at Gwaine in confusion.

"What is that?" He was surprised when Arthur answered,

"It's mistletoe, Merlin." He paused before snapping at Gwaine, "Don't be a prat, Gwaine, go away. We're not doing that, it's childish." Gwaine stayed silent and crossed his arms across his chest. He wasn't going anywhere. Arthur rolled his eyes and ignored Gwaine. He stood there for another couple of minutes before he rolled his own eyes and walked away.

"What was he expecting us to do?" Merlin asked.

"Uh, nothing. He's being stupid. I'll tell you later." He paused before asking, "Merlin?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you and Freya like….a thing?" Merlin blushed furiously before answering.

"No. I mean, we used to be, but not anymore."

"No interest whatsoever?"

"Nope."

"Oh."

"Why?"

"No reason."

"….Kay."

Merlin stood and Arthur sighed inwardly. He was about to walk away. Should he take this chance? No, he shouldn't.

"Merlin?"

"Mm?"

"Thanks for bringing me back." This seemed to startle Merlin. He turned back towards Arthur and walked back to where he was sitting. Arthur stood and they were practically nose to nose. Merlin didn't back away, but he was expecting Arthur to.

"Of course. I mean, it wasn't me, Freya said it was you who-" Merlin was silenced when Arthur closed the distance between them quickly and kissed him lightly. At first he was frozen, but soon Merlin's brain was lit up like a Christmas tree and his hands were shaking with adrenaline. His hands found their way around Arthur's waist and he pulled him closer. It was a warm, slow kiss, not too fast or uncomfortable. It was perfect. Arthur was still gripping the front of Merlin's neckerchief to keep him close.

It could have been a thousand years or two minutes, but the minute they broke it, they realized the entire room had gone silent. Someone had turned off the boom box and everyone was staring at them.

All Arthur could think about now was _Merlin..._


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't know why I'm updating so fast, I just love writing this! Anyway, again I love to hear from you guys so PLEASE REVIEW if you can. It doesn't have to be long, but it boosts my spirits, so... I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's plenty fluffy and angsty, so yeah, should be fun. :D I don't own Merlin. **

The first sound they heard was a loud yell from Gwaine. He was grinning from ear to ear and he turned to Percival and whispered something in his ear. Percival, who had previously been grinning as well, scowled slightly and pulled a few dollars out of his pocket and put them in Gwaine's hand. Mordred looked shocked as well as amused. Everyone else's expressions were variations of surprise, amusement, satisfaction, save for Freya and Gwen who looked conflicted about the whole thing.

Arthur swallowed and looked from Merlin to their friends and back again. Merlin looked incredibly embarrassed and was biting his lip and looking at his feet. His ears were red, the way they got when he was blushing. Arthur knew he had to break the silence, because Merlin certainly wasn't going to, so he just cleared his throat and said awkwardly,

"Is there a problem?" No one moved, but Morgana stumbled, giggling and fell into Gwen's shoulder.

"Nope! No problem! Carry on!" Gwaine called before he moved back to turn the boom box back on. Everyone gradually went back to what they were doing after a few minutes, but they all got some sort of friendly comment from everyone. Most everyone said they knew it was going to happen sooner or later. Arthur got nervous when Gwen came over with Morgana to say something.

"Guinevere, I-"

"Arthur, don't worry about it. I always knew Merlin was a priority over me. It's okay."

"No, he's not, I mean, he….but you're my…."

"I lived without you for a long time back in Camelot. I think I'll be okay," she said kindly, giving him a kiss on the cheek, "Although I hope we can still be friends."

"I never said we were going to be a couple!" Merlin didn't say anything, but he looked down at his feet again. Gwen rolled her eyes.

"Oh please, it was going to happen sooner or later." She walked away quickly without looking back. The only person who didn't seem to have anything to say about it was Freya. Neither of them saw her for the rest of the night and Merlin worried she had gone off on her own. She may be immortal, but she knew this century as well as Arthur or any of the others.

It was the best and worst thing for Arthur and Merlin. The best because they both had been wanting to do that, but the worst because now they weren't sure how to act around each other. Were they a couple? Were they still friends and it was just a bromance kiss? Was nothing changed? Neither seemed to know and Arthur left to go socialize with the knights soon after Gwen walked away. Merlin was left on his own and he was very conflicted. There was Freya and her feelings to worry about. There was also Arthur and Gwen to worry about, and he just didn't know what to do.

Gaius approached Merlin and smiled at him as if amused. "Hello, Merlin," he said, "I think congratulations are in order." He quickly noticed Merlin's expression and asked, "What's wrong with you?"

"I don't know. I should be happy, right? But I'm not. Where do we go from here? I don't know what this makes our relationship. I've never even kissed anyone save for Freya and now Arthur. I don't…." he trailed off, sitting down on the couch behind him and putting his head in his hands. Gaius sat next to him.

"What do you want, Merlin?" Gaius asked him softly. Merlin looked at him before resting his elbows on his knees, and putting his chin in his hands.

"I don't know. I want us to be friends, but more than friends, but the same relationship. I don't know how to explain it."

"So you don't want much to change except for the fact that you and Arthur are in love." Merlin's insides panged at the phrase. It was foreign to him.

"I suppose, but I want us to be the same as we ever were, just plus the….affection I guess." Gaius smiled at him, but answered,

"I can't say I can help you with that, but I think you'll get there, Merlin. You always do." He stood and walked away, leaving Merlin alone with his thoughts. Merlin sighed, retreating to his room soon after Gaius left him.

((()))

Merlin found Freya laying on her bed in the room, pretending to be asleep. He knew this because her breathing was nowhere as even or slow as it should have been if she was actually asleep. She was shaking and when he put a hand on her shoulder, she flinched.

"Freya, what's the matter?" he asked. She didn't answer at first so he asked her again. She took a deep breath and sat up, moving her hair to one side and over one shoulder, twisting it with a finger.

"Nothing. I'm fine. I'm tired, but I can't sleep." Merlin lit a candle and held it in front of her face. Her eyes were red as if she'd been….

"Freya, why are you crying?"

"Are you really that clueless?"

Merlin shrugged, "Pretend I am. Probably."

"You and Arthur." Merlin blushed.

"What about it?"

"….Uh, well, I thought we were….I don't know." She sounded as though she was hesitant to spell it out for him.

"Oh," Merlin's blush darkened, "I, uh, well that was….a long time ago, Freya. And I know….on the island before Arthur woke up, but….it wasn't….I didn't mean to…." he stuttered. He was hopeless.

"It didn't mean anything you mean," she finished for him. Ashamed to hear it put that way, he nodded quickly before looking down at his feet. "I understand. It was blatantly obvious you were in love. Just not with me. It's okay." She sighed before laying down to curl up in her bed again. Merlin was sitting at the end of her bed to talk to her. He scooted up so he could reach with his hand to touch her head. He laid a hand lightly on top of her hair and said quietly,

"I'm sorry." Then he got up, blew out his candle, and crawled into his own cot.

((()))

_"Why have you abandoned us?" hissed voices from beyond the grave. "Morgana, you promised us revenge!" Morgana tossed and turned in her bed, terrified of the voices that haunted her. Morgause's bracelet was not helping her, but then, it was Morgause, among others, who haunted her now. The voices of her predecessors and her allies filled her head. Nimeuh, Morgause, the druids, Agravaine, and others whispered to her._

_"Morgana," they growled, "They will all wither and suffer, but we require you to give us the way to do so. You must open the Veil. The maidservant Guinevere will do…."_

_"Stop it!" Morgana shouted at them, "Leave her alone! Leave us alone! I've left you behind, you can't make me do this! "_

_"We can control you, high priestess, do not think you are exempt from our power."_

_"Why do you want them? They are of no use to you now, Camelot and the lands are dead! They bring you no power now!"_

_"Silly, silly girl," they chortled, "You call yourself a high priestess and yet you forget the basic rule of life and death."_

_"No…." she breathed, "You can't do this! I'll tell….I'll tell Emrys, and he'll stop you. He can stop you!"_

_"You will have no say in this should you choose to betray us, Morgana," they hissed, "We would rather you do this willingly so as not to give up yourself too…."_

_"They brought me back," she told them, "I will not betray them again. I. Was. Wrong." She heard the voices growl and threaten angrily and they spoke as one against her._

_"So be it."_

Merlin was woken by a chilling scream from down the hall. He threw off his sheets and jumped out of bed. Arthur heard it too and perked up, following Merlin out, and was also closely followed by Freya. They found the knights had done the same and rushed to the source of the scream. It came from Morgana. Her eyes were closed and her chest heaving and she kept muttering, looking terrified on the outside. Merlin pushed through the circle they formed around her. Gwen looked nearly as terrified as Morgana and asked Merlin frantically,

"What's wrong with her? Even when she used to have bad dreams, she always woke up. She won't respond to me or anything!" Merlin put a hand on her forehead and addressed his old mentor.

"She's freezing, Gaius." Gaius nodded and rushed to his old herbs, part of him probably eager to use his old herbs again.

Merlin put his fingers on her temples and closed his eyes, trying to reach her mind. Something was attempting to block him out.

"**Glisseo semptara hemae**" he whispered. He was still blocked out, so he tried again. After the fifth time he tried whispering it, he suddenly yelled it out with no warning and the barrier broke. As he searched Morgana's mind and memories of whatever she was thinking about, he heard Gwaine mutter behind him to Mordred,

"That's terrifying..." He heard Mordred chuckle, but he blocked out the other sounds as he searched in more depth. He quickly located the dream and shuddered at the warning. Morgana was trying to warn him. She really was on their side. And she was helpless. He removed his fingers from her temples quickly, and he was white and visibly shaking. He turned around and asked shakily,

"I know you may not be ready, but we need to take off her magic inhibitor bracelet." Most looked okay with it, but Elion and Leon looked wary.

"Why?" Elion asked.

"Her mind and willpower have been….invaded. She can't defend herself and I can't always be there to defend her. Morgana's chest was still heaving from the struggle and she let out a pitiful whimper again.

"I can fight it for a little while, but it's very strong, and since it's her mind, I cannot banish it without her consent and the aid of her magic. Elion, she's given us no reason to distrust her since she's joined us. I can always contain it again if I need to, you've seen for yourself I'm stronger than her, but she can't defend herself." Elion swallowed and nodded. Merlin quickly touched the bracelet and removed it, and gold sparkled under the skin where it had been located and it spread over her whole body like veins. It settled and after a few minutes, with a look of intense concentration on her face, Morgana's body settled and her breathing became even again. Merlin put a hand on her forehead again and found it was almost back to normal.

"She's dispelled it," he breathed out in relief. Everyone released a breath they didn't seem to be aware they were holding and relaxed. Gaius returned with the herbs and deflated slightly when he saw he wasn't needed. He winked at Merlin, though, and went to put them back. The group retreated to bed again after that, save for Merlin and Gwen. Gwen wanted to make certain she was alright and requested Merlin stay for another few minutes.

Merlin reassured Gwen she was okay, but as he was about to walk away, she awoke and shot out an arm to grab his wrist. He turned around quickly and he saw her eyes were wide with fear.

"Why did you take my bracelet off?" she demanded.

"You….you needed it to fight whoever was controlling your mind," he replied, looking at her with confusion. She glanced at her wrist, her eyes still wide and her mouth slightly parted and she withdrew her hand from his arm.

"I'm sorry," she added, "Thank you." She rubbed her wrist where the bracelet used to be and sighed. She laid back against the bed and breathed in and out slowly. "Did you see them?" she asked suddenly. Merlin nodded.

"I'll try to do something about it. Not sure what though," he said thoughtfully. She replied,

"Just know if I do something that….well, something that would hurt anyone here, it's not me. I don't want to cause any more pain, Merlin." He bit his lip and nodded once at her. He left quickly, eager to go back to sleep and ponder it alone.

((()))

When Merlin awoke the next morning, or rather afternoon, he was confused to feel a warm mass formed around him. He opened his eyes blearily and looked behind him to see Arthur's face, still sleeping. Arthur's arm was over Merlin's body protectively and he was laying behind him as if he had hugged him and then fallen asleep. Which was not entirely untrue. Merlin shifted slightly and he heard Arthur grumble behind him. Merlin just curled more into his friend's broader chest and nuzzled his head into Arthur's arm that was resting on the mattress below them. It was warm and comfortable, and quite reassuring, considering he was thinking yesterday that Arthur was no longer interested because he'd left him alone for the rest of the night after they kissed.

Arthur woke up after Merlin shifted and noticed he had moved closer to him. Good. He wasn't sure if he was still awake or not, but he found himself curling his ankles around Merlin's feet so their ankles were interlocked and they slept like this for another hour. Freya awoke a few minutes before they did and scowled at the sight of them. She knew she wasn't being fair. Merlin was allowed to love whoever he liked, but that didn't mean she had to be happy about it. She sighed quietly, trying to put immature thoughts behind her and carry on like she always did. She left the room quickly, and left them at the mercy of whoever decided to walk in on them.

Mordred was, in fact, the first person besides Freya to see this. He stood there awkwardly for a second before stepping out. He was going to ask Merlin a question, but he decided it was best to ask later. But he did not conceal this information from Gwaine and Percival, just for the sake of fun, and they thought it was hilarious. They didn't disturb them, though , out of courtesy for their privacy. Mordred had, after all, just stumbled in by accident.

Merlin woke up finally around eleven in the morning and turned on his side so he was facing the ceiling. Arthur felt him shift and grunted, his eyes opening blearily. Merlin glanced at him.

"Mo-orning," he said. Arthur smirked slightly and untangled himself from Merlin before sitting up.

"Anybody see us like this? I'm sure we'll never live it down if they did," Arthur asked.

"Well, Freya for one thing," Merlin replied, pointing at the empty bed, "And knowing Gwaine, probably him or Percival or Mordred. I think we're lucky we escaped getting our faces drawn on to be quite honest." His humor was back finally and he smiled back at Arthur. He stood, yawning and pulling his jeans on. Arthur followed suit and looked at him for a minute.

"Merlin?" he asked, "Hang on, before you leave….."

"What? Still need help getting dressed?" the warlock asked sarcastically.

"No. I just...I was wondering...I'm not forcing this on you, right?" he asked tentatively. Merlin opened his mouth and then closed it again. He looked at Arthur thoughtfully.

"No. You're my best friend and this is what I want, I think. When have you ever known me not to speak my mind?"

"Well you didn't tell me you had magic until I was dying in your arms," he grumbled.

"That was different," Merlin shot back, pointing at him accusingly, "I already gave you plenty of good reasons why I didn't."

"I know," he replied cheerfully, "I was just making sure."

"So nothing's changed, right? I mean...besides the sleeping arrangements and the intimacy obviously," Merlin asked cautiously. Arthur glanced at him sidelong as he pulled his t-shirt on. They had both been sleeping shirtless and in sweats beforehand and weren't keen on walking out like that.

"No," Arthur replied, smiling warmly at him, "Nothing besides that."

"So what does this make us?" Merlin asked. Arthur thought for a minute.

"Bravery and magic, just like always. Hand in hand, destinies entwined, and now in love. Should this come as a surprise?" Arthur replied snarkily. Merlin raised one eyebrow at him and replied just as wittily,

"Let's leave 'strength' out of this, shall we?"

"Probably best." They left the room together to face the long day that lie ahead of them.

((()))

"Merlin." Merlin spun around. It was the middle of the afternoon and most everyone else were out doing other things, but Merlin was stuck doing chores. As usual. But it was okay with him. He preferred it this way anyway. When he turned, he saw Mordred behind him. The familiar suspicion panged in him when he saw who it was, but Mordred gave no sign of aggression or harmful intent.

"Yes?" Mordred shuffled his feet uncomfortably and bit his lip.

"Well first I'd like to say I know you still don't trust me and I'm sure you never will, seeing as you never have." Merlin opened his mouth to reply, but Mordred cut him off, "I'm under the impression we've started with a clean slate. I hold nothing against you if you will hold nothing against me. I am aware we have both caused each other multiple grievances in the past, but I'd like to put that behind us now." Merlin resisted the urge to scowl. He trusted Morgana than he trusted the Druid boy. He said 'multiple grievances' as if they'd stolen each other's toy swords as children rather than mass murder and killing his best friend. "I know this is going to sound bad, and whiny if nothing else, but I'd like to know why Morgana is allowed to have her bracelet removed and not me." Merlin narrowed his eyes at Mordred.

"You were there….you heard me. She needs her own magic to protect herself from the spirits that have been awakened in Avalon."

"Yes, but I'd rather I not have an attack on my own mind like she did. It's easier to prevent them from coming in than trying to get them out once they've gotten in. And I'd say I've earned back some trust of the others, right? I've wiped the slate clean, just like Morgana." Merlin tried to find a reason to say 'no', but he could find none. His old instincts told him not to trust the Druid boy, but Mordred was right. The man looked sincere and almost pleading. He hated having his magic restrained and had put up with it longer than Merlin would have. Merlin swallowed and looked down at his feet.

Then he stuck out his right hand. Mordred took it and shook, looking brighter and Merlin removed the bracelet, but slid it into his pocket.

"I'm watching both of you. I know you've been good, but I still have good reason to be suspicious." Mordred didn't look worried.

"Thanks, Merlin!" he said happily, grinning at him before going out to join the others. Merlin just hoped it wasn't the wrong decision.

((()))

Gwaine approached Merlin the next day and asked, "So how's it going with Arthur?" Merlin playfully scowled at him. He and Arthur had slept next to each other again the last night and Arthur would randomly reach out and grab Merlin's hand as if making sure he was still there.

"'S fine, not that it's any of your business," he replied.

"Mordred tells me you sleep together," Gwaine replied, lowering his voice to sound seductive. Merlin laughed and smacked the back of his head.

"Not in the way you're thinking of it, stupid!"

"Well how else is there to think of it?"

"He just sleeps next to me when he gets cold."

"Cold. Ri-ight." Gwaine wiggled his eyebrows and Merlin decided to change the subject.

"How're you liking the 21st century then?" Gwaine huffed as if disappointed they were changing topics, but he replied confidently,

"It's fine, but I think I'm getting soft. Arthur will have to get us some training sessions going again when he's not too busy snogging you." Merlin glared at him before answering sharply,

"He does not."

"I bet he does."

"We only kissed _once_, Gwaine, and you were all there to witness it."

"Glad I was, too, it was entertaining. Plus, I bet a bunch of the other knights that it would be you and him and they thought I was crazy. I think only Lancelot agreed with me." He patted his pocket with a hand, hearing the clinking of coins there. "I saw you let Mordred off the hook, by the way. That was nice of you. Still keeping an eye on him, though, I hope?"

Merlin scowled. "Of course. What do you think of him?" Gwaine shrugged.

"I missed the kid, to be honest, it's nice to have him back. But I don't think it's uncalled for to keep an eye on him."

Merlin nodded, "That's what I thought, too."

"I'd best get back to Percival and Mordred and Bear. Don't want Arthur to think you're two-timing him, huh?" Gwaine affectionately ruffled Merlin's hair. Merlin swatted him away and yelled after him,

"You know you're worse than he is sometimes, Gwaine!"

"Tell him that, I'm sure he'll be flattered!" came Gwaine's response. Merlin chuckled to himself. Gwaine always wanted the last word.

((()))

Freya decided today was as good a day as any to address Merlin about something on her mind. She pulled him aside and he smiled at her.

"What is it, Freya?" She looked at him uncertainly and said,

"I need to talk to you." Merlin raised an eyebrow.

"Okay."

"Alone."

"Oh-kay." She rolled her eyes and grabbed his wrist and pulled him into their room and shut the door.

"I'm worried about this."

"What?"

"Us."

"We talked about this, Freya."

"No, not us, I mean _all_ of us."

"What do you mean?"

"We're dead, Merlin."

"You were dead," he corrected her. She rolled her eyes at him.

"We're not supposed to be here, Merlin! Who do you think died to take our place? Innocent people? And we shouldn't be here to begin with. I know you have the physical power to bring people back from the dead, but it's not right. And I don't think you purposely raised the others, but they shouldn't be here either. The only person who should be here is Arthur!"

"Do you _miss_ being dead?"

"Of course not, Merlin, but don't you see? Something's wrong here. It's not natural."

"The only problem we've had is Morgana's attack, but we can figure that out and move on with our lives." Freya gave him a serious look.

"You know something's wrong here. They shouldn't be here."

"If you think about it,_ I_ shouldn't be here. I'm a few thousand years old, Freya, I should be dead."

"No, you and Arthur and meant to be here," she said firmly, "The rest of us are not."

"They're my friends!" Merlin growled, his anger growing slowly, "I've been deprived of human company for a thousand years, I've saved so many lives and they didn't even know I was there. I think I deserve some friendly company for a few decades."

"You did that to yourself, Merlin. You deprived yourself of human company because it hurt too much. Don't go blaming your destiny for that. It did not destine you to be lonely," Freya shot back. Merlin scowled at her and stood up, pacing the room like an angry, caged animal.

"So what do you expect me to do? Kill them? Kill you and Gwaine and Gwen and all my friends?"

Freya bowed her head. "I don't know. That's obviously not the solution, but I don't know what is."

"So don't tell me that unless you have a solution," he hissed, "I will not lose them again." Freya flinched, his intense gaze frightening her. Merlin stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"Oh God," Freya said quietly, putting her head in her hands, "Come on, Merlin…."

((()))

Merlin was storming down the hall quickly, wanting to be anywhere but where Freya was. How could she say that to him? How could she ask him to get rid of them? He was looking at the floor as he walked down the hall and his fists were clenched, so he didn't notice when….

"Oof!" Merlin ran straight into someone taller than he was. He looked up after a minute and saw the one person he wanted to see.

"Arthur…." he breathed. He immediately hugged him tightly and buried his head in Arthur's shoulder, trying to hold back tears. Arthur looked down at his friend with concern and put his arms around him almost protectively.

"Hey Merlin….what's wrong, what happened?" he asked quietly.

"I'm fine," came his lame, muffled reply.

"_Mer_lin," Arthur demanded. He held Merlin out at arm's length, his hands on his shoulders, and said, "Tell me."

Merlin sighed, "It's nothing, Arthur, just happy to see you." He sounded tired.

"Now we both know that's not true, come on now."

"Seriously, I'm fine. Maybe later. It's not important." Arthur raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, if you're sure…"

"I am." Merlin put on a fake smile and hurried past Arthur. Now it was Arthur's turn to sigh as he shook his head and continued walking.

When Merlin went to sleep that night, of course with Arthur next to him again, he was woken by a low whisper in his head.

"Merlin?_ Merlin!_"


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi everyone! I don't own Merlin unfortunately. Thanks to everyone for all the support and I love reviews so please leave one, even of its short, for me if you can. Hope you enjoy this chapter! :)**

Merlin eyes opened quickly as he recognized the voice almost immediately.

"Mordred," he hissed, "You scared me. What is it?" Mordred looked scared, and Merlin immediately felt bad for snapping at him. Mordred didn't answer, he just shook his head. Merlin's eyes widened.

"What is it, what's happened?" Merlin shifted and untangled himself from Arthur's arms. Arthur grumbled and turned over. Merlin sat up, analyzing Mordred's bright blue eyes that were wide with fright.

"Can you tell me?"

_No_, came Mordred's voice in his head,_They have forbidden it. I can't speak, Merlin, I've tried! This is the only communication I can use, and if I try to tell you, they will find a way to stop me._ He sounded terrified of 'they'. Merlin stood up and put a light hand on his arm and steered him out the room so they didn't disturb Arthur and Freya. He sat him down on the couch in the living room and went to make hot chocolate, hoping to calm him down enough to get an explanation out of him. He quickly made two mugs and handed one to Mordred.

_Well this is new_, came Mordred's sardonic voice in his head,_ I didn't think you'd go out of your way to make me hot chocolate_.

"Oh geez, give me this one, will you?" Merlin whispered, "I do one nice thing and you're….oozing sarcasm." Mordred rolled his eyes.

_Can you fix me?_

"I can try, and I will try. Are you sure you can't fix yourself?"

_Of course I'm sure…._ Remembering an ironic joke about new-age technology, Merlin suddenly asked humorously,

"Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?"

_Haha, very funny, Merlin_. Merlin cleared his throat and said seriously,

"Okay, so what happened?"

_Did you not hear me say I couldn't tell you or are you just that thick?_

"I'm trying to help you, Mordred, no need to be rude."

_It's not like you're very warm and cuddly._

"I thought we were doing a clean slate thing or something."

_...Right. Sorry. The invasion of my mind has put me off my usual genial temper if you haven't noticed._

"Obviously…" Merlin sipped his chocolate and looked at Mordred curiously.

_What are you looking at? Or for?_ Mordred asked almost accusingly.

"Not sure….something's just different….it's not important."

_Be a little more vague will you?_

"Oh quit it with the sarcasm already. I'm thinking." Mordred was silent and Merlin thought about this. He had gathered enough to know for almost certain that it was the same spirits haunting Mordred that haunted Morgana the other night. This worried him greatly. They would probably be picking on both of them, knowing the rest were too loyal to give in to their wills. Morgana and Mordred were thought to be easier to break. And they, whoever they were, were probably right.

"It was the same spirits who got after Morgana, wasn't it?"

Mordred shrugged and replied _I dunno, I wasn't there. I would say most likely though._

"Why aren't they stopping you from saying that?" Merlin asked, narrowing his eyes.

_I don't know, but I'm not complaining. Maybe they figure that's obvious and it doesn't matter._

"Can you tell me what happened?" Mordred's eyes widened and he shook his head 'no'. Merlin huffed in frustration. He hated invading the minds of others, even if it was to help them. It was uncomfortable and he didn't do it unless completely necessary. "Mordred, come here," he sighed. Mordred scooted closer to him, knowing what he was going to do. He closed his eyes and concentrated as Merlin put his fingers on the boy's temples and tried to see the dream as he had seen Morgana's.

Almost immediately it was chaos. He had almost reached it when a blinding red light came down like lightning, severing the connect. Merlin frowned and tried to fight it, but the more he pushed, the more violently it fought back. Merlin suddenly became aware that Mordred was shaking hard. Merlin opened his eyes and saw Mordred was in pain. His arms were flailing helplessly and he was shaking violently, and he was rocking back and forth. The worst was his expression. His face showed incredible pain and he was silently screaming. He couldn't speak, so no sound came out. But Merlin recognized the mouth forced open to its widest capacity and the eyes clenched shut. He was screaming silently, suffering alone. Merlin immediately removed himself from Mordred's mind and brought his hands away from his face.

"Mordred!" he whispered loudly, trying not to make a commotion, "Mordred!" Merlin put shaking hands on Mordred's shoulders, trying to remove him from his delusion. He grabbed the Druid's arms and tried to hold them still tried everything he could to snap him out of it. Suddenly Mordred went limp and he collapsed, on the couch thankfully.

"Mordred?" Merlin stood up and checked the Druid's pulse. It was very faint, but still there and steady. Merlin felt guilt weigh down on him. He'd been very sharp with him and he'd just been trying to help. He picked the smaller man up, one hand under his back and the other under the knees and positioned him more comfortably.

_Mordred?_ Merlin tried to contact him. There was no response, as if he had never been there. Merlin was suddenly struck with an idea. He crept into the girls' room, which may or may not have been the most thought out plan in the world, but thankfully they were still asleep in a t-shirt and sweats. Merlin rushed over to Morgana. He gently shook her awake. She looked nervous when she saw who it was, but he told her it was important and she allowed him to lead her out of the room, but she left a note for Gwen to make sure she knew where she was.

He led her to where Mordred was lying on the couch, unconscious. She looked flighty all of a sudden, digging her fingers into his arm.

"What's wrong with him? Did you do that?" she asked.

"Not on purpose. I need your help. The spirits who invaded your mind the other night attacked Mordred tonight and when I tried to see who they were and what happened, and this was the result. I think they mentally tortured him." Merlin's tone was sad and sincere and Morgana picked this up.

"But how did they...Merlin, I know who they are."

"Careful," he warned, "I don't want this to happen to you." Her gaze darkened.

"It won't," she said firmly, "They wouldn't dare. I'm still working to keep them out."

"Well tell me quick before they get in then," Merlin urged.

"Well….it's just the ones who fought you, but somehow they've gotten more powerful. Nimeuh, Agravaine, Morgause, some of the druids that never forgave the Pendragons and joined…." Merlin knew the end of that sentence was 'me', but he didn't say it. He thought she sounded a little sad when she said Morgause. He understood and he let it go. "I think there are more," she continued, "But I'm not sure who. I just know they originate from the lake and they are very dangerous, even at this distance." Merlin swallowed, glancing at Mordred, and nodded.

"Thanks. Be careful, okay?" he asked her. She nodded, looking nervous as she too glanced at Mordred, and retreated to her room. Merlin settled next to Mordred, resting his hand on his chin thoughtfully. He wanted to keep an eye on the Druid to see if there were any changes, but fell asleep soon after talking with Morgana.

((()))

_"You cannot stop us, Emrys…." hissed strange voices. Merlin recognized Morgause's and Nimeuh's voices, but none of the others. Probably enemies he never knew, or didn't know long enough to recognize their voice._

_"Leave them alone! Why can't you let us go?" Merlin demanded._

_"Because you still live while we do. You have destroyed us and we want to do you the honor of feeling what our losses were like…."_

_"These are old grievances! You are old enemies! I have no further quarrel with you! Why do you care anymore?"_

_"You destroyed us, Emrys...and you have corrupted Morgana and Mordred into thinking you love them still. You do not trust them. They are being misled and we want them back."_

_"Is there any way I can settle this with you_?"

_"We require one thing above all else….we must have it or we will never let you go," they hissed._

_"What do you need?" Merlin asked hopefully. His spirits sank almost immediately, knowing there was no way they were going to require something easy like a piece of pie or something._

_"The eternal soul of the young Arthur Pendragon." Merlin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Of course it had to be something melodramatic like someone's immortal soul._

_"No, sorry," Merlin said simply, "Can't do that." Then he added in a low growl, "Now get out of my head." He used all of his force to push the being out of his mind._

Merlin awoke, gasping for air and sweating profusely. His hands were shaking and he was paler than usual. Mordred was still unconscious next to him.

"Crap…" he muttered, looking over Mordred's condition again.

"Merlin!" he heard Arthur call from their room.

"Here!" he shouted back. Arthur came in, looking sleepy and disgruntled.

"Why'd you leave?" he asked, sounding slightly hurt. Merlin pointed to Mordred. Arthur looked surprised and opened his mouth to say something when Merlin said,

"He's unconscious. The spirits attacked him and I wanted to keep an eye on him." Arthur shut his mouth and said grumpily,

"I hope you know I was freezing without you there." Merlin shrugged, amused at Arthur's petulant tone. Arthur rolled his eyes and vowed to come back later. From there everyone woke up separately, each asking what happened to Mordred and Merlin explaining in tired tones to each of them. Freya didn't look at him as she went out to ponder her own existence at the lake. Gaius was the only one to think to ask how he was. How Merlin was.

"I'm okay, Gaius," came Merlin's robotic reply. Gaius raised an eyebrow. Or rather, Merlin thought he did, because the way Gaius's face was, it always looked like he was raising an eyebrow and judging you.

"Merlin," he said quietly, "You matter, too. Now I'm going to ask you again, how areyou?" Merlin sighed heavily.

"Just tired. I've been keeping up this aging spell for ages now, on top of all the other magic I've had to do to make everyone happy-"

"You've been holding an aging spell?!" Gaius interrupted, incredulous, "How do you normally look?" Merlin concentrated and released the spell for a minute, letting his old appearance crash down on him like a ton of bricks. Immediately, Merlin felt relieved and more tired at the same time. Gaius smirked, but still looked worried.

"So, you got old finally? What happened to the little boy that used to work for me?" he joked, before turning serious again, "Turning yourself young isn't as hard as turning yourself older, since you're going back in time rather than forward in it, but aging spells are difficult to hold at the best of times. Merlin….how long have you been holding this spell?" Merlin thought back.

"A year and a half, I think. It slips sometimes, but other than that…"

"Merlin! It's amazing you're not dead!" Gaius exclaimed, immediately looking worried, "You need to take a break, at least. And on top of all the other stress and magic you've done…I've underestimated you, as always."

"Don't worry about me, Gaius, I'm fine, I'm just a little tired-"

"No. As your mentor, friend, and physician, I'm telling you now, you're not doing that aging spell again until you've taken at least a day off to recuperate!" Merlin visibly deflated.

"But Arthur and-"

"I don't care what Arthur thinks and you shouldn't either," Gaius snapped, sounding a little fierce, as if Merlin had struck a nerve., "If he really loves you he wouldn't care."

"Okay, but I can see his point of view. I look like a wrinkled grape that's fried in the sun and-"

"Give yourself a little credit, Merlin, you've been alive a couple thousand years." Merlin shrugged and whined in defeat,

"I'm ugly this way, Gaius!" Gaius smirked at him and gave him a light smack to the back of the head.

"Vanity is not attractive, Merlin…." He stood and started to walk away and said as he did, "Seriously, don't go back to your younger form until tonight, at the very least. You should feel better then." He left the room and Merlin huffed. He hated everything about being old. It constrained him in ways he did not wish to be constrained.

((()))

Gwaine, of course, was the first one to see Merlin that afternoon. His eyebrows furrowed as he approached him.

"Aren't you that old sorcerer who Arthur wanted so long ago for questioning?" he asked, with no lack of hostility.

"No, I'm Merlin. Gwaine, it's me," Merlin said drowsily, yawning and scratching his beard. Gwaine raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously? Merlin's in the other room with…." he glanced into the room where Mordred lay sick on the couch. Then he peered into the old man's eyes and said quietly, "Oh my God, you are Merlin." Then he started to laugh. Merlin rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"W-what happened, Merlin?" Gwaine laughed.

"I'm old. Didn't it occur to you that being alive for this long would age me a bit?" Merlin snapped. Gwaine stopped laughing after another minute and apologized,

"Sorry. I never thought about it." Then his eyebrows furrowed again, "So wait, doesn't that mean you were the one who killed Uther?" Merlin frowned, looking suddenly fearful.

"That wasn't me. I mean it was, but it wasn't my fault." Gwaine nodded with a 'Hmm' and then suddenly grabbed Merlin's wrist and held it up.

"You're tinier than before, Merlin. Need to fatten you up." He laughed for a second before patting Merlin's flat stomach and wandering off, probably to find Bear. The dog was growing at a fast pace and its head was already up to Merlin's thigh.

Merlin sighed and retreated to find the other knights to find something to do. He quickly explained himself to them, and after laughter much like Gwaine's, they invited him to play Mario Cart with them. They had discovered the video game in the store at the very edge of the town that sold electronics, and Mario Cart had been among the games they sold. Gwaine, Percival, and Mordred had taken to it immediately. _Mordred_…. Merlin thought guiltily as he maneuvered the Wii remote. When he finished the game, he pushed Bear away from his lap and got up to go check on the Druid. There was no visible change, but when Merlin checked his pulse again, he felt it was weaker, barely there.

"Dammit…" he muttered, chewing the inside of his cheek nervously. Annoyed now with his old body, he changed back quickly, before thinking more about how to save him. He knew there was only one way he could save Mordred, and that was with magic, but he was terrified that if he did any more magic on the knight, he really would kill him. He flinched when he felt someone's hand on his back lightly and he turned around to see Arthur facing him, looking worried.

"How is he?" he asked. Merlin looked at him guiltily and his eyes flitted down to the floor as he replied,

"Worse." Arthur inhaled sharply.

"What should we do?" He realized what he was implying and Merlin frowned.

"We can't let him die, Arthur," he replied a little harshly.

"I know," Arthur said casually, as if they were discussing the weather, "I'm just wondering if it's a good idea to save him." Merlin frowned more and snapped back at him,

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Arthur looked affronted and removed his hand from Merlin's back. He looked shocked at Merlin's outburst and opened his mouth as if he was going to say something and then closed it. "Arthur, he's been back with us for a year now. You've seen how he acts around Gwaine and Percival and the others! He's back and he nearly died trying to tell me that we were in danger, as did Morgana!" Arthur looked slightly ashamed.

"I know, it's just a little hard to forget the fact that he-"

"I don't care what he did before, I am judging him on how he's acting now!" That's when Arthur got angry.

"Merlin, he killed me. And hundreds of others, knights of mine, friends of mine. How can I forgive that so easily? How canyou?" Merlin suddenly felt more guilty.

"I don't think I ever told you this," he said quietly, "And I wasn't really planning to. Would you like to know?" Arthur still looked angry, but he nodded tersely. Merlin took a deep breath and launched into his story.

"When we first met Mordred, the Druid boy who tried to escape, you remember, yeah? I told you I used to talk to the Great Dragon for advice, and so this was one of those times. I asked how we could help him. Kilgarrah - the dragon - told me to….he told me to let the boy go, let him be captured and executed by your father." Arthur's eyes hardened, glancing at Mordred. "He told me that he would be your downfall one day. But I didn't listen. How could that little Druid boy, so helpless, grow up to be your Bane? So I ignored his advice and helped you help him escape. That's why I was late, I was having moral dilemmas." Arthur looked torn. He didn't know how to feel about this. "I regretted the decision the minute we met him again, all those years later. I didn't trust him when you made him a knight. I never trusted him. And it may have been my blatant distrust that drove him to turn on you in the first place."

"How could you not tell me?" Arthur asked after a second of looking shocked, sounding hurt, "Merlin, that was animportant little detail you neglected to tell me!" Merlin scowled.

"Oh yeah, brilliant idea. Just walking into your chambers one day, and saying, 'Oh hey Arthur! You know that Druid boy you're going to help escape? He's destined to kill you one day, so just let him die please.' You never would have believed me!"

"You're my friend, of course I would have believed you. I trusted and still do trust your judgment." Merlin raised an eyebrow.

"Usually when I would tell you things like this, you told me not to be stupid and that that wasn't possible until something happened to make you believe me. And at that point, we were just getting to know each other, we weren't really all that close yet," he said quietly.

"No, I…." Arthur thought for a minute before crossing his arms across his chest and said haughtily, "You still should have told me!"

"Don't be thick, that wouldn't have done any good. You wouldn't have been able to process it through your thick skull," Merlin replied nastily.

"Are you calling me stupid?"

"Maybe I am. You're certainly acting it very well."

"That was important to tell me, Merlin, or else we never would have had this problem! We all loved him! All the knights and I were destroyed when he betrayed us, you could have prevented that!" Merlin's expression suddenly changed to something Arthur didn't recognize and he knew he'd gone too far.

"And that's what I have to live with every day," Merlin said, his voice barely audible, "That was my destiny. To live every day knowing I had made the wrong decision and all of Camelot would pay for it. Every decision I made would affect you and the kingdom and it was always 'you'd better not screw up, Merlin, or everyone dies' coming from Kilgarrah and then you had no idea whatsoever what the hell was going on, so I had to go behind your back on some things to save your ass or whatever. Do you have any idea what that's like?"

"I'm sorry," Arthur whispered, mortified by Merlin's words. "But don't….don't think it was easy for me either, Merlin." His voice got slightly stronger as he continued, "I had a lot of responsibility, too. You werenot the only one suffering and you act like you were, but you're wrong. So don't do that to me. Don't make it sound like I wasn't doing anything." Merlin could hear the hurt in Arthur's voice and felt guilty, but then, they both did at this point. Arthur looked at him seriously for a moment before turning and leaving quickly. They were both wrong and they both knew it.

((()))

Merlin sat stubbornly by Mordred's side as evening fell, checking his temperature and pulse often, and the Druid was not making much of an improvement at all. Gaius finally found him still sitting there, half asleep, and roused him.

"Merlin, have you been here all day?"

"I don't know what else to do. I don't know how to help him and I'm afraid to use my magic on him." Gaius sighed and told him,

"You need to go sleep. You didn't even eat with us, you just took your dinner in here. Why are you so determined to save him? He did kill Arthur."

"So you're on his side too?" Merlin burst out accusingly.

"So Arthur has come by to check on you. I see. I take it that didn't go so well?" Merlin frowned and looked down at his feet and answered,

"No, it didn't." Gaius raised an eyebrow.

"What happened?"

"It's a long story."

"If you're determined to sit here all night, we have time." Merlin quickly briefed him on the conversation and Gaius nodded.

"I understand where he's coming from, even if I don't necessarily agree."

"It's hard, Gaius. I know what he's done, but he's changed. Doesn't he deserve another chance? Or am I wrong?" Merlin asked, his eyes wide. Gaius shrugged,

"To be honest, Merlin, I don't know. It's controversial. Ultimately, I suppose, it is up to you. But for now, get some rest. I'll keep watch over him tonight." Merlin knew Gaius would do so gladly, but he felt guilty letting him stay there all night.

"Not tired…" he grumbled, but then yawned to prove his point.

"Merlin, go," he demanded. Merlin nodded and thanked him, not willing to argue with him or anyone anymore. So far he had pushed away Freya and Arthur, he didn't want to lose Gaius too.

When Merlin entered his bedroom, he sighed when he saw Arthur laying in his own bed for once. The sight made Merlin sad, but it was understandable. He would miss the comfort tonight, though. He pulled Arthur's blanket up and tucked it under the former king's chin, and Arthur didn't even stir. He was out cold, sleeping heavily, with his mouth open slightly. Merlin put a light hand on top of his head and leaned down, kissing his forehead gently.

"I love you," he whispered, knowing Arthur probably wouldn't hear or remember this, before he went across the room and crawled into his own bed.

((()))

Merlin had discovered, when he woke up, that Morgana had volunteered to watch Mordred in the morning to let Gaius sleep a little more. She caressed his hair lightly, looking down on him like a mother might look on her child. She seemed very worried about him and promised Merlin she wouldn't use any magic to try and help him, but only because it might kill him. He smiled and brought her breakfast and she thanked him politely.

Most everyone woke up late that morning, including Arthur, and with the exceptions of Merlin, Morgana, and Freya. Merlin blearily made a stack of pancakes for the knights and covered them with syrup and set up the table for breakfast after he had brought Morgana her pancakes. Freya didn't look at Merlin, but at one point, she tried to corner him to talk to him again, and he quickly made sure he was otherwise occupied.

In the midst of a conversation with Leon and Lancelot, Merlin froze, feeling something had been disturbed. Leon asked him what was wrong, but then a second later, they all knew it was wrong. A sharp shriek came from the other room and Morgana screamed,

"Merlin!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry this chapter took a little longer, I've been pretty busy. Thanks again for all the support, keep posting those reviews, please! They really do make my day and I love them, even if they're short. I do not own Merlin. Enjoy Chapter 9! (should be wrapping this up around chapter 11 or 12)**

Everyone jumped and immediately looked alarmed. It wasn't a yell of anger or aggression, but one of fear. Merlin was the first to react, jumping up from the chair and rushing to Morgana and Mordred. He was about to ask what was wrong as he looked around wildly, and suddenly saw that Mordred's eyes were open and they looked normal, but he wasn't moving at all, not breathing. His eyes were lively and full of life, but when Merlin put a hand on his neck, it was cold and his skin was a faint tint of blue.

He was dead.

Merlin frowned, looking at Mordred's eyes and shuddered slightly. The color was still clear, his eyes not glazed over like they would be if he was dead. Properly dead. But Merlin did judge that he was dead, his eyes would not change that.

"Oh Mordred….I'm sorry," Merlin said quietly. He reached forward to close his eyes for him, when Mordred's hand shot up to grab him around the wrist. Merlin gave a small yell. By this point, everyone was gathered around and they all jumped when Merlin did.

"Merlin?" his voice rasped quietly. He sat up slowly, his hand gripping Merlin's wrist tightly to help him sit up. Merlin was partly in shock and partly mortified.

"Mordred, you're dead," he said sternly. He didn't say it to be mean, but rather because he was very confused at this point.

"Am I?" he asked, observing his very slightly blue-tinted skin and frowning. He looked around just as slowly and everyone was just staring with their mouths slightly ajar. "The voices...they've gone," he spoke again.

"Um...good," Merlin replied, "I think that's good." Mordred nodded in his zombielike state, his bright blue eyes even brighter than perhaps they should have been. It was silent for another minute before there was a far-off bark from Bear. It made everyone jump again and soon Bear was tearing into the room. Gwaine yelped when Bear knocked into him and fell sideways, Percival catching him around the elbows and propping him back up.

Mordred observed the dog calmly. He didn't seem troubled by the fact that Gwaine's dog had its fur and haunches completely on edge and was growling aggressively at him. Percival stepped forward and slid his hand under the dog's collar to pull him back, but now he was up to his thigh and was almost stronger than he was. Bear didn't move, keeping his eyes locked on Mordred and kept growling and bearing his teeth.

"Bear!" Gwaine called sharply. The dog did not respond. Merlin frowned. He glanced at Mordred and back at the aggressive dog. Bear was one of the most affectionate dogs Merlin had ever seen, and he had lived a long time, and he loved Mordred, Gwaine, and Percival, and now he wasn't responding to any of them.

"Do not worry," Mordred murmured. He brought up a hand and waved it slowly in front of the dog's face. Bear stopped, straightening up, before his legs suddenly gave way and he fell the floor, eyes shut. Gwaine and Percival gave a yelp and ran to him, and Gwaine looked up and demanded,

"What did you do to him?" When Mordred didn't answer, Gwaine walked up to him aggressively and put a hand lightly around his neck and said, "I gave you another chance. I will ask you one. More. Time. What. Did you do. To my dog?" At this point he was growling in Mordred's face. Everyone seemed hesitant to stop him. Merlin put a light hand on Gwaine's shoulder.

"Gwaine, don't-" Gwaine smacked his hand away. Merlin went over to the dog and put a hand on his head, closing his eyes to listen. Gwaine tightened his grip on Mordred's neck, but he still did not respond.

"Gwaine, he's not dead, he's sleeping," Merlin called. Percival looked relieved and Gwaine released his grip on Mordred, but kept a steady frown as he stared at him.

"What's wrong with him?" he asked Merlin.

"I don't know, honestly."

"Well, find out," Gwaine growled, before grabbing Percival by the arm and lifting Bear by himself out of the room and into his own room. Merlin watched helplessly and then he looked at everyone else. Most of the knights looked disappointed, as if they had expected this to happen, but didn't want to believe it would. Gwen was comforting Morgana, who looked terrified and upset. Gaius was looking at Merlin expectantly, and so was Freya. Arthur didn't meet his gaze. Merlin glanced back at Mordred, who looked dreamy and not aware of his surroundings.

Merlin frowned at him, before pulling two objects out of his pockets and walking over to the dead Druid. He attached the magical inhibitors to his wrist, using both for extra precaution and then stepped back. Mordred did not protest, just looking at them curiously and smiling mindlessly at Merlin. Merlin eyed him warily and tried to send him a message in his mind. Mordred showed no indication he had heard and as Merlin tried to search for that connection, like looking for a contact on a phone, but found nothing. Mordred wasn't there. Something else had filled his head.

The lake was controlling him.

((()))

Merlin packed up a few necessities and tried to head out the door quietly. Gwaine had not protested when Mordred came in to sleep in their room again that night, but Merlin was next to positive he wasn't sleeping. This made him nervous, but Mordred had no power without his magic. As Merlin tried to creep out of the cottage to look for answers at the lake, he heard a floorboard creak behind him.

"Where are you going?" a voice demanded. Merlin hissed in dissatisfaction and turned around. Sure enough, a tall figure with arms crossed eyed him warily.

"Arthur," he hissed, "You're supposed to be asleep."

"So are you."

"I'm busy."

"With what?"

"I'm trying to help Mordred get better! Go back to sleep!"

"_Mer_lin." Merlin heard a slight twinge of longing in his voice when he said his name, and he felt the same longing in his heart. He didn't want to be upset with Arthur anymore. But he needed to protect him.

"You can't come," he said firmly. Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"You couldn't stop me if you wanted to."

"I have magic."

"You won't use it on me."

"Want to bet?"

"You won't."

"I have before."

"When my life was in immediate danger."

"It is in immediate danger, it is _always_ in immediate danger as long as Mordred is like this." Arthur glanced around and said sardonically,

"Don't see any imminent danger now." He stepped into the moonlight closer to Merlin until they were about a foot away. Merlin looked defiantly at him, raising his chin, and Arthur looked down at him with a challenging gaze.

"Arthur….I'm trying to keep you safe," Merlin protested.

"And you're doing a great job, just like you always have," Arthur said quietly. Merlin's heart was pounding in his chest and he was sure Arthur could hear it. "And I'm coming with you, whether you like it or not. You always followed me into danger when I've told you not to so you could make sure I was okay. And now I'm doing the same for you." Merlin huffed loudly,

"Not this time. And you don't owe me anything, don't think you do."

"I owe you everything and think about it. Aren't I safer with you than here with Mordred?" Merlin whined slightly at Arthur's logic,

"Maybe, but...I'm going to the lake, that may be even more dangerous." Arthur's eyes widened.

"The lake? Merlin, you can't, it will control you-"

"I know that's a risk and that's why I don't want you to come. Besides, I'm aware it might happen now and I'm next to positive I can make sure that doesn't happen again."

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Well that's totally not a huge risk then," he said sarcastically.

"Please," Merlin pleaded, "Please stay here and stay safe. Freya can protect you. She's controlled her transformation into a Bastet, so she can use it to her advantage." Arthur let out a disappointed breath. He really expected Merlin to give in. He looked down sadly at his hands.

"Alright," he said finally, "But you'd better not come back dead or possessed, or I will kill you myself!" Merlin smirked.

"Even if I'm already dead?"

"Even if you're already dead, I will find a way to kill you again."

"Okay, Arthur." Suddenly Arthur swooped down and pecked Merlin's lips lightly.

"Be safe. Have fun," he smirked. Merlin took a minute to recover, his eyes wide with surprise.

"Okay. I will," he squeaked, before heading out the door. He grinned widely when he left the cottage, his cheeks burning with emotion. He hoped he would come back soon. He hoped this wasn't a mistake.

((()))

Merlin stood on the edge of the island, staring at the water defiantly as if it might just pull him down with no warning.

"I know you're there," he said, his voice shaking, "Show yourself." He could have sworn he heard the water chuckle in light amusement. He watched it for another minute before he heard a trickle as the body of the lake started piling on itself to form a body. A woman walked out of the water, a figure Merlin recognized. She was just made of water and theoretically she couldn't hurt him, but he wasn't keen to test that.

"Emrys," she hissed, her eyes burning, but her voice cold and amused.

"Morgause," he greeted her, taking a couple steps back.

"You have taken my sister," she said simply, "Why?"

"She came of her own free will. She loved you, but she wanted nothing more than to be loved again."

"I loved her!" Morgause hissed again, "Mordred loved her too, and Agravaine!"

"Not the way she wanted to be loved," Merlin answered as if teaching her a school lesson, "She knew she was being manipulated by all of them."

"I did not manipulate her! She shared my will and tried to help me carry through with it." Morgause sounded furious.

"So this is partly about Morgana then," Merlin said, trying to make his voice stop shaking slightly.

"Yes…." Morgause growled, "You took her from me!"

"She did that herself."

"You deceived her into thinking you loved her, but you do not."

"Not me, perhaps, but Gwen and Arthur did at one time, and are trying to do so again," he said casually, "So what do you want?"

"We told you what we want."

"And I told you, you can't have it. So why the sudden interest? You never bothered us before."

"You….disturbed us." Merlin frowned.

"I did not mean to. How?"

Morgause grinned as if triumphant all of a sudden.. "You brought your friends back to life."

"Not on purpose! You were controlling me!" he protested. She shook her head.

"No, Emrys, we did not possess you. You wanted it with your whole being, but you knew the consequences. So we gave you the willpower to do it in a moment of weakness."

"So what are you saying?" Morgause shook her head, still grinning.

"I cannot help you. Nimeuh is coming, she wishes to speak to you." Merlin frowned and gave a sharp intake of breath when the water form changed into the form of Nimeuh. She smiled with her cold smile that always gave Merlin shivers. She was his first real opponent.

"Well hello, Merlin," she said, "What brings you here?" She smirked. She knew the answer, and she was acting as if she had just told a funny joke.

"I killed you, Nimeuh," he said boldly, "I wouldn't be so cocky if I were you."

"Ahh yes," she replied, not wavering, "You were young and clueless as to what you were doing."

"I knew exactly what I was doing," he hissed, "And it was the right decision."

"To save Gaius, yes, perhaps," she said, "But you made a mistake in bringing him back again."

"That's what Morgause told me. What is the significance of bringing them back? What has it done?"

She giggled. "You have awoken us and disrupted the balance of the world. No one died in their place. Freya was right to tell you something was wrong, Merlin, and you should have listened." Merlin's eyes widened.

"So what does that mean?" he demanded, "What do I do to right things again?"

"Well I can tell you," she said smoothly, "But you're not going to like it, or do it, really."

"Tell me," Merlin demanded. Nimeuh looked thoughtful for a minute before responding.

_"You must send your companions back from whence they came,_

_Or you must once again fear the wrath of Arthur's Bane._"

"Send them back…? But I can't…" Nimeuh laughed, the cold tone chilling his bones.

"'Tis the only way, Merlin," she chuckled. She paused before a sudden expression of fear came over her and she doubled over in pain, screaming,

"I am sorry! I thought he was to know! It was told it was told! I am sorry, he was to know!" Merlin covered his eyes as her water-based figure exploded and water slapped him in the face. He was careful not to touch it if he could help it, but where it touched it, it burned him. He clenched his teeth together, feeling the remaining spirits pulling at him, trying to kill or control him. He let out a loud shriek that he only used in emergencies, and all presences within the perimeter of the lake were either obliterated or blown away. The lake was silent after that, the water just slapping the shore lightly.

Merlin walked back across the lake, careful not to touch the water by levitating slightly above it, and found himself at the lakeside again. A bush rustled when he got there, and he stuck his hands out in defense before he saw a familiar head pop up with a familiar glare on his face.

"Arthur!" Merlin hissed in indignation, "I almost blasted you! You scared me!" Arthur looked like a deer in the headlights as he pointed at the island.

"What the hell was that?" he asked, sounding incredibly worried, "You were talking and talking and talking and then lightning came down and blasted something and shocked the water and you were screaming, I could hear you from here and I called out for you and you didn't hear me and I tripped and the water hurt me!" he narrated quickly. Then he stuck out his arm for Merlin to see an angry red burn down his forearm. Merlin reached out to put a finger on it, but Arthur pulled it away.

"I'm trying to heal it, you clotpole!" he snapped, "You weren't supposed to be here, I told you to stay home!" Arthur rolled his eyes and let Merlin heal it. Only a long thin white scar remained when he as finished.

"Yeah, like I was going to let you go alone. Come on, Merlin, even you're not that thick." Merlin held his ground.

"You can 't just….what happened if you….what about…" he stammered, "I wouldn't be able to bear it if you were killed, Arthur! They want _you_!" Merlin glared at him and Arthur looked hurt.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. But you're my friend and we should always be together," he said firmly, "And nothing is going to convince me otherwise. You always followed me around to the point where I was willing to throttle you, and yet you did it anyway."

"That was different! My destiny is to protect you!" Merlin protested.

Arthur raised an eyebrow and reminded him, "You said we're two sides of the same coin. Doesn't the same apply to me for you?" Once again, the logic of Arthur Pendragon won Merlin over and he replied,

"Okay, I guess. But don't scare me like that again! At least tell me you're still going to follow me!" Arthur smirked.

"Alright. Idiot." He ruffled his hair affectionately as Merlin mumbled,

"Clotpole…" Arthur pulled him into a headlock and noogied him.

"Shut up, Merlin."

"Never!" he laughed, trying to swat Arthur away.

((()))

They walked back to the cottage, Merlin's hand entwined in Arthur's. As they rounded the corner to the cottage, Merlin heard a loud scream and barking from Bear. The two looked at each other in mutual fear and they hurried into the house, releasing each other's hands. A yell of rage came from within and Merlin quickly located the source of the problem. It came from Morgana's room. Merlin found the hallway clogged by people trying to get into the room, the door shut by magic, it appeared. Gwaine turned and saw Merlin, fear and anger in his eyes.

"Merlin! Mordred's gone nuts, he's locked in there with Morgana and Gwen and both of the girls are freaking out! I don't know what's going on!" He gave the door another good shove, but it didn't even shudder. "Get our weapons," he hissed at Merlin. Merlin hesitated for a minute before rushing to the chest where he had put a magical seal on the weapons. He opened it quickly and with Arthur's help, they hobbled into the hallway and the knights grabbed their swords. Freya was working on the door with her own magic, but it wasn't helping, and it threw her backwards every time she tried. There was only one person Merlin didn't see.

"Lancelot, where's Gaius?" Merlin asked his friend.

"I think he's in the room with the herbs, making sure he has some to help. And he's also trying to figure out what happened to Mordred. It's not as simple as it seems, he said." Merlin nodded and went to go find his old mentor. If he knew what was wrong with Mordred, he could try to fix him. The knights behind him kept trying to hack at the door uselessly.

"Gaius!" Merlin exclaimed as he sprang into the room, "Do you know what it is?" Gaius glanced at him.

"Oh good, you're back. One second. I'm still working on it. But I fear…." he trailed off, flipping pages back and forth in his book.

"What is it?" Merlin asked anxiously. Gaius gestured him over and informed him quietly,

"I fear it's too late for Mordred, for one thing. He's gone. It is not him attacking Morgana and Gwen, it is something else living inside him."

"I figured that much. I hope wherever he is, the real Mordred is happy. He really did try to save us," Merlin replied a little sadly.

"Well, yes, but here's another thing," Gaius continued, "You'll need that sword of Arthur's again. I think the rest of the century is rather lacking in swords forged in the dragon's breath, what about you?" Merlin nodded and replied,

"Oh wait. But Freya isn't in the lake which means….I can't get to the sword without going in there. Gaius, what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know. But if you don't go and get it properly, it will come out its proper age and basically be dust. So summoning it won't work, you'll need to get down there yourself. Or appease the spirits long enough to."

"Brilliant," Merlin muttered, "Totally easy. Everyone who's ever hated me is in that lake, you know. I'm sure they'll just let me pass."

"Well is there anything you can give them?"

"Ah yes, brilliant, Gaius. I shall hand them Arthur's soul and then they'll leave us alone and I won't need the sword in the first place. Absolutely novel idea."

"Anything else?"

"Well...Morgause said something about Morgana, but they can't have her either." Gaius made a face. "I can't just throw her in there! That's not fair to her or us!"

Gaius continued making the face at Merlin. The face that said, 'You'd better not screw up, Merlin. You should do the right thing, Merlin.' "Gaius!" Merlin protested. Gaius stopped, but sighed.

"I think you should do whatever you think is best, Merlin," he told him, "Just make sure it's best for everyone else, too." Merlin huffed impatiently and went out to find the rest of the party. The door was still firmly closed, but in a small flare of rage and frustration, Merlin blasted it open. Mordred was there with Morgana and Gwen. Morgana had her arms out in front of her in defense and her eyes glowed gold as she tried to use magic against him, but it made little difference. Mordred was being held back by Gwen, who was trying to keep him away from Morgana, but it wasn't helping much either. Merlin gestured for Morgana to get out and for Gwen to back away slowly and then run away too. All of the knights rushed at Mordred the second that the girls weren't in danger and clobbered him with everything they had, but also with little effect. He was already dead, he couldn't get much dead-er. He tried to advance past them until Freya suddenly shook her head and transformed into a Bastet. While she couldn't kill him perhaps, she could certainly pin him down for a while. With a huge paw the width of a man's whole chest and then some, she pushed Mordred to the floor easily and bared her teeth at him, growling aggressively. Mordred did not look worried by this at all.

Merlin walked away from the scene was Mordred was contained by his own magic plus Freya watching over him in her Bastet form, and grabbed Arthur and Morgana by the wrist, steering them away into a secluded room. Morgana still looked terrified and Arthur just confused. He tried to comfort her on the way to wherever Merlin was taking them, but with little success.

"Merlin, what happened?" both of them asked at the same time.

"Working on it," he mumbled, "Sit down." Without further delay, he pushed them down on the couch behind them and he sat on a chair across from them. He put his hand on his forehead and started, "Okay, look…."

"I spoke to the vengeful spirits from the Lake and they told me something….I didn't really want to hear. You two are the most important for this besides Mordred, but he's out to lunch, so you two'll just have to do." He paused before continuing, "I accidentally brought everyone I was closest with back to life, including you, Morgana, and Mordred." Morgana looked calmer at this point, but she was drinking in his words, as was Arthur. "Morgause was there. She, ah, she told me that it was a mistake. That wasn't meant to happen."

"Wait-" Morgana interrupted, narrowing her eyes, "Wasn't this what you were arguing with Freya about?"

"Excuse me?"

"She didn't tell me, per say, but she was upset the other day and I kind of coaxed her into telling me what was wrong."

_"Morgana_," Merlin reprimanded.

"Well, is it?" she pressed.

"Yes, but that's not really-"

"My business? Since when have I ever butted out?" Morgana chuckled, "You know me better than that, Merlin." Merlin felt the corners of his mouth want to curl up, but he kept the scowl on his face as best he could.

"Let him finish, Morgana," Arthur interjected. She nodded and gestured for Merlin to continue.

"So then Nimeuh showed up and told me something I don't think they liked. They said that to put the spirits to rest again, I have to kind of re-balance out the universe because no one died when you guys came back…"

"So you're telling us we have to die again," Morgana cleared up.

"Not exactly...well, yes. I mean, Arthur's supposed to be here. The rest of you….aren't. It's not really my choice," Merlin apologized. Morgana raised an eyebrow at Arthur.

"Quite frankly, I think if you'd had a choice, you'd choose him over us any day," she told him. Merlin frowned at her.

"I would not! You don't know that!" he told her. Arthur looked solemn, but Morgana snorted,

"You would so." Arthur looked torn between denying it as well or asking Merlin silently to say he would and reassure him.

"It doesn't matter who I would pick, it's not my decision," he argued. Morgana rolled her eyes and leaned back against the couch, flicking Arthur's hair with her fingers, making him jump.

"Why are you so tense, brother?"

"Don't," Arthur snapped. He looked too serious for Merlin's liking.

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked him with concern.

"I'm fine. Besides the fact that we're being attacked in our own home and we have to go kill our friends to make sure the bloody lake is happy. But other than that I'm perfectly alright," Arthur snapped again. Merlin let out a hesitant hiss and said,

"You haven't heard the worst part yet." He told them about how sending Morgana into the lake might save the rest of them.

"So you're not even sure this will work?" Arthur asked.

"Not really, no. There's a good chance, but it's not for certain." He looked at Morgana, "It's completely up to you, I'm not going to force you to do anything."

"I don't want to - I can't go back there with them anymore. Not after I've come back to you guys. They'd make sure my spirit disappeared or something," Morgana said slowly, her voice shaking at the idea.

"I can do my best to protect you from that, but I can't promise anything," Merlin said seriously, "But you do have a good amount of power on your own, you may be able to fend them off until you're safe." Morgana sucked in a breath.

"I'll think about it," she said to them. Arthur nodded approval, but then asked,

"So what's our plan B if this doesn't work or she doesn't want to do it?"

"We'll improvise, like always," Merlin said brightly, "It always works!"

"Almost always," Arthur reminded him, "Almost. And we can't afford an almost." Merlin rolled his eyes and shooed them. He then went to find Freya.

((()))

Merlin found his friend still watching over Mordred.

"Freya?" he whispered. She was biting her lip and she jumped when she heard him, evidently not expecting him to be there.

"Merlin, hi!" she said quietly. Mordred was encased in glass at the moment, but heavy duty enough to hold him or at least keep him confused long enough to contain him. "He hasn't, uh, done anything," she cleared up.

"I'm not here about Mordred, I wanted to say sorry."

"What for?"

"Oh please, you've been waiting for me to say it haven't you?"

"….Sure, whatever makes you happy."

"Okay, so I'm sorry for not believing you about everyone being back as a bad thing."

"Right...who've you been talking to?"

"Why would you assume-?"

"Merlin, you don't apologize for no good reason."

"….Nimeuh told me on the island when I was looking for answers. She gave me the one I needed. You were exactly right."

"Thanks, I thought so too. Listen to me next time?" Merlin smirked at her.

"Maybe." She smiled and hugged him, her head meeting only his shoulders because she was so short.

"Friends again?"

"Friends," he affirmed, "I can keep watch for today if you want."

"Are you sure?" she asked, looking worried, "You already look so tired…" And he was, quite frankly, exhausted. Hopefully this would be over soon.

"Of course," he assured her. She smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, Merlin," she said sweetly.

"No problem," he said, leaning back against the wall.

Sleep came over Merlin quickly, after being out all night, faster than he wanted to, and he awoke with a familiar curve of another body next to him. He opened his eyes to see Arthur, faithful as ever, sitting next to him watching Mordred.

"Ah, nice to see you awake," Arthur said sarcastically, "Did you have a nice sleep? Sleeping on the job? Not that that's never happened before." Merlin smiled. Those were good times.

"Yes, I did. I have to say it's more comfortable here than in horse dung," he replied snarkily.

"Good for you. So while you were sleeping, I was watching the dangerous Mordred creature," Arthur snapped.

"Thank you," Merlin squeaked, resisting the urge to call him 'sire'. Arthur snorted,

"I'm going to nap, we had a long night last night at the lake." Merlin nodded, but then pulled him back down when he stood.

"Stay here, its not so bad," he suggested. Arthur gave him an apologetic look.

"Sorry, Merlin, not now. Being around Mordred now makes me feel...funny."

"Funny haha or funny how?" Merlin asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Not sure. Just eerie, I guess. Anyhow, I'm sure I'll have nightmares, even with you here. I can't."

"Okay. I'll see you later then," Merlin said, slightly disappointed. He felt safer with Arthur by his side, but Arthur was right. He needed to sleep and Merlin didn't want him to have nightmares. He didn't want him to end up like Mordred.

A familiar face rounded the corner and saw Merlin sitting by Mordred's container.

"Leon!" Merlin exclaimed brightly, "I haven't had much of a chance to talk to you, how are you doing?" Leon smiled and nodded at him, walking over to sit with him.

"I'm okay, Merlin," he sighed. He was still very handsome, his light curly hair flipping over his face a little and the beard still scraggly as always. "I'm actually worried about Gwaine." Merlin glanced at him.

"What's wrong with Gwaine?"

"Nothing, I hope. I just think this is hard for him. Harder than it is on the rest of us. Mordred always went to him first for help or guidance, and Gwaine loved him like a little brother. I mean, we all did. But Gwaine was probably the most fond of him. But Percival says he's barely talking, which is incredibly unusual for him. He's also drinking more, which is more like him, but usually he shows some type of control," Leon confessed, "I'm just worried and I'm not sure what to do." Merlin nodded.

"Why aren't you talking to the other knights about this? What can I do?"

Leon scratched the back of his neck uncertainly and replied, "I don't know. You're one of his best friends, to be honest. You and Gwaine are very close and he'll do anything for you."

"He'd do the same for any of us."

"Well….yes and no. He'd apply logic to trying to come and save any of us, for you he'd just blunder through blindly and make sure we got there as fast as possible and figure out a plan once we got there."

"Okay, so then how does that help me help him?"

"I don't know, but I think you need to talk to him. I'll hang out here and holler if there's a problem."

"Thanks, Leon."

"INo problem, Merlin..."

((()))

Merlin knocked on the wooden door to Gwaine and Percival's chambers. He heard nothing but silence.

"Gwaine?" he called, nervous as to what he might find, "Gwaine, it's Merlin. Let me in." When there wasn't a reply, he sighed and unlocked the door with his magic. He poked open the door and it creaked as it did so. He saw Gwaine lying on the bottom bunk of the bunk bed he and Percival owned, his eyes just staring at the ceiling. His chest rose and fell slowly and he had a scowl on his fac.e

"Hi," Merlin said awkwardly. He walked over to where he was lying and sat on the bed next to him. "Hey come on, Leon's worried. Everyone's worried. Please tell me how we can help you." Gwaine groaned and glanced at him.

"I have a hangover, Merlin, that's all," he grumbled. Without warning he sat up suddenly and leaned over a bucket by the bed and vomited into it. Merlin grimaced and waved his hand to wipe it clean magically. "You and your stupid magic…" Gwaine grumbled, turning over. Merlin frowned and put a hand on his shoulder to turn him back towards him.

"Leon says it has something to do with Mordred," Merlin suggested.

"Remind me to give Leon a good smack, will you?" Gwaine replied grumpily.

"I won't; you and Leon are like brothers."

"And brothers fight and brothers do stupid things."

"So is this about Mordred?"

"No, I have a hangover, I told you," Gwaine answered stubbornly.

_"Gwaine_," Merlin demanded firmly, "Please talk to me. I'm your friend."

"So was he," Gwaine started to give in.

"So it is Mordred."

"Would you quit asking that?"

"Well-"

"Yes, it is. He's an idiot and I shouldn't have let him do stupid things."

"This has nothing to do with you, you know. Mordred made his own choice."

"What if I'd helped him back in Camelot when he was trying to escape with his girl? Maybe he wouldn't have joined Morgana and then come back like this and then get into all this trouble."

"That's a lot of maybes. You can't know that for sure."

"But maybe!"

"Yeah and maybe you would have been branded a traitor as well as him."

"Arthur wouldn't do that."

"He would have had to."

"Well then what about now? How did he even get like this? Everything was great! "

Merlin inhaled sharply. "He, uh, well the lake spirits took hold of him when he didn't expect it and I tried to help him, but….well it made it worse and ultimately it's put him this way. But I'm not sure it could have been avoided."

"Losing him once was enough. Losing him again like this just sucks donkey balls."

"Donkey balls?"

"I've been in this century too long."

"Obviously."

"He's like family to me."

"I know."

"Is there anything we can do?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"It's….it's fine, it's not your fault."

"You think it is."

"I don't. I understand."

"Okay, Gwaine." Merlin sighed and sat him up slowly. "You need to start acting normally again, then. We can mourn for him later, but for now, we need to get out of danger." Gwaine looked at him sadly.

"I'll try," he replied softly. Merlin gave a tight smile and clapped him on the shoulder.

"I'll see you later, okay? Seriously, feel better, Gwaine. I am sorry." Gwaine nodded and put his head in his hands. Merlin left him like this and hoped to God he would be okay.

((()))

Merlin walked down through the town by himself, just to think. He caught sight of Elion, Leon, and Lancelot bopping around looking relatively happy and he smiled when they saw him. He caught up with Morgana and Gwen eventually, and when they turned to see him, he saw they both looked worried, and rightfully so.

Morgana looked relieved, but also scared when she saw him. She put a hand on his shoulder, as if afraid that he would leave.

"Merlin," she said quickly, "Gwen and I have been talking and I've, ah, I've made my decision." She stopped talking and he asked,

"So what is it?" She swallowed, looking down at her hands, and then looked back up at him and answered,

"I'm going into the lake. If it can help everyone else survive, I will do it." She held her head high, as if trying to prove to someone that she wasn't scared, but Merlin could tell she was terrified. Merlin widened his eyes.

"Really?" he asked incredulously. She nodded and fidgeted with her hands, her eyes fearful, and opened her mouth to ask,

"I just have one question. What are they going to do to me, Merlin?"


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone! Sorry the chapters are taking a little longer, I do have school and its a bit taxing at the moment. I'm trying to get a chapter up once a week, so be happy! :D Anywho, I don't own Merlin, please review, I love reviews! Thanks for reading! **

Merlin bit his lip and answered uncertainly, "To be honest, I'm not sure. They may try to take you back, or they may try to….destroy you." Gwen frowned worriedly and turned to Morgana and said,

"Are you sure you want to do this? I've only just gotten you back, Morgana, and you're my best friend." Morgana smiled sadly at her.

"I have to, I think," Morgana answered, "And if it will save the rest of you it may be the best thing for me to do...I owe you a lot."

"Isn't there another way?" Gwen asked Merlin. He shrugged.

"Not unless you know another sword forged in the dragon's breath," he replied simply. Gwen glared at him, which made Merlin flinch, since he almost never held a reproachful gaze from kindly Gwen. Morgana interrupted their silent messages and said firmly,

"I'd like to go_ now_." Gwen tore her gaze away from Merlin and looked at her.

"But you can't! Morgana, you don't have to do this, we'll find another way-"

"The longer we wait, the stronger Mordred and the lake spirits get and none of you can afford that kind of time," she said quietly, "And besides, I deserve it. For everything I've done, so many people I've killed and manipulated and changed, I deserve it." She looked incredibly guilty. Merlin looked at her seriously, and told her,

"No, I don't think you deserve it. Not quite. I'm sure the universe has paid you its due, Morgana." He tilted her chin up, "We started fresh. No one here deserves to die." She gave him a weak smile and stood up a little straighter.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Merlin asked her, "Once you answer yes, there's no going back. Understand?"

Morgana nodded. "I do. If it will save you all, I will." Gwen looked close to tears.

"I'm sorry, Morgana," she apologized, "I'm sorry for what happened to you. And I'm sorry we couldn't reverse it." Morgana hugged her tightly and touched the back of her neck with a finger, her eyes glowing gold for a minute. Gwen collapsed in her arms.

"What did you do?" Merlin asked anxiously, immediately on alert.

"Don't look at me like that, haven't I proved myself enough already?" Morgana snapped, "I'm just putting her to sleep so she doesn't have to come. I don't want this to be harder than it already is, for any of us." Merlin pursed his lips and nodded. He scooped Gwen up in his arms and they found some of the knights in a matter of minutes. Gwaine, Percival, and Leon were the knights, and they were in the only bar in town. Surprise, surprise.

Merlin explained to them a story about Gwen fainting from the sun reflecting off the snow in the village and into her eyes for too long, and giving her some reaction that he had made up. It wasn't a real diagnosis, but it would suffice to get them to carry her home so that Morgana and Merlin could go to the lake without her. The knights quickly agreed, but Gwaine eyed Merlin warily.

"Merlin, what are you up to?" he asked.

"Me? Nothing! Why would you think I was up to something?" Merlin's ears turned red as he crossed his arms defensively.

"You're a horrible liar," Gwaine said, his words slurring slightly, "Seriously." Leon and Percival's eyes went to Gwaine and then to Merlin and back again like they were watching a tennis match.

"And you're an idiot."

"Thanks. So what are you doing?"

"Nothing, I have to take Morgana to the store to get her another….uh, thing, like girl stuff, so you can't come."

"You're not a girl, Merlin."

"You call me one all the time. "

"You're almost there, but you're not. Can't Morgana shop for herself?"

Merlin rolled his eyes and leaned in like he was telling them a secret. "She doesn't know how to get the right bra, she needs help." Morgana heard and smacked him across the back of the head with her hand. "Ow…." he moaned. Gwaine was laughing at both of them, and Percival and Leon looked a bit disturbed.

"Go on, _Mer_lin," Gwaine laughed them out the door, "We'll look after Gwen. Happy bra shopping!" Merlin and Morgana scowled on the way out and Morgana turned to him when they left and hissed,

"Bras? Really? I think I know how to pick out a bra better than you do and you've been here longer than I have! Couldn't you have come up with something better than that?"

Merlin shrugged, smirking at her, "Sorry. I told them once when Arthur and I were sneaking out of the castle that I was teaching him poetry." Morgana's scowl curled up into a smirk matching Merlin's.

"What were you and Arthur sneaking out of the castle for?" Merlin playfully scowled at her.

"Get your head out of the gutter, Morgana," he teased. She chuckled, having understood the joke after Gwen explained it to her when Merlin said it to Gwaine a couple of times.

((()))

Morgana and Merlin found themselves on the island soon enough, having walked across the lake magically. The lake practically hissed under their feet. Merlin stood at the edge of the island when they got there and called out,

"Spirits of the lake, come forward! I have a trade to offer!" At first nothing happened, but the familiar mounting shape of water formed the figure of Agravaine. Morgana hissed in dissatisfaction.

"My Lady," he said coldly, no respect in his voice, "And Merlin. What have you to offer? You know what we want?" Merlin stood straighter and replied,

"In return for the sword, Excalibur, we will give you the lady, Morgana." Morgana swallowed nervously behind him. Agravaine chuckled.

"You believe we would give you the weapon for our downfall for the priestess?" he asked, sounding amused.

"Yes," Merlin said, semi-confidently, "Imagine how much more powerful you would be with her. She could control Mordred much more efficiently, and make him stronger. He may even be resistant to the sword."

"And why would I believe you would give us an advantage?" Merlin turned to Morgana and winked almost imperceptibly. She caught it, but showed no sign that she did. Merlin would have to hope that she did understand what he had to say now.

"Because we need to get rid of her," he said, with a disgusted look on her face, "She hurt all of us beyond repair and she's caused nothing but trouble. And I'm tired. I want this over and done with." Agravaine raised an eyebrow. He was starting to believe him, but wasn't quite there yet.

"So what do you need with the sword?"

"Personally, I'd like to make sure no one can use it again," Merlin lied, "Arthur's still an arrogant pighead, I can't let him or anyone use it! But what if they were to figure out how to get it out of the lake successfully? They'd go on a rampage."

"So why not just bring us Arthur?"

"Because I can't yet," he struggled to find an answer, "And it can't be me. It has to look like an accident, or that it wasn't me, it was Mordred."

Agravaine raised both his eyebrows now. "I don't believe you."

"Well then I'll just kill Morgana here and now and no one can have her. I'd like to get rid of everyone else as soon as possible though, I don't know about you, and she's the most efficient person to do it." He shrugged. "But do what you like." He turned to Morgana, hands outstretched as if he was about to blast her, and Agravaine shouted,

"Wait!" Merlin turned back to him and saw his figure was changing. Morgause quickly took his place. Morgana decided to make this a bit more believable to and rushed to her sister.

"Morgause!" she exclaimed, hugging the watery figure, "Please take me back, I don't want to die for nothing!" she begged. Morgause glared at Merlin.

"He would kill you without batting an eyelash," she spat, "He's done it before." Merlin felt guilt weigh in his heart as he remembered poisoning his friend so long ago, but for good reason. He still regretted that and always would. It wasn't a pleasant memory.

"All you have to give me is the sword," Merlin said slowly, grabbing Morgana by the arm gently to take her away from Morgause, "And then you can have her back."

"It won't do you any good," she hissed, "Once Morgana is in control of Mordred, there's no way you can stop him."

"That's not why I want it, weren't you listening?" Merlin lied, "I'm tired, I want to get rid of my burdens of friends and die already. I need to destroy the sword." He crossed his arms, "So if its no good to me anyway, why can't I have it?"

Morgause frowned and put a hand on Morgana's arm. "Give her to me."

"Give me the sword."

"Morgana!" she said loudly, "Get rid of him!" Morgana tugged her arm out of both of their grips and raised her hands at Merlin so that her back was to Morgause. She mouthed 'Sorry' and looked incredibly guilty as she blasted him with her magic. His world went dark in a matter of seconds and the last thing he saw was the water swallowing Morgana.

((()))

"What happened?" Arthur asked when Gwaine walked in with an unconscious Gwen.

"She passed out from the snow or something," Leon explained. Arthur narrowed his eyes.

"Who told you that?"

"Merlin."

"That's bullshit, then, he was hiding something. Who was he with?"

"Morgana. He was taking her bra shopping or something…" Gwaine laughed. When Gwaine set Gwen down, Arthur took Gwaine by the shoulders and shook him.

"That was total garbage, Gwaine! Couldn't you tell he was hiding something?"

"Well kind of, but I'd had a few drinks…."

"Leon? Percival? _None_ of you noticed something was wrong?" Arthur demanded. Freya came up next to him and asked,

"What's wrong?"

"I think Merlin's gone off with Morgana to the lake. I think she...I think she…crap…." Arthur muttered, putting a hand on his forehead. He had put together the story quickly and Freya widened her eyes.

"Why is he going to the lake?"

"Long story, I can't...I gotta go. Idiot's gonna get himself killed," he cursed. Arthur grabbed his grey hoodie with a black dragon in the middle and threw it on, heading towards the door. Freya caught his arm.

"I'm coming with you."

"No you're not. It's-"

"Too dangerous? Arthur Pendragon, you know me better than that!" she fumed, "I'm probably in better shape to go than you are, and I have magic, and you don't. You're going to need my help if Merlin's in magical trouble, which he probably is." The knights looked at Arthur, expecting a reply. The only ones not present were Gwen and Gaius.

Arthur hesitated before breathing out slowly and then replying with dissatisfaction, "Fine. But we're going _right now_."

"Okay, I'm ready when you are," she chirped.

"What about us?" Gwaine interrupted, "Merlin's our friend, too!" Arthur glared at Gwaine.

"You lot," he said, gesturing to the men, "Need to keep Gaius and Gwen safe and watch Mordred. If he breaks out, its up to you all to make sure he doesn't cause any trouble." Gwaine opened his mouth as if to protest, but then Percival put his hand over Gwaine's big mouth.

"We'll keep them safe, Arthur," he told his friend, "You may not be king anymore, but we will still follow you." As he said this, he looked pointedly at Gwaine and steered him away, Bear following in their footsteps, his tail wagging stupidly. The rest of the knights piled out, but Leon put a hand on Arthur's shoulder.

"Good luck, Arthur," he said, "And take this, just in case." He slid a dagger into Arthur's hand. It wouldn't be much protection, but it was better than nothing and wouldn't draw as much attention as a sword was. Arthur nodded and thanked him, slipping the dagger into his leather boots. Normally, he would be wearing his Converse, but he had slipped on the more practical shoes as they were all talking. Leon nodded at him and went to join the others.

"Let's go," Arthur said as soon as he'd left, steering Freya out the door.

((()))

Merlin was in darkness. He did not dream. He barely had thoughts. He could not see or move or open his eyes. He felt a sharp something by his hand, cutting into it slightly, but he couldn't move to see what it was or stop it from giving him tiny cuts as it moved back and forth as if with the tide.

He stayed like this for a while, or so he thought. It could have been hours or just a few minutes, but he had no idea. But suddenly he was being shaken awake. Someone far away was saying his name. Two someones, in fact. Or was it more? He wasn't sure.

"Merlin!" one called, "Merlin, come on!"

"Don't do this to us, Merlin!" another called to him. This went on for a few minutes before finally he heard something that was enough to wake him.

"_MERLIN_!" It was followed by a particularly hard shake with strong hands and Merlin's eyes were forced open.

Arthur's face was prominent out of the two, having been the one to be holding his shoulders to shake him awake. As Merlin's eyes focused, he saw Freya was behind him, peering over to see if he was okay.

"Oh thank God…" Arthur breathed. He pulled Merlin up and hugged him tightly. At first he was surprised and a little disoriented, but soon his arms wrapped tightly around his best friend.

"Oh hi," Merlin finally said. Freya looked like she'd been crying and her hands were covering her mouth. Arthur didn't let go for another two minutes before holding Merlin out at arm's length. He looked angry and relieved at the same time.

"Don't-don't _do_ that to me!" he complained loudly, "We thought you were dead!"

Merlin rolled his eyes playfully. "Fifteen hundred years hasn't killed me, did you really think I couldn't live through another day?" Arthur smacked him weakly and then released him to let Freya have her way with him. Freya hugged him tightly too, her thin arms around Merlin's neck and her voice shaking. She buried her head in his shoulder and he stroked her hair slowly, trying to coax her into calming down. Merlin glanced up at Arthur and saw him not looking at him, but rather at something next to him. They all stood eventually, brushing the dust off their pants (a skirt in Freya's case), and Arthur leaned down and picked up the hilt of a familiar sword.

"How did you get them to give it to us?" he asked quietly, "Did Morgana really-?"

"Yes. She did and I think she must have convinced Morgause to give it to us. They think it's no use to us and that I have no interest in killing Mordred, but-" Merlin's lips curled up into a smirk, "I lied." Arthur grinned, examining his old sword.

"I'm probably rusty by now...I'm going to have to get some training sessions in when we get back. Shouldn't take me too long to get back into the habit now." He thrust it forward away from them several times and looked incredibly happy to be holding it again.

Freya was quiet, but asked, "Did they believe you?"

"Not quite, I don't think. They may have wanted to believe me, but to be honest, I think they wanted Morgana back more than they were letting on," Merlin said thoughtfully. Freya nodded and smiled at him again. He smiled back and then turned back to Arthur, who lunged at him with Excalibur.

"Woah there, friend," Merlin warned, putting his finger gently on the top of the blade, "Don't run me through, now." Arthur smirked, suddenly remembering something.

"Do I know you?" Merlin grinned in remembrance of the same moment.

"My name's Merlin."

"So I don't know you?"

"No."

"And yet you call me friend?"

"You're right. I could never have a friend who's such an ass."

"Tell me, Merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?" Merlin's grin got wider as he backed away from Arthur walking towards him. "Would you like to learn how? "

"I really wouldn't do that if I were you," Merlin said quietly.

"Why not? I could take you apart in one blow," Arthur replied, his lips twitching into a smirk.

"I could take you apart in less than that." Freya made a disapproving noise behind them, but she looked amused.

"Oh yeah? Try me," Arthur said, his face now very close to Merlin's. Merlin backed up slightly and fake aimed a punch at him and Arthur grabbed his arm and twisted it around his back. He growled in his ear,

"I could have you arrested for that."

"Who do you think you are, the king?"

"No, I'm his son,_ Arthur_." Merlin was about to make a snarky reply when Freya threw her hands up in mock exasperation.

"Oh stop with the flirting, it's making me sick!" she laughed. Arthur smiled mischievously and released Merlin, who had a wide grin on his face from amusement. His face suddenly cleared and turned dark as he turned to Arthur.

"Hang on. Arthur, Freya, why are you here?" They both looked confused.

"We came to save you…." Arthur said quietly.

"This is the worst possible place for you to be, you idiot!" Merlin reprimanded. Arthur flinched as if he'd been hit.

"Not if I'm with you and Freya-"

"Do you realize how much more danger you've put yourselves in? They want you back in the lake and I just threw them Morgana to prevent that!" He turned to Freya, "Why did you let him come?" Her eyes widened as she stammered,

"I didn't...I just…he was coming to get you and I volunteered to come with him….and so did everyone else but he only let me come….and there was absolutely nothing anyone could do to stop him, I promise…"

"Okay, we have to get you back,_ now_," Merlin demanded. He grabbed them both by the arm and ran with them across the water. The lake hissed around the time they were halfway across the lake and seemed to notice they were there. It started to send water shooting up and soon that water turned into long ribbons, all aimed at grabbing Arthur. Merlin pulled him closer to himself and held on to him like his life depended on it. Arthur's_ did_ depend on it, at any rate. They almost reached the shore when a water ribbon caught Arthur around the ankle and tripped him. He yelped in surprise and the lake seemed to get more excited. Merlin fell with him, but got back up quickly. The ribbon around Arthur's ankle did not let go and was trying to pull him under.

See, the mechanics of the whole "soul-catching" idea, was that the water would pull down their target under the water and drown them, and when they died, they would catch the soul before it could escape. Freya used to be able to regulate this type of crime and keep the spirits doing this suppressed, but now that she was not a part of the lake anymore, she was unable to aid them this way. The spirits were able to do this with no consequences now.

Another ribbon twirled up and tried to snag Arthur from the top, but Merlin quickly blocked it with his magic. What he failed to block was a thicker ribbon behind it that came straight for Arthur's torso. Merlin put his hand out to block it, but he heard a shriek of 'No!' and Freya launched her small body at the ribbon. It caught her instead of Arthur and the minute it touched her skin, it caught on fire. She went limp almost instantly and the ribbon dragged her under the water faster than Merlin could react.

"Freya!" he wailed. Arthur, at this point, had recovered, once Merlin had blasted the ribbon off his ankle, and so he stood up and grabbed Merlin by the arm. Merlin stayed where he was, staring at where Freya had disappeared.

"Merlin, _come on_!" Arthur shouted. When Merlin still didn't move, his eyes glittering with tears, Arthur grabbed him around the waist and slung him over his shoulder.

"Cover me!" he called to Merlin and as soon as they started moving again, Merlin closed his mouth and put his hand out behind them, blasting any ribbon that came close. Arthur put him down the minute he realized he was moving again, and took him by the hand to run him to the end of the lake. They collapsed about a hundred yards from the edge, just to be safe and they both collapsed on the grass, coughing and getting their breath back. Merlin was lying on his back staring at the sky and Arthur was lying on his stomach, heaving up water he'd inhaled onto the grass.

"I can't believe we lost her…" Merlin said dreamily, "She knew that ribbon would kill you….she knew….so why…." Once Arthur had recovered, he turned over onto his back next to Merlin.

"She was doing what she thought was right," Arthur said quietly, "And she saved my life."

"She knows I….she knows we're close. But she was also jealous….she still saved your life," Merlin replied.

Arthur glanced at him. "She was jealous?"

"You didn't notice?"

"No."

"You're clueless."

"Jealous of you?"

"No, you arrogant ass, jealous of you. Jealous of my feelings for you."

"….Were you guys like...a couple?"

"Kind of….but that was a long time ago." Arthur looked concerned.

"Did I get in the way of something?"

"Arthur, I love Freya, but not as more than a friend anymore."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. You're fine." Arthur looked troubled.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"No, I mean about losing her."

"Oh. Yeah. Um."

"Really, though. I didn't know her very well before, but I think I could call her a good friend now. And now she's gone because of me."

"Arthur, don't do that to yourself," Merlin started, sitting up to look down at his friend. Arthur closed his eyes.

"But it is my fault. You were right, I shouldn't have been there. I only slowed you down." He fidgeted with the sword next to him, his fingers tracing the smooth edge of the sword.

"You were making sure I was okay. You were trying to save me, Arthur, there's nothing wrong with that," Merlin said quietly. He put his hand on Arthur's and squeezed it reassuringly, giving him a weak smile. Arthur turned his hand over to hold his as well and he sat up and leaned sideways on Merlin's shoulder, having an insane desire to nuzzle his head into the sorcerer's chest and breathe in his familiarity. He did not, but he closed his eyes as he sat there quietly, both still recovering from the shock. Merlin leaned his head on Arthur's and held his hand, rubbing his thumb on the back of his hand.

Suddenly a thought came to Arthur. He sat up suddenly, bumping heads with Merlin and said sharply, "We have to go. I left the knights alone with Mordred and I don't know how they are." Merlin perked up also, but still rubbing his head, and he replied,

"Right. Okay." He glanced at Arthur and asked, "Were we cuddling?"

"Men don't cuddle, Merlin." Merlin grinned sideways at him.

"I don't think men typically like each other either."

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur said, but Merlin saw the tips of his lips twitching upwards, as if suppressing a smile.

((()))

Hoping they wouldn't come around the corner to see the cottage on fire or something equally bad, Merlin pulled Arthur around the corner by the wrist. He gave a small sigh with relief when it wasn't evident that something was wrong. Arthur was gripping the handle of Excalibur tightly, as if afraid it would suddenly disappear. They made their way quickly into the enlarged cottage and into the room where Mordred was.

Most of the knights with the exception of Lancelot and Elion were stationed in a circle around Mordred, who was no longer in his cage. He wasn't moving, but he just looked at them all curiously. Gwaine and Percival were scowling with their swords out, and Bear growling next to them. Leon walked up to them with a tired expression on his face. Merlin quickly made a temporary cage around Mordred for safekeeping while they focused on Leon.

"Mordred broke out," Leon said quietly, looking at both Arthur and Merlin, "His magical bracelets are gone. He burned Elion pretty badly and he….he killed Lancelot." Arthur's eyes widened and Merlin scowled.

"Lancelot…what happened?" Arthur asked. Leon shook his head.

"Mordred started with a blast and only Lancelot and Elion were guarding at the time. Elion was at a farther part of the room sitting down and Lancelot was standing very closely to Mordred where he was supposed to be. Elion feels horrible….Lancelot got the brunt of the blast and he was gone. We heard the blast and Elion was out cold, and we managed to contain Mordred again, but he didn't put up much of a fight. It was like…..he didn't really care at all. He wasn't trying to escape, just trying to do damage I suppose. And he certainly did." Arthur swallowed and nodded. Once again, Lancelot had died for something he believed in, and for Arthur's sake.

"Is Gwen with Lancelot?" he asked after a while. Merlin glanced at him with concern.

"Yes. And Gaius and Elion are there, too. Gwen's very upset, especially with Merlin, I may not go in there if I were-"

"I need to be there, Leon, now or not at all," Arthur said almost defiantly. Leon nodded and muttered,

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

((()))

When Arthur and Merlin walked to Gaius's room to check on Elion and Gwen, they were immediately met by the latter, who glared at both of them. Gwen raised her hand as if to slap Merlin, but then an energy in her seemed to release and she put her head in her hands and sobbed. Arthur raised his eyebrows in concern and pulled her close to him. She buried her head into his chest and cried and Merlin just watched awkwardly. He stepped around them after a moment and went over to Elion.

"How are you?" he asked the drowsy knight. Elion tried to focus on him, but his eyes kept wandering.

"Gaius drugged me up to help with the pain," he chuckled slightly, but then his face turned solemn, "Lancelot wasn't as lucky as I was." Merlin sighed and put his hand on Elion's shoulder.

"There's nothing you could have done, Elion, this isn't your fault." Elion frowned at him and asked tersely,

"Has something like this ever happened to you? You're the hero, Merlin, you always save everyone. I'm just one of the knights, not Elion, just one of the knights."

Merlin was silent for a minute before answering. "We lost Freya out on the lake. I feel like it was my fault even though consciously I know there was nothing I could do. She sacrificed herself to save Arthur and she died doing it." Elion's face relaxed, but he bowed his head slightly.

"I'm sorry, Merlin, I know how much she meant to you." Merlin nodded, but replied weakly,

"Hey look on the bright side, right? You all came back from the dead, so who's to say they're gone for good, eh?" Elion gave him a small smile, thanking him silently for his optimism. "You should sleep now, Elion," Merlin told him. Elion nodded and closed his eyes. Merlin put a hand on his forehead to make the sleep come faster, and a small spell to help with the pain and lessen the drugs' influence on him.

As Merlin stood up, he stumbled and nearly fell back onto his knees. He suddenly felt very weary and he felt his face change to that of an old man's for another second. He was getting weaker by holding this up. He couldn't do this much longer. He had managed it for an impossible feat of time, one that no other could hold, let alone doing other magic while he did it. When he stood back up, he looked around for Gaius, but couldn't see him anywhere. His mentor was probably tending to someone else. That was okay. He would manage. He always managed.

Gwen was still sobbing into Arthur's shoulder and he was still murmuring comforting words to her. Lancelot's body was laid under a sheet now, and Merlin did not dare go near it, for fear of breaking completely. When he looked forward to leave the room, he saw something he had seen thousands of times before, but never had it hurt him more than it did now.

Arthur and Gwen were kissing, gently and sweetly, but her arms were locked around his neck and his arms were locked around her waist, pulling her closer. What was Arthur doing? He and Gwen had split on that last Christmas because of Merlin? It wasn't that he was angry, but more extremely disappointed and felt almost betrayed. He thought Arthur was his now.

_Come now, Merlin, you're being selfish_ said the snarky voice in his head _It's always been Arthur and Gwen, what made you think that he loved you more?_

_But he broke it off with her!_ his heart yelled back _He kissed me, and I thought he was mine….I thought he always was…._

Not wanting Arthur to notice that he'd seen, Merlin wiped away angry tears and stormed out, his fists clenched by his sides. How could Arthur do that to him? His whole world was imploding. The logical part of him said that Arthur and Gwen are still technically married and have rights to be in love and kiss. The emotional side of him said that Arthur was wrong and was betraying him. He didn't know who to listen to. As he rounded the corner, he saw the knights still guarding Mordred. Everything happened at once.

Destiny. Arthur. Love. Camelot. Knights. Magic. Lake. Destiny. Dragon. Time. Time. Magic. Arthur. Gwen. Mordred. Morgana. Dead. Lancelot. Freya. Love. Arthur. Christmas. Mistletoe. No. Not real. Old. Young. Fifteen hundred years. Not real. Real. Not real. Real.

Gwaine looked over and saw Merlin swaying on the spot, his eyes glistening with tears and his hands clenched by his sides. Without warning, Merlin dropped to the floor right in front of him, a small squeak emitting from his mouth as he did so. Gwaine yelped and caught his friend just before he hit the ground.

"Merlin?"


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey again! I hope you enjoy this chapter, there is a great deal of fluff, angst, and a teeny tiny implication of Gwaine/Percival (which I do ship, by the way). I don't own Merlin. Please please review, it motivates me to get these chapters done faster. I know I said I'd wrap it up around now, but I'm still working on it. I'm guessing I'll finish in either next chapter or in Chapter 13, plus an epilogue (you'll see for what later :D). Enjoy and don't forget to review! :)**

Merlin awoke a day later in Gaius's room, his cot next to Elion's, who was still recovering from Mordred's attack.

"Gaius!" Gwaine called when his eyes opened. Gwaine had been sitting on a chair by Merlin's side, keeping watch vigilantly. Bear was sitting dutifully next to him, and his tail started wagging when he saw Merlin wake up.

"Gwaine?" he asked groggily, "What-how long have I been asleep?"

"Just a day. We worried though, Merlin. You keep giving us a scare."

"I'm sorry," he grumbled, "I'm not doing it on purpose."

"Right," Gwaine said, "Anyway, I thought we should let you know, Arthur took care of Mordred. He skewered him the minute he saw you were passed out. Was it Mordred who made you faint?" He looked very concerned and Merlin closed his eyes and swallowed. He remembered what it was. He knew what it was.

"No, I'm -uh, just stressed, is all. Keeping up this aging spell is really taxing on me, that's all. You know we lost Freya, right?" Gwaine nodded sadly.

"So where is the idiot?" Merlin asked, "Arthur, I mean." Gwaine looked faintly amused and if in the proper spirits, he may have made a racy comment, but he wasn't in the proper mood at all. So he just told him,

"He was here earlier with Gwen. They went off somewhere about an hour ago, going to take a walk or something." Merlin felt a familiar pang of jealousy, and it must have shown because Gwaine's expression quickly turned to one of sympathy. Before he could say something, Gaius marched over and laid a hand on Merlin's forehead. He mumbled something incoherent and stepped away to grab a wet cloth. Merlin sat up and tried to move out of bed, but Gaius quickly yelped,

"Stop!" and Gwaine put a hand on his chest and pushed him back down. Merlin scowled at both of them. His head was throbbing, but he needed to find Arthur.

"Merlin, you're not going anywhere," Gaius told him, as if reading his thoughts, "You need rest or you'll kill yourself. Need I remind you how much strain your body is under with the aging spell alone? Not to mention whoever beat you up at the lake and then Mordred and stress beyond what a normal person should be able to take. You are remarkable, Merlin, but even you need to rest sometimes."

"Where's Arthur?" he asked stubbornly, "Either bring him here or I'm going to look for him and you know you can't stop me if it really came down to it." Gwaine widened his eyes in surprise at the implication, but Gaius looked unfazed. Merlin stared Gaius down and Gaius did the same. Merlin glared at him for a good two minutes before Gwaine interrupted,

"Uh...I'll go find Arthur…." Merlin nodded at Gwaine gratefully and shot Gaius another annoyed glare before turning over to be alone with his thoughts.

"Merlin," Gaius said softly after a minute. Merlin didn't reply. He knew he was being unfair, but he was upset and a whole other roll of emotions he didn't want to be, and he didn't need Gaius on top of that telling him what he couldn't do.

"Merlin," his voice came again. He felt Gaius put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm doing this because I care. I don't want something bad to happen to you. And we all care about you. I'm trying to help you." Merlin kept silent. "Fine, be stubborn. I never knew you to be any different." Merlin thought he heard a tad of affection in Gaius's voice. The hand on his shoulder lifted and he heard Gaius walking away.

Merlin's eyelids suddenly felt very heavy and he struggled to keep his eyes open. Sleep took him quickly, but it felt like moments later when his eyes opened again. He blinked and saw Gwaine and Arthur sitting across from him talking. Gwen was nowhere to be seen. Merlin's heart tugged when Arthur noticed he was awake. He looked troubled, but smiled in spite of himself, and Merlin returned the grin. Gwaine smirked when he saw them both grinning like a pair of mischievous children and got up, announcing that he was leaving. Once Gwaine left, Merlin frowned at Arthur.

"What the hell, Arthur?" he demanded. Gaius had followed Gwaine out, so they were completely alone. Arthur's face fell visibly.

"What?" he asked, but he knew what Merlin was trying to get at.

Merlin's voice caught when he tried to respond, so his voice cracked. "I thought you told Gwen it was over. I thought you guys were….not together anymore." Arthur deflated even more, if that was possible, and he looked like a kicked puppy.

"You mean yesterday?" Arthur inquired softly, "That wasn't….I mean that was nothing….she…"

"You both are still technically married," Merlin said harshly, "I understand."

"What's the problem?" Arthur asked, but he immediately saw that was the wrong thing to ask. Merlin immediately set his jaw the way he did when he was really upset and sat up slightly, making his head spin.

"What's the problem? I knew sometimes you could be clueless, Arthur, but you've got to be just plain stupid to not know what the problem is!" Arthur cringed, and opened his mouth to reply, but Merlin blundered on, "I've been holding an aging spell for roughly a year and a half now, first of all, which is taxing on me physically. Not to mention I've been punched, blasted, thrown, hit, bowled over, and a bunch of other things that I would not like to add to my physical stress. On top of that, we've lost Mordred, Morgana, Lancelot, and Freya! We almost lost Elion! Do you even know how stressed I am?" Arthur opened his mouth again, but Merlin didn't let up. He counted the deaths on one hand before continuing, "And on top of all that, of all that bullshit that I've had to deal with since you got your sorry ass out of the lake, you kissed me and led me on and then got all over Gwen again! You told her it was over and encouraged me and led me on, but then you just - how can you do that?" At this point, both of them were close to tears, but Merlin hadn't finished yet. "I know that you are the great Arthur Pendragon, and I believe in you, but you are senseless sometimes, you idiot!"

Merlin was sitting up, his head throbbing from his injuries and now from yelling, and frustrated tears were welling up in his eyes. He wiped them angrily and glared at Arthur, who was sitting across from him. Arthur looked like a deer in the headlights mixed with a deer who had gotten under the headlights and run over by the car. He wasn't sure whether to apologize or defend himself. He wanted Merlin to understand, but he didn't know how to articulate what he wanted to say. His voice came out as a squeak at first, but then he cleared his throat and chose his words carefully.

"I don't want to fight with you," he said slowly, "We used to be a team. We worked together. Nearly equal. But now I feel like you're treating me like a child because you have magic. I'm sorry I wasn't born with that marvelous gift, and I'm sorry that you were terrified about telling anyone for fear of being executed, and I'm sorry for everything else that happened in Camelot, but I am not a child. I know this can be a magical battle, but in case you haven't noticed, I have a magical sword! I can defend myself, I am not inferior to you!" His voice was steadily growing. "You can't just not tell me these things and then expect me to know everything about you and understand. I don't understand you, Merlin, and I don't think I ever will. You can't just blow up in my face every time I ask you what's wrong. I care very much about you and the least you can do is show me you respect me. I have some redeeming qualities too. You don't always have to be the hero." Merlin cringed, now feeling the sting of his words. "I am fully aware of who we've lost and what kind of stress you're under and what ever else, but I asked because I knew there was something more than that."

"But what about-"

"I didn't know you saw me kissing Gwen," he snapped, "And you shouldn't jump to conclusions, genius. She kissed me because it's a reflex whenever she needs to be comforted like she did and that was just something we used to do. It was something she was used to that was familiar to her and I let her take comfort in that. It didn't mean anything to me, at least not as much as it used to and not nearly as much as it means when I'm with you." Arthur was glaring at him intently and Merlin's heart stopped for a minute, he was sure. He felt blood rush to his cheeks and he looked away from Arthur and cleared his throat.

"You mean that?" Merlin asked quietly, looking back at Arthur.

"Of course," Arthur replied kindly. Merlin felt the corners of his lips tugging up, but he didn't want to let them. Eventually, his relief beat his stubbornness and he gave Arthur a small smile. He sat up straighter and put his arms around Arthur's neck, pulling him closer and hugged him tightly, burying his head in his chest. Arthur scooted closer before standing up to make the hug more comfortable and Merlin quickly followed, keeping his body wrapped into Arthur's and allowing himself to breathe in his familiarity. Arthur rested his chin on top of Merlin's head and with one hand, petting his hair lightly.

"You idiot," he muttered affectionately.

"Senseless clotpole," Merlin mumbled.

Arthur released him after a few minutes and looked like he was about to sit down again when Merlin let out a small whine and snatched the front of his shirt. Arthur frowned for a second before Merlin pulled him towards himself and kissed him, slowly releasing his shirt and wrapping his arms around him. Arthur immediately leaned into the kiss and slipped his fingers into Merlin's belt loops to pull him closer and then wrapped his own arms around the other's waist. This felt like the first real kiss they had had. It was special and intimate and affectionate and it was something Merlin had wanted for a long time. It was slow and warm and gentle and innocent. It was perfect.

After what seemed like forever, they heard a slow clap to their left. They both jumped and sprang apart and saw Gwaine standing there, a grin on his face and his hands raised to clap again.

"Gwaine!" Merlin snapped, blushing again, "I thought you left."

"How could I resist staying?" Gwaine asked. When Merlin glared at him for real, he continued, "I really did have a good reason. I heard you guys shouting as I was leaving and I stayed to listen and make sure you weren't tearing each other apart. When it went quiet, I worried. So I came in. You were going at it for a good five minutes before….now."

"You're a dick," Merlin muttered, "Couldn't you just leave it alone?"

Gwaine shrugged. "It's what I'm known for. Sorry. Can't change it. Besides, we're having a small ceremony for Lancelot, Freya, Mordred and Morgana. Four gone in a week, three in one day. Not really what I was hoping for." He looked serious now. Merlin forgave him, and Arthur just looked annoyed. When they didn't respond immediately, Gwaine blurted, "So, you two lovebirds coming?"

Merlin scowled at Gwaine and when they walked past him to leave, he bumped him against the shoulder, but good-naturedly. He was only a little annoyed with Gwaine. Gwaine was who he was and Merlin wouldn't have it any other way.

((()))

Gaius had been bothered w hen he saw Merlin out of bed, but he figured he wasn't going to stop him at this point, and so he let him go to the unofficial send-off for their friends. Gwen cried the most, having lost two people she had loved very much. Everyone had something to say about each of the ones they had lost. Merlin found it especially hard to say something for Freya, and in the crowd of people that made a circle around where he had buried Mordred's body, he found it easy to reach back and look for Arthur's hand. No one saw. Arthur took his hand and squeezed in reassuringly.

The friends separated after Merlin was finished speaking and they went their separate ways. It was evening now, around eight o'clock. Merlin quickly whipped up dinner, not even bothering to spend too much time on it, and instead used his magic to make it, and handed out plates of pasta with marinara. Nobody spoke while they ate, and Gwaine was so agitated, that while he was spinning his spaghetti, he managed to fling most of it onto the floor, which Bear made quick work of. Gwaine scowled and glared at his plate for the remainder of the evening.

When Arthur and Merlin headed off to bed, they shut the door and Merlin asked abruptly, "Can you sleep in my bed again tonight?" Arthur raised an eyebrow and then smiled warmly.

"If you need me to." Merlin nodded and crawled into bed, waiting for Arthur to follow. Arthur changed into sweats and a t-shirt and crawled over him where he usually stayed. Merlin immediately curled into him before pulling Arthur's arm over his shoulder and holding it there. Arthur let him and he got comfortable as well, pulling the covers up closer to both of their shoulders. He nuzzled his head into the crook of Merlin's neck and was content with just cuddling with him like this forever. Not being able to resist, he kissed the back of his neck lightly.

Merlin's neck was warm where Arthur kissed him, and he quickly turned over to face him. They were mere inches away from each other. He chuckled softly in the dark, grinning a grin that Arthur couldn't see as he asked, "How could I fall in love with you of all people? You could do so much better." He was sure Arthur had a cocky smirk on his face now as he replied,

"True. Except not. I don't see who could be better, Merlin. Although I have to say, Mithian and Gwen come pretty clo-OW!" Merlin had smacked him in the shoulder lightly for being cheeky.

"Clotpole."

"You're an idiot, you know that?"

"Why?" Merlin quickly found out because in a matter of seconds, Arthur had pulled his arm behind his back and twisted him into something resembling a pretzel before sitting on him.

"Don't hit me in the dark,_ Mer_lin," Arthur growled playfully in his ear. Merlin smirked while his face was pressed against a pillow and put a hand against the mattress, his eyes glowing gold and he disappeared. Arthur bumped onto the mattress with an 'Oof!' and looked around in confusion. Then he found himself pressed against the mattress with Merlin staring at him and sitting on his chest. He leaned closer towards Arthur's face, stopping when their faces were inches apart.

"Don't sit on me, _Ar_thur," Merlin hissed with the same playful tone. He got off of him after a minute and crawled back into their original position, laying side by side.

Halfway through the night, Arthur decided it was too hot and pulled off his t-shirt before stuffing it into Merlin's previously peaceful face. Merlin spluttered awake and while he was a bit offended by the faint smell of sweat, it mostly smelled good, like Arthur, and he buried his face in it and went back to sleep.

When Merlin woke up the next morning, he glanced guiltily at Freya's empty bed and slid out of Arthur's grasp. It was barely dawn. He made himself a cup of hot cocoa, which was always a comfort drink to him, and then he thought of the last night Mordred had been with them. He stared guiltily at the drink and barely touched it. He wished he could talk to Freya about what he had to do next. He knew one of them would awake this morning complaining of nightmares and they may well go the same way as Mordred. And that would continue until the lake either got what it wanted or killed them all trying. There wasn't much of an option when it came to everyone besides Arthur and Merlin. They would die either way, and Merlin was sure he knew which way they would prefer to go. But he was terrified of telling them.

Gwen found Merlin first. She too had had trouble sleeping and she found Merlin about ten minutes after he himself had woken up. She walked up next to him silently before sitting next to him.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked groggily. She shook her head. Her eyes were still red and puffy from both lack of sleep and lots of tears.

"I can't stop thinking Morgana, Lancelot and Freya. I'm worried about what's become of them," she admitted quietly.

"What about Mordred?" She crinkled her nose in distaste.

"I wasn't really very close to him, to be honest, not ever. Especially not after he killed Arthur and then tried to do it again and killed Lancelot in the process."

"I understand."

"I don't know, Merlin." He glanced at her. What was not to understand? She caught the look and said, "I know you've seen a lot, loads more than I have. But through all we've been through, I've been _helpless_, always. I can't do anything. I stand by and watch it happen and I can't help."

"You can fight really well, Gwen, especially when under pressure and handed a sword," Merlin suggested.

"Yes, but I can't do that now, can I? And most times I didn't have an opportunity to do that. You lot saved my skin more times than I can count," she said bitterly. Merlin was silent for a minute.

"Now I understand a bit more," he admitted, "And you're probably not going to like what I'm going to have to tell the others." Gwen widened her eyes.

"What now?" she asked anxiously.

Merlin huffed slightly in hesitation before telling her, "Nimeuh told me that everyone I brought back from the lake, save for Arthur, are not supposed to be here. It's an imbalance in the universe. Arthur was foretold to return to save Albion again, you all were not." Gwen was starting to look like her old self again, sitting up straighter. Merlin took a deep breath and continued, "I think she's wrong. You all played a part in helping him save Albion again, like always. But I do believe she is correct in saying it has imbalanced the universe. Your return has caused those vengeful spirits to rise again in the lake. Someone will wake up with a nightmare this morning. I don't know who. That person will have the potential of becoming what Mordred became." Gwen covered her mouth with her hand and looked even more worried now. "They will pick us off one by one until they get want. And if they get what they want…" Merlin shrugged. Gwen looked troubled now.

"So what you're saying is….we have to die, to restore balance for them to leave you and Arthur alone," she repeated slowly.

"Yes, I….and I know that's not fair to anyone. There's nothing else I can do. There's not another solution, and believe me, I've tried to find one." This was true. He went through Gaius's magic books with Gaius the other day and found nothing, no solution, and could not find a solution either on those pages nor in his mind. Gwen nodded, her finger tracing her lip thoughtfully. Then she sat up straighter.

"Well, I know what my choice is. All that's left is to tell the others and hope they take it well," she said confidently.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Merlin asked anxiously.

"I don't see another choice. I don't know about everyone else, but I'd rather die to save you and Arthur than to be possessed and have my dead body be used as a puppet." Merlin smiled at her and she returned it with a weak smile.

"Forgive me, Merlin, I'm trying to scrape up some of my courage that has been scattered to the wind."

"Don't worry about it," he replied kindly, "I'm sure you'll find it. It's always in there somewhere, Gwen." She gave him another tight smile and squeezed his hand before getting up and going back to her room to change for the day. He sighed and looked at his hands. He then stood and slowly made his way to the kitchen and slowly put together breakfast. He made chocolate chip pancakes, but he was so out of it that some pancakes had an overdose of chocolate and some had no chips at all.

Everyone slowly made their way to the table as they awoke at different times. Gwaine and Percival quickly picked out the pancakes with the most chocolate and scarfed them down quickly, grinning like little boys, with bits of chocolate around their mouth.

"Charming," Gwen had laughed when she walked in. They all ate slowly and deliberately, as if afraid they might be taken away if they ever left the breakfast table, when Merlin suddenly glanced around.

"Where's Arthur?" Without his noticing, Bear stole his pancakes and swallowed them whole, and when Merlin went to eat them and found his plate to be empty. He scowled at the dog, then looked up again.

"He've probibly still shleeping, that lazshy arshh," Gwaine informed him with his mouth full of pancakes. Percival clapped him on the back when he started coughing and Merlin crinkled his nose.

"Gwaine, that's gross, can't you eat slower?" someone asked. Gwaine shrugged, looking incredibly proud of himself.

"Oh there he is," Gwaine suddenly pointed out a minute later when they heard pounding footsteps on the wooden floor.

Arthur ran into the room, his eyes wild and scared. Thankfully, he had put his shirt back on. Merlin stood up and Arthur leaned on the other end of the table.

"Arthur, what's wrong?" Gaius asked. Arthur was breathing heavily and when he looked back up, Merlin saw guilt as well as fear there.

"I had a nightmare, Gaius," Arthur told them, "A nightmare about the lake."

((()))

Merlin and Gwen immediately paled and the others just looked confused.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly across the table, "Absolutely sure?" Arthur swallowed and nodded. "No one else had any nightmares about the lake?" he addressed everyone. They all shook their heads. "Alright…" Merlin bit his lip. He glanced at Gwen, who nodded.

"I have to tell you something," he announced. Everyone looked at him attentively. After momentary hesitation, Merlin launched into the explanation of the choice they would have to make. Now his friends looked very troubled, and some looked very scared. Arthur looked terrified to learn that if they didn't act quickly, he would become like Morded and it would be all too easy for the lake to control him. Silence fell the minute he stopped talking. Even Bear didn't move, sensing the tension in the room.

"Nimeuh told you this?" Gaius asked, breaking the silence. Merlin sat down and nodded, resting his cheek on his hand.

"Why should we trust anything Nimeuh has to say?" Elion asked, "Wasn't she an old enemy of Camelot?" Merlin nodded again.

"But you missed what happened when she finished, "the warlock answered, "They destroyed her for telling me, and that's what convinced me. If it wasn't true, they wouldn't have bothered. She was a powerful ally for them, and to destroy her for something as simple as that is stupid if it wasn't true." Elion nodded and leaned back again. The knights seemed to accept this explanation, as did Gaius and Gwen. It was silent again before Arthur asked suddenly,

"So how long do we have?" His voice sounded more strategic, like when he was planning an invasion or a defense plan.

"I'd give us a day or two at the most," Merlin shrugged, "I'm really not sure, but not very long."

"I'll do it," said Gwaine suddenly. Merlin glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. "I'd rather go down fighting." He looked like he was trying to stand proud, but he also looked afraid. Percival stood up with him too and said,

"Me too."

"Us as well," chimed Leon and Elion.

"I told you I would," Gwen told Merlin, her eyes sparkling.

"And I," Gaius joined in. Merlin glanced at Arthur and saw his mouth was hanging open slightly.

"You would really do this for us?" Arthur asked seriously.

"We always swore we would," Leon said, "Don't sound so surprised!"

"We're going to die either way," Gwaine added. Percival smacked him.

"Don't say it like that, Gwaine," he snapped, before pulling him into a headlock and giving him a noogie playfully. Merlin almost rolled his eyes at their childish behavior before remembering that he and Arthur did that too. Gwaine was struggling in Percival's grasp, laughing and trying to pull his arms off. Percival was grinning widely. In ordinary circumstances it would be funny, but given the situation, it made it even better. Merlin grinned widely and it caught on to everyone else, who smiled and laughed with them.

Merlin suddenly started to wonder about Gwaine and Percival. If it was possible for he and Arthur, maybe….? They were always together, and always had been ever since they became knights together, and he had noticed their particular closeness over the last few months. This saddened him, because he knew they would have to go back to the land of the dead soon. Maybe in the next few days. He hoped, even if just as friends, they would still find each other there.

Merlin's thoughts were broken by a loud "ARGHH" and he looked up to see Bear tackling both Gwaine and Percival. He knocked both of them over and barked before licking their faces excessively. That finally made Arthur smile and as he pulled the dog off them at their pleading, he looked at Gwaine and teased, "I thought you were supposed to be strength!"

"Shut up, courage, it took you fifteen hundred years to come out of the closet!" Arthur raised an eyebrow and smirked at him before glancing at Percival and then back to Gwaine.

"I can release this dog right now and let it molest you, or you can stop pretending you don't have secrets of your own." His eyes flicked to Percival again, just to tease Gwaine. So he had seen it to. Merlin _wasn't_ crazy. When Gwaine didn't say anything, looking torn between annoyance, amusement, and desperation, Arthur laughed and pulled Bear away and made him behave before walking away and throwing back another heavily implication-filled sentence, "I'd make the best of these last few days if I were you." Merlin walked over to them where they were still laying on the floor and offered them both a hand.

"He's evil," Gwaine muttered so only Merlin could hear, "How could you both possibly have known that?"

Merlin snorted, "So it is true? It's rather obvious if you look for it, Gwaine." Gwaine shot him a glare, but it quickly melted into amusement again and winked at him.

"Okay. Maybe I'll follow his advice."

Merlin nodded and said, "Good." He left to follow Arthur and everyone left in pairs. Gaius was talking quietly with Gwen, and Leon and Elion left to the town, and Gwaine steered Percival his own way, Bear cheerily trotting after them.

((()))

The day was business as usual for the most part, and Merlin remembered a conversation with Arthur from long ago when he saw them joking around in the late afternoon as they walked around the cute little village. They all had fun and enjoyed each other's company. Gaius hung back, not having as much in common with the rest. Merlin paused to speak with him.

"Gaius? Are you okay?" he asked quietly. Gaius looked up at him.

"Oh yes, quite alright. I wasn't fit for this world anyhow. I wish I was needed more, and I don't have as much in common with you young people anyway." Merlin frowned at him thoughtfully and clapped him on the back. Gaius glanced at him, seemingly annoyed.

"Nonsense, Gaius, you're fine! You're the life of the party!" Merlin shouted. Gaius looked embarrassed now when his friends in front of him started turning around.

"No, Merlin, really-"

"Come on, guys, isn't Gaius the best?" Gwaine and Percival looked at each other and smirked before running back and pushing Gaius to the front of the group.

"Gaius! Gaius! Gaius!" they chanted, and Gwen laughed heartily, giving Gaius a sympathetic look. Gaius glanced back at Merlin, looking torn between amusement and annoyance. Gaius decided to enjoy himself for the remainder of the afternoon and let the knights have their fun.

Everyone looked extremely pleased by the end of the day, and fell silent as they passed the lake on the way home. Merlin had bought Chinese take-out for them, probably everyone's favorite. He had only gotten it for them once before and he let them use forks. But he figured now he would have a little fun and make them use chopsticks.

First, Merlin demonstrated how to pick things up with them. Gwen picked it up quite easily and found it fun to use the chopsticks. Gwaine, on the other hand, gave up within minutes and decided to just stab the meat on his plate with the stick and then put it in his mouth that way. Percival tried harder than his friend, but found himself doing the same thing.

Merlin crossed his arms. "How are you going to eat rice and vegetables that way?" he inquired. Gwaine simply smirked and shot back,

"I won't eat rice and vegetables!"

"You'll get scurvy," Percival added, referring to the disease you get from true lack of vegetables.

"I'm not going to live long enough to get scurvy, stupid," Gwaine joked. Percival looked at him disapprovingly, but got over it quickly and started eating again. Leon and Elion caught on after a while, as did Gaius. Arthur just poked things around on his plate before mimicking Gwaine and Percival's solution. Merlin snuck up behind him and tapped him,

"Come on, Arthur, you didn't even try. This is worse than the time you tried to learn how to -" Arthur looked up at him and with no expression on his face, and pointed a chopstick at him,

"What did I tell you about being funny, _Mer_lin?"

"That I shouldn't."

"Good," Arthur smirked, "You're not funny, Merlin."

"Then why are you smiling, you twat?" Merlin joked.

"Just thinking of how stupid your face will look when I stick this chopstick up your nose." Merlin paused for a minute.

"You're not serious?"

"You wanna bet?"

Merlin hesitated for a second before chuckling, "You wouldn't actually-" and was cut off abruptly when Arthur's hand shot up in his direction. He missed by a mile, but Merlin quickly grabbed his hand and plucked the chopstick out of it.

"You could've killed me if you'd stuck that thing up far enough," Merlin commented warily. Gwaine caught the comment and, since he heard it out of context, he yelled obscenely,

"Are you talking about what you two did last night? For god's sake, Merlin, no one wants to hear about that!" Merlin shot him a playful glare before throwing the chopstick at him.

"No, Sir Gwaine, that is not what we were discussing." He looked back down at Arthur, who looked like he was trying to suppress laughter.

"Come on, Arthur, even you have to be above Gwaine's humor-"

"Nope!" Arthur swung an arm around Merlin's neck and pulled him down to give him a noogie like Percival had done to Gwaine earlier, and he heard Arthur growling in his ear, "If I was really trying to stick it up your nose, I wouldn't have missed."

"You have horrible aim," Merlin dared to say. Arthur raised his eyebrows.

"Is that so?" He started rubbing his knuckles against the top of Merlin's head as he held him in a headlock. "What about now?"

"You still do, hurting me isn't going to change that," Merlin said, in between attempts to pry Arthur's strong arms off. Arthur noogied him harder.

"What do you think now, Merlin?"

"I give up, I give up!" the sorcerer gave in. Arthur let go of him and smirked.

"Don't insult my chopstick abilities again," Arthur joked.

"Yeah," snorted Merlin, "You're a bloody genius with chopsticks." Arthur threatened to throw his remaining chopstick at Merlin, but he didn't and began stabbing the meat on his plate again before soaking it in soy sauce.

((()))

Merlin watched Arthur as he got tenser and tenser as the night went on. He seemed terrified of the idea of going to bed, and when 'goodnights' were finally said, everyone seemed to make the extra effort to hug him before he went to sleep. They all hugged each other as well, as if afraid they would never see each other again. Merlin understood the fear. Most likely they would be okay overnight. It was the next day they weren't looking forward to.

When Merlin and Arthur went to bed, Arthur took him by the hand and looked at him pleadingly.

"Merlin," he said in a small voice, "What if-what if I'm gone tomorrow? What if they take me tonight?" Merlin frowned at him.

"You won't be. You'll be okay. I'll make sure of that," he said firmly.

"You can't leave," Arthur said seriously, "You left last night and that's when they came."

Merlin widened his eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't realize...my presence is keeping them away. I don't know how long that's going to hold, but tonight I will make sure you'll be okay. As long as we're both close, I should be able to keep them away or fight them off if they come close." Arthur looked more reassured, never once letting go of Merlin's hand.

When they got into bed, Arthur still had a tight hold of Merlin's hand, his arm around Merlin's shoulder.

"Merlin…" he whispered in the darkness, "I don't want them to die. I never wanted them to die for me. I always thought their loyalty was more to Camelot, and if they died, it was for Camelot, not for me…."

"They have always been this loyal to_ you_, every single one of them," Merlin replied, "They all love you and respect you and are willing to die for you, and its always been that way. They believe in you."

"Well what's the point of them dying now?" Arthur snapped, "There's nothing to gain."

"They are giving both of us a chance at living," Merlin shot back.

"But if I died...I give them all the guarantee of living…" Arthur suddenly said thoughtfully. Merlin turned over to stare at him in the dark.

"Don't you dare," he said quietly, dangerously.

"But think about it, if I just give myself to the spirits of the lake, they'll leave you all alone," he said slowly.

"Arthur," Merlin snapped, "Think about what you're saying. I don't know what will happen if they get your soul, they could become more powerful and kill us anyway."

"But you don't know that," Arthur told him, "You don't, do you? You're not sure if they all die if they'll leave us alone. And you don't know if I give myself up if they'll leave everyone else alone." Merlin felt his throat clogging. Arthur couldn't be serious.

Merlin gripped the front of Arthur's t-shirt in their close quarters. "You will do no such thing," he growled, "I can't live without you and they would all be devastated as well."

"They'll live," Arthur told him, "You can't always have what you want, Merlin. They've done it before, they can do it again. Think about it; it's all like it was when I died the first time. Morgana, Freya, Lancelot, and Mordred had died too. Only Elion's not dead yet. What if I'm supposed to die?" Merlin gripped his shirt harder, twisting it in his hand.

"No," he growled stubbornly, "Arthur, you can't and you won't and I won't let you."

"You've never been able to stop me from doing something I wanted to do."

"And you've never been able to stop me trying." Merlin was glowering now, tears welling up in his eyes again. He buried his face into Arthur's shirt.

"Are you crying?" Arthur asked him quietly.

"No, you idiot, I'm sweating through my eyes. What the hell, Arthur?" Merlin said back crabbily.

"I told you no man is worth your tears, Mer-"

"Don't you say that to me," Merlin snapped, "You and I both know that's not true. And you have always been worth my tears."

"What can I do to make you stop?"

"Promise me you won't sacrifice yourself, you stupid arrogant prathead hero, you."

"Merlin…"

"Do it or I swear to God I will bind you to this bed magically so you can't come to the lake tomorrow morning."

Arthur's voice softened in something like a sigh. "Okay, I promise, only if you do something for me."

"Anything."

"Don't die tomorrow."

"I'll try."

"Promise?"

"I promise, Arthur. Now go to sleep, we'll need it tomorrow!" He slowly unwound his hand from the front of Arthur's shirt, but kept facing him. Arthur gave him a light butterfly kiss on the forehead before grumbling something like "Not good enough" and then leaning forward to cover his lips. Merlin leaned more into him, if possible, and kissed him back eagerly. They stopped when they were both out of breath and Merlin smiled shyly at him.

"Had enough?" Merlin teased.

"Shut up and go to sleep, Merlin." Merlin smirked and he traced Arthur's face with a finger and felt him smirking too.

"Goodnight."

"'Night."

The minute Merlin fell asleep, he knew Arthur was already sleeping. He found himself in a dark forest, very much resembling the Valley of the Fallen Kings. He shivered from the cold and glanced around. Being here made him uncertain. He suddenly saw movement behind him and whipped around. Standing there was none other than Arthur himself, also shivering from the cold. Arthur saw him and yelled in warning,

"Merlin!"


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 yay! I will definitely be finishing this in the next chapter and I will be including an epilogue. Thanks for the support, please please please leave reviews, they help me write faster and let me know you appreciate the fic. I don't own Merlin. Enjoy!**

Merlin ducked and turned around at the same time, holding his hands above his head. When he turned, he saw Aithusa behind him, head pulled back and mouth open, prepared to breath fire. He put his hands out and yelled, "**Gonston starnbe dragona obellion**!" Aithusa didn't even flinch. She breathed out hard and fire rushed at Merlin and Arthur. He put a shield up, but a few sparks got in and burned his hands. Angrily, Merlin yelled at the dragon,

"You must obey me! I am the Dragon Lord!" He felt Arthur grab his wrist from behind and said,

"Come on!" as he pulled him along away from Aithusa. They were suddenly blocked by Morgause. She was sneering at them.

"It's me or the dragon, take your pick," she hissed. Merlin put his hands up to blow her away, but she was faster, and with a quiet whisper, his hands whirled behind his back and a blindfold was put over his eyes. He tried to shout magic at her, but with a flick of her finger, his mouth zipped shut and his feet were bound, and he fell over. He writhed on the floor for a minute, before Morgause put a foot on his chest to hold him still.

"Looks like you couldn't protect your Arthur after all," she said in a sickly sweet voice, "It's a pity, really." She dug her sharp heel into his chest and he groaned. "Have something to say, oh great and powerful Emrys?"

She took the zipper off his mouth and he shouted, "Arthur, run, go!"

"No, none of that…" she muttered, "Come on, something interesting. Arthur's not going anywhere as long as I can help it, anyway, why try?"

"Let him go," Merlin panted, "Let him go, _please_."

"No, I don't think so," Morgause said simply.

"Where's your sidekick?" Merlin heard Arthur ask from next to him.

"Arthur, don't-" He heard a kick and a thump and an 'Oof' from Arthur, presumably having landed next to him. Merlin tried to put his hand out to feel where he was, but with his hands bound he didn't get very far. He heard Arthur spit next to him and then ask,

"Where's Morgana, Morgause? You leave her at home?" He heard an impatient hiss from Morgause who then told them,

"She is not one of us. You changed her, you broke her. She has been disposed of." She sounded almost sad and Merlin almost felt bad for her. Almost. He could easily escape his bonds, but he didn't want to. Not quite yet.

"How about Mordred?" Merlin cut in.

"The same. I don't know what you did, but -"

"We loved them," Merlin interrupted, "That's what we did. We forgave them and we allowed them to find someone who loved them. Morgana turned against us when she thought no one liked her and the majority of us were against her, and Mordred did so when he thought Arthur didn't care about him, or that anyone did. We showed them they were wrong and forgave them."

"Well that's very touching, but I'm here to kill you," she sounded bored, but a little regretful at the same time.

"So why haven't you?" Merlin shot back at her. That earned him a stab with her heel that dug into his skin and he clenched his teeth so he wouldn't cry out.

"Don't touch him," Arthur snapped at her. Merlin heard her laugh scornfully.

"If you're going to kill us, you might as well get it over with already," Merlin said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Merlin!" Arthur protested.

"Ah yes," he heard her whisper, "But I want to kill you slowly and intimately in revenge for killing my sister. And Mordred. I will avenge them both." The minute Merlin felt her breath on his face because she was so close, he did something desperate and grabbed on to her hair with his teeth. She shrieked and tried to pull it out of his grip, but before she could, he whispered,

"**Bombarnia enanlo flamicie**" and she screamed even louder. He released her hair and heard it popping. He had set it on fire, and while she was distracted, he whispered, "**Bondin glisseo magickan**" and his bonds slipped off easily. He untied the rest of them with nimble fingers and helped Arthur up. When she finally had her hair out, Merlin opened his mouth and a black-speckled gas came out of his mouth. He coughed hard afterwards and heard Morgause screaming curses at them. He smirked sideways at Arthur.

"Time to go." He grabbed his hand and led him deeper into the forest before they sat down, panting.

"The dragon," Arthur reminded him. Merlin coughed harder and nodded.

"I know. I think we're okay for a minute, though." He coughed again, his eyes watering and muttered, "Pepper spray breath spell...totally nasty….only in emergencies…." Arthur clapped him on the back and Merlin waved him away. "Not helping…" Arthur retracted his hand nervously and nodded, swallowing hard.

Merlin glanced at him nervously when Arthur perked up, sniffing for something.

"You look like Bear, what is it?"

"I smell something."

"Obviously."

"No seriously, Merlin, look." He pointed at their small view of the sky that had turned grey. His fearful gaze turned to him. "Fire."

"Fire."

"Dragon?"

"Most likely." Merlin stood up quickly and helped Arthur up.

"Should we run now?"

"Probably a good idea," Merlin muttered. The fire burned towards them faster than they anticipated, and Merlin widened his eyes and yelled, "Yeah I think running is a good idea now!" He let Arthur go ahead of him and then ran after him, dodging the fire coming faster towards them. After running for a good five minutes, Arthur stopped far ahead of him, putting his arms out wildly as if trying to balance. Merlin didn't see this until it was too late and ran right into the back of him, toppling them both over the edge.

Apparently, the forest ended there and a cliff led down to a river, but the fog rose so high that no one could see the bottom. There they saw the dragon below them, jaws widespread, ready to swallow them whole.

((()))

Merlin's heart jolted when he woke up and he found himself facedown on the floor. He groaned and sat up, looking around.

"Arthur?" he asked wearily. He stood up and glanced around, not seeing his friend. "Arthur!"

"Here," he heard a muffled groan from the bed. He furrowed his brow in confusion and looked at the bed. He approached it slowly and saw Arthur had also fallen off the bed, but into the space between the bed and the wall, and was in a funky position squished in that space. Relief spread over his face and he helped his friend out of the tight spot.

Arthur dusted himself off. "Was that real?" he asked, wide-eyed and looking even more scared now. Merlin didn't blame him.

"I'm not sure, I-" he broke off with a hiss as he put his hand down on the bed. He pulled his hand back up quickly and saw burn marks. He paled slightly and turned his hand to show Arthur.

"I'm pretty sure I didn't get that from something that wasn't real. "

Arthur smirked and asked cheekily, "Are you sure that wasn't from me? I'm pretty hot mys-"

_"Arthur_!" Merlin cut him off, his voice filled with annoyance, but he couldn't help but smile in spite of himself.

"Come on, let's go to Gaius. He'll be happy to have something to do," Arthur suggested. Merlin nodded, cradling his hand in the other and blowing lightly on it. They found Gaius sitting in his room, pouring over his books.

"Gaius?" Merlin asked in a small voice. Gaius looked up and greeted them.

"Oh, Merlin, Sire." Arthur looked embarrassed by Gaius calling him Sire. He had told him to call him by his name on multiple occasions, but sometimes he slipped back into the habit.

"Merlin's burned his hand," Arthur said, thrusting the other boy's hand forward. Gaius frowned.

"How did that happen? That looks serious."

"He….burned himself on a stove. The idiot was turning it on and then leaned back on it with his hand and burned it badly," Arthur lied. Gaius raised an eyebrow at both of them.

"Merlin?" he turned to his previous apprentice.

"Gaius, you know I'm clumsy."

"Not for a burn like that. You should have burned parts of the palm of your hand, not your fingers and your entire hand." Merlin glanced at his hand. It was burned over most of his hand, back included, stopping around the wrist line. "You would have had to dip your hand in acid or had your hand completely in fire to burn it like that."

"He's _really_ clumsy," Arthur tried.

"_Boys_," Gaius said firmly, "What. Happened." He crossed his arms over his chest and looked at them stubbornly. Merlin looked down at his feet, shuffling them uncomfortably.

"Uh, we had a nightmare," Arthur started slowly, "At the same….time…"

"Go on," Gaius said warily.

"Morgana's dragon was there and she was blowing fire at us," Arthur continued, "Merlin burned his hand when we were running away. That's it."

Gaius turned on Merlin. "Merlin? What happened after that?"

Like a child caught in wrongdoing, he said quietly, "We ran into Morgause. We got away and then Aithusa set the forest on fire and we jumped and then we woke up."

"Jumped?"

"Off a cliff. By accident."

"Mm."

"So can you treat my hand?"

"I know _you_ can treat your own hand."

Merlin huffed at him. "I don't want to."

"You're too weak, aren't you? You're exhausted," Gaius said with concern.

"No!" Merlin protested. Gaius sat back in his chair.

"Then do it."

"Gaius, you can do it better."

"Merlin, you have magic and I am very crude with magic." Merlin huffed again before giving in.

"Fine. I'm tired. So what? Can't you just fix it?"

"Merlin, if you're too weak to even heal your hand, what makes you think you can fight those spirits today?"

"Who said anything about today?"

"It was implied, I know you wouldn't wait any longer than that." Arthur was watching the conversation like a tennis match, his head going back and forth from Gaius to Merlin.

"Gaius…"

"Give me your hand."

"What are you doing?"

"Healing it, Merlin, what did you think?" Merlin handed him his hand. Gaius took it and squeezed the middle of his palm with his thumb.

"Ow! Gaius!" Merlin yelped. Arthur took a step forward, but didn't say anything.

"I was seeing how bad the burn was, its hard to tell," Gaius murmured. He nodded once and grabbed a few herbs and a bottle of Aloe from his cupboard. He applied the Aloe, which Merlin complained to profusely because it burned, and rubbed juice from the herbs on as well. Merlin was gritting his teeth the entire time and his hand was on Arthur's shoulder for support.

"Dragon fire is nasty, Merlin," Gaius said simply, "Worse than regular fire. It'll hurt more." Merlin had hissed in dissatisfaction at that, but he thanked Gaius and the pair left. Merlin led Arthur outside. It was still early, close to dawn. There was no way they could go back to sleep, so they might as well make the most of it.

"Come here," Merlin whispered, "This is so pretty when the sun comes up." Arthur rolled his eyes playfully at Merlin and muttered,

"I don't care about pretty things, Merlin, I'm a knight."

"Mhm…" Merlin murmured before leading him to the top of a hill. There was a tree on the top of it, and, Merlin was surprised to see, the knights and Gwen were sitting there, facing away from them. Gwen was leaning her head on Elion's shoulder, and Leon was next to Elion. Percival and Gwaine were next to them, and Arthur and Merlin noticed with amusement that Gwaine was slightly leaning on Percival and their hands were clasped lightly and casually, but in the space between them so the others couldn't see. Bear was seated next to Gwaine, his tail wagging, but looking impatient.

Arthur and Merlin awkwardly stood there for a minute before sitting next to Gwen. She gave a small 'Oh!' when se saw them. Everyone looked over and said quiet greetings. She whispered to them,

"We're waiting for the sun to come up. Merlin, have you seen it? It's beautiful." Merlin nodded and pointed at Arthur, saying,

"I have, but he hasn't. When did you guys wake up?" They continued the conversation for another minute before Bear barked. They faced forward and saw the sun peeking up over the trees. They ooed and ahhed as the sun came up over the trees. It peeked through every space it could find, making different patterns in its steady ascent to the sky.

They sat there for hours, after Gaius joined them as well, and they enjoyed each other's company. They were making the best of the time they had left. Around noon, Merlin swallowed nervously and told them,

"It's time. Noon is the opposite of midnight, and therefore the weakest hour for the spirits. Its now or never, I think. If we wait any longer, we'll all lose everything." He glanced at Arthur instinctively. Everyone stared at him for a minute before letting out what seemed to be a collective sigh. Gwaine whispered to Merlin as he passed,

"I'm doing this for you, mate, but that doesn't mean I have to like it." He paused for a minute before asking, "Uh, what happens to Bear when I'm gone." Merlin looked at him seriously.

"If that dog wants to follow you, I won't stop him. You can see him in the spirit world if he really means that much to you. But if he doesn't, I promise to take care of him." Gwaine put a hand on his shoulder.

"You can't break that promise." Merlin frowned at him.

"I wouldn't break it, Gwaine, when have I ever broken a promise to you?" Gwaine nodded grimly, accepting Merlin's words.

They wandered like zombies on to the streets and towards the lake. The whole town seemed to notice, since usually they were all so good-natured. When no one else in the town was around, Merlin herded them across the lake, struggling with his magic to help them get across. Percival and Bear fell once and nearly went under, but Merlin managed to pull them back. Arthur could sense the magic was taking its toll on him. He wouldn't be able to do it effectively much longer. Soon enough his aging spell would probably go away too. It wasn't that Arthur liked him any less as an older man, but it was a weird idea. He knew he was being a tad bit selfish, but it was a bit uncomfortable on his part. And his opinion in this relationship counted too, right?

Merlin heard the spirits hissing restlessly, but he could also sense their disadvantage. He was right in predicting this was their weakest hour in the daytime. As predicted, Morgause appeared, but seemed weaker than normal. That was good.

"Why have you come with all your friend, Emrys?" she asked, "You cannot save him by sacrificing all of them. There is no way you can save your precious Arthur." Merlin's gaze hardened.

"Nimeuh paid the price for telling us the truth. You would not have killed her had it been false information."

"Or maybe we did not kill her to deceive you into the delusion that Arthur could in fact be saved." Merlin narrowed his eyes at her.

"You're lying."

She laughed, "How do you know?"

"You've got to be bluffing, Morgause, this is your final stand, your last attempt to stop us."

She stopped laughing and narrowed her eyes at him. He scowled at her. She had one last defense and he knew what was coming. And it may yet prove the loyalties of his friends.

"You would sacrifice your friends for one man?" Merlin held his head high.

"They offered themselves. They are doing this willingly."

"And yet you are never honest with them. Never completely honest, Emrys." For a minute, everyone looked a little wary. Merlin swallowed.

"I have not lied to them."

"You deceived them for almost ten years that you were a harmless serving boy, and yet you are the most powerful sorcerer ever was and the last Dragon Lord at that. You lied to them so many times to achieve your own ends," she hissed. Merlin's composition faded slightly. He looked a little scared now.

"I have not."

"And yet they question you!" she said, gesturing to the others. Merlin glanced over. They eyed him with slight doubt.

"Merlin," asked a scared voice, "What does she mean 'to achieve your own ends'? What didn't you tell us?" It was Gwen, and Merlin's heart sank slightly. He knew that she trusted him, but she was smart and would probably figure out something was fishy. She wasn't doubting to much as curious.

"No," he said firmly, "Any time I ever lied, it was for the good of everyone. I lied about magic because it was for the good of Camelot and for Arthur!"

"Arthur again?" she purred smoothly, "Is there any time that you've done something for someone else besides dear Arthur?" Arthur looked severely uncomfortable, and whether that was directed towards Morgause or himself, Merlin wasn't sure.

"I've done plenty for the rest of them too," Merlin growled, "They all know that."

"Pray tell."

Merlin looked at his friends. "You're joking right, Morgause? They all know it!" When silence fell, Merlin scowled at her again and listed,

"Gaius, when you sacrificed your own life for my mother's, I tried to sacrifice my own for yours, but then I ended up saving both of us. Gwen, I've proved your innocence more than once when it was in doubt. Gwaine, I saved your life in a bar fight, twice, I believe. I-" he faltered when he reached the rest of the knights. He couldn't think of a time when he had specifically saved them individually or as a group. Usually saving Arthur included them. Morgause smirked.

"Gaius, you needed him to stay in Camelot. Gwen, you needed her to be on your side, plus you knew Arthur loved her, aaand, Gwaine, you got him to help you complete a quest with_ Arthur_." She shrugged. "Looks like I win."

Merlin turned to his friends again, his voice cracking in anguish and doubt. "They're still on my side," he tried. She shook her head.

"But now I've sown seeds of doubt, and once planted there, they can never be uprooted." At her arrogant expression, Merlin lost it.

"I am not the bad guy here, Morgause! Everything I did, I did for the good of Camelot, the good of my friends, and the good of yes, Arthur! Our destinies have been intertwined since_ birth_, or haven't you heard? I _had_ to do those things for him and in turn it benefitted all of you! If you all think for one _second_ that I never cared about any of you, you're wrong." His voice had turned into a roar and he was scaring himself. "If you believe her, then...fine." His voice dropped to be quieter. "I would gladly let you walk away from this choice. But if you know me, and you know who I am, you know that all she says are lies. Anything I did for _you_ I did for _you_." He tried to face his friends now, scared of what he might see in their eyes. Fear, doubt, shame, embarrassment.

He found none of that. Instead he saw determination, courage, faith, hope there. They believed him! In fact, Gwaine went so far as to run at Morgause with his sword and attempt to slash through her watery image. She threw him back and in a last desperate attempt to keep them away, she cried,

"Morgana, Mordred, Freya, and Lancelot are destroyed! Their spirits are no more! Is that worth it, to lose your entire existence for two men?" Everyone looked at Morgause with hatred and when they glanced at Merlin, he nodded. He put a hand up and said simply,

"Go." She screamed and her watery figure disappeared. His legs slightly wobbled from using the magic again, but he was okay at the moment. Gwen turned to Merlin.

"So what now?" Merlin sighed.

"Now we open the portal to the spirit world. Normally I would have to have an amplifier to make it easier to open, but I think I can open it long enough for you all to hop in. It won't hurt. This should keep you safe from the spirits, or at least give you a chance. You can't dawdle though. I'm guessing I can hold it open for about five minutes max." They all nodded at him. Gaius looked incredibly worried.

"Now?" he asked them.

"Now."

**"Ansi haketanimem, ansi haketanimem, HOLORUS TANKIME BONMARDEN HOLSIEM**!" he yelled. A thin strand of light appeared in the air before them before widening and making a crack about eight feet high and three feet wide. It was small, but functional. "Go!" he yelled. His arms were already shaking with effort. Gaius was the first to step through, looking back once.

"Farewell, Merlin," he said sadly. Merlin nodded at him, feeling his throat clog up. Gaius disappeared. Elion and Leon went next, thanking Merlin before going in one after the other. Right before Gwaine and Percival entered the crack, Gwaine grabbed the front of Percival's shirt and kissed him hard and fast, and then let him go quickly. Gwaine saluted Arthur, hugged Merlin, and then grabbed Percival's hand and they went through the crack. Bear barked after them, sounding very melancholy. He knew they were gone, somewhere he was unable or unwilling to follow. Gwen was last, hugging Merlin tightly and whispering 'thank you' in his ear, before she turned to Arthur and pecked his lips while on tiptoe. Arthur was crying, and he put a hand on her cheek before she stepped backwards into the crack.

Merlin closed it the minute she disappeared. He and Arthur were both crying, and Merlin's body was shaking from the effort it had taken him to do that. Bear howled mournfully to the bright sky. The beautiful day seemed to mock them. Merlin stumbled and fell backwards, Arthur catching him under the armpits.

"Thanks," he mumbled. He kept holding Merlin and sat down with him, and Merlin leaned into him. Or rather, fell into him. His limbs didn't want to respond. This ended up forcing Arthur to cradle him a bit.

"Are you okay?" Arthur asked quietly.

Merlin sighed. "Not really."

Arthur bit his lip. "Me neither."

"Well I think we have a good reason to be not okay, don't you?" Merlin snapped.

"Yeah…" Arthur trailed off.

"Hey," Merlin joked, "This is kind of like when you died except now everyone's dead and you're holding me instead."

"_Mer_lin," Arthur protested, but a small smirk was growing on his face.

"You know it's a little bit funny."

"Only you could make something tragic into something funny, you idiot."

"How does that make me an idiot?"

"It doesn't, but you are one, so its relevant."

Merlin rolled his eyes and then felt a pang in his chest. He let out a hiss of surprise and pain and his hand flew to his chest. Arthur's eyes widened.

"Are you okay?"

"I think so...I just, aghh," Merlin complained. His whole body suddenly felt very tight, as if all the muscles had seized up. He doubled over in pain, rolling partly off of Arthur's lap. What was going on? His breathing quickened as he curled into a fetal position and was visibly shaking. Arthur put a hand on his shoulder, trying to get him to open up again. His eyes were clearly troubled with worry.

"Merlin?"


	13. Chapter 13

**So, this is the last chapter! I hope you like it, although it may not be quite as good seeing as AP tests have kind of fried my brain. If you would like an epilogue, let me know in the reviews. The epilogue would basically consist of anything you'd like: an extension of the story, maybe some more Gwaine/Percival, how the rest of Arthur and Merlin's friends are doing in the Spirit World, whatever. Just let me know in the reviews. If I don't get any requests, I won't write one, and I'm marking this story as complete. :) I hope you enjoyed this!**

Merlin closed his eyes tightly. _No...not now...please, not now…._ He knew what was happening and he had come to terms with it a long time ago. He had welcomed it, in fact.

He was dying.

He couldn't let Arthur know. But he would know, in a minute.

"Merlin?" Arthur's nervous voice came again. He shook him. "Merlin!" Merlin groaned and swatted him away weakly. "Merlin, what's wrong? Come on, did you eat something bad for breakfast? _Mer_lin!" He could hear Arthur trying to make light of it, but not only was he failing, the worry in his voice was evident.

Merlin slowly unwound as the pain ebbed slightly and was lying on the shore, his head facing the water. He turned his head slowly to see Arthur's face above his. He blinked, the world going in slow motion and said,

'I'm fine." Arthur frowned at him and pulled him up, looking him up and down.

"No, you're not, you're practically green, we need to get you back to your house, now."

"I agree," Merlin said, before his legs gave way again. He slumped to the floor. He weakly put out a hand to try and cast the spell to send Arthur back across. He was so weak he couldn't make a spark appear. He released his arm and it fell limply by his side. "Can't." Arthur's eyes widened.

"Merlin, you need help. You really don't look good."

"Yeah, I know, I'm sorry my visage offends you."

"No, really, you look sick and you were just convulsing on the ground a minute ago." Merlin glanced up at him.

"I can't. Unless you can swim a quarter of a mile, I can't help you get across," he told him simply, a pouty expression on his face, still sitting on the ground.

"Is there anything you can do? You need to get help, you're exhausted." The aging spell flickered for a minute and Merlin sighed.

"I can try to see if Freya is in the lake. Maybe she can help you get across," Merlin said sleepily. His eyelids were drooping and he started to slump back and Arthur caught him, pushing him back up.

"No, no, no, you're not giving up on me yet. You do not go to sleep, Merlin, do you understand?" the former knight asked. Merlin nodded and put his finger lazily in the water, whispering a spell to summon Freya. She appeared after a tense five minutes of silence, and her image was still flickering.

"Merlin!" she gasped, "Sorry, I'm still getting used to this again. What's the matter with you? You look awful!" Merlin didn't reply, his eyes closing again. Arthur pulled up next to him, and gave him a good smack in the back of the head. It temporarily revived him and Arthur explained for Merlin,

"He just sent everyone back, he had to open a portal or something, and now there's something wrong with him. What do I do?" Freya looked surprised.

"He opened a...portal….? Arthur, what kind of portal?" she asked seriously.

"To send them to the Land of the Dead or the spirit world, or something along those lines."

While he was waiting for a definite response, Arthur smacked Merlin again to keep him awake and he heard a feeble, "Sto-op" from his friend, and took that as a good sign. Freya finally answered, biting her lip hesitantly,

"I think he's dying, Arthur." Arthur looked at her in disbelief.

"What? No, he's not. He's just sick. He's been alive for fifteen hundred years, he's not dying now. That's stupid," he blundered.

"He's been keeping up that aging spell for a year and a half now, not to mention he's done amazing feats of magic in that short period of time on top of that. Plus, he is very old. His body's been worn down, he's burned out. That last spell is what's killing him, it was a huge expense of -"

"He's not dying, Freya, I need another explanation and a way to fix him." He shoved Merlin again to keep him awake.

"Arthur, he can't be fixed! I told you! He's dying and there's nothing you can do!" Freya snapped. Arthur glanced at Merlin and saw a tear running down his face.

"You're not dying, you idiot," Arthur told him, turning his face towards his, "You're not."

"Arthur...," Merlin protested feebly.

"Freya, get us across," Arthur demanded. She crossed her arms.

"I can't."

"Oh you both have horrible attitudes. Yes you can."

"No, Arthur, I can't. First, I don't actually have the power, and second, he needs to die here. This was always where he was meant to die and if he doesn't, it will change his destiny. Let's not have any more unplanned problems, shall we?"

"Saving him is not an 'unplanned problem'," Arthur snapped.

"Yes and neither was resurrecting your friends, but it causes other problems that we can't have."

"We'll deal with it, we always do. That's what we do."

"Concerning Merlin, Arthur, I really don't know what the repercussions would be, it could be much worse than what you've just had to deal with. And either way he'd have to die."

"God…" Arthur muttered, his voice barely more than a whisper. He bowed his head to absorb this for a minute before raising his head and asking, "Is there _anything_ I can do?"

Freya sadly shook her head 'No'. Arthur sighed and nodded at her, and she disappeared.

"Freya-" Merlin asked weakly.

"She's gone, Merlin," Arthur told him quietly. He slid his arms under Merlin's armpits, locked his arms around his chest, and pulled him into his arms. Merlin could barely stay awake, and he let Arthur drag him. Arthur cradled his head.

"You're not really dying, are you?" he asked stubbornly.

"Course not," Merlin joked, his voice rasping and weak.

"Okay," Arthur said. He held his friend tightly as if afraid if he let go he would lose him.

"Arthur-"

"Shh," Arthur said, "Save your energy."

"No, really-"

"Merlin, shut-"

"_Arthur,_" Merlin said with renewed strength, "This is important." Arthur was silenced and Merlin continued, "When I'm gone, and you need to talk to me, just come here and ask for Freya."

Arthur frowned at him. "I can do that without magic?"

"Not exactly." Arthur frowned more.

"Merlin, I know you do magic and Freya can do it, but I'm not about to go do that. I can't just_ do_ magic."

Merlin coughed and a few drops of blood landed on his hand.

"Merlin….?"

"Hang on, shut up, just listen," Merlin said quickly, "I've changed my mind. This will be easier. You can't forget this. It's hard to learn, especially if you don't know how to do magic, but I think you'll get the hang of it." He coughed again.

"Merlin, how do I do it?" Arthur demanded. He wasn't so keen to learn magic so much as how to see Merlin if he really was dying.

"Arthur, I'm sorry," Merlin said quickly, his breathing getting short and shallow. He clung to Arthur's arm and Arthur pulled him upwards into something more like sitting and more towards him.

"No, no, there's nothing to be sorry for," he said softly, changing gears directly, "You're staying here with me, you're fine. We're going to be fine. We'll get out of this stupid town and go to….we'll go somewhere else. Just you and me." He was shaking him softly to keep him awake. Merlin leaned into him, nuzzling his chest and with every breath he was breathing in Arthur's scent. It was familiar and reminded him of home and made him feel worlds better. But it didn't take away from the fact that he was still dying. He coughed again, getting more blood on Arthur's t-shirt.

"Sorry," he apologized again quietly, "And I'm sorry I have to leave you."

"You're not leaving," Arthur said firmly, tears sneaking past his eyes and starting to fall down his face, "Tell me how to fix you."

"You can't _fix_ me, Arthur, I'm not broken," Merlin replied wisely, "Someone was told me we're two sides of the same coin. As long as I'm with you, I'm complete."

"Don't get all cheesy and sentimental on me, _Mer_lin," he snapped, "You're not saying goodbye. And if that's true, where does that put me? Without you, what am I?"

Merlin made an effort to roll his eyes. "An arrogant asshat with no one to remind you where you stand," he snorted. Arthur gave him a weak smile.

"So stay."

"I can't control that," he whispered, coughing into his shirt again, "Sorry…"

"It's a red t-shirt, it'll blend, its fine," Arthur waved his apology off. Merlin closed his eyes and Arthur took a sharp intake of breath.

"Merlin!" he shouted, shaking him back awake.

"Sto-op," came Merlin's feeble protest, "You're going to shake my brains out if you keep doing that."

"You can't leave me," Arthur whined, pressing his forehead to Merlin's.

"Arthur," he said seriously, "I survived without you for a long time, and that was with unrequited feelings and the burden of a destiny I had to carry alone."

"Don't remind me," Arthur scowled, "That stupid, stupid destiny…"

"Yes, but without it, we never would have been here, would we?" Merlin reminded him. Arthur seemed to shrug and with his last bit of strength, Merlin closed the space between them and kissed him. Arthur kissed him back, holding his head up. He tasted blood on his lips and thought Merlin's lip was bleeding and then remembered that he had been coughing up blood. He chose to ignore this and let this be his good bye. He felt Merlin pull away and when he opened his eyes, he saw Merlin go limp, his eyes closing and his head falling back against his knee.

"Merlin," Arthur started weakly, "Merlin! No, how do I find you again? Merlin!"

With a shuddering breath, Merlin's eyelids flickered open and he rasped, "My name….my name….Emrys…."

"And what else?" Arthur asked desperately. Merlin shook his head and coughed more violently before it abruptly stopped. His eyes closed for the last time and he let out a heavy sigh. Arthur hugged his body to him, feeling no heartbeat from Merlin when he did.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I'm so sorry, Merlin…" Merlin did not reply. He was gone. Arthur swallowed the lump in his throat, but tears still rose to his eyes as he whispered,

"I love you." He had never said it. Not to Merlin. He always felt it, even when he didn't even love him romantically. He always had a special place in Arthur's heart. It was one of the phrases amongst others that Arthur wished he had said to him.

Arthur rocked back and forth, cradling Merlin's broken body to his own. The aging spell had worn off, so Merlin was old again, but Arthur didn't care. He hated himself for making Merlin keep that spell on forever. He knew that's what killed him. But he had been selfish and ignored it because he was vain and wanted Merlin the way he knew him, not the way he was in this century.

When the initial numbness faded away, Arthur stood up slowly, still holding Merlin's body and set his jaw. He would live with this. He had to. He was here alone now, like Merlin. He could do it for the rest of his natural life, and he would have to. No easy way out. He went to the shore and set his broken body down by the edge, so Merlin was halfway in the water. He wasn't sure if Freya could hear him, but he addressed her anyway:

"Freya, take good care of him. I can't give him a proper send-off….there's nothing here. Please do it for me. He deserves it." He could have sworn he heard the lake sigh and he sat down, pulling his knees into his body as he watched the water slowly swallow up his friend. Once it was deep enough, Merlin was completely covered by the water. He assumed Freya would take it from there.

Tentatively, Arthur waded out into the water, feeling the familiar sensation of walking on water. He reached the far shore and found his feet taking him back to Merlin's cottage. He sat dejectedly on the couch, staring at his feet for a while. Merlin was gone. There was no one around to comfort him, even. After a while, he heard a far off bark. He didn't pay it any attention, but it became louder and closer very quickly until it was just outside his door. An animal was scratching against the door, making it thump from the effort of keeping it out. Arthur frowned and approached the door slowly. He picked up a walking stick near the door, presumably Gaius's, and flung it open, throwing the stick at the animal.

The Wolfhound caught it in his mouth and tackled Arthur, pinning him to the floor before dropping the stick and licking his face.

"Bear," Arthur protested, "No, Bear, geroff me. Up, boy, get up. Off!" Bear didn't listen to him and, instead, Arthur was forced to wrestle the dog off of him. Bear was wagging his tail and barked again when he saw Arthur looking down at him now with curiosity. He began to wonder how Bear had gotten off the island, but then shrugged and figured Freya must have done it. He felt slightly guilty for forgetting him, but then, he had been worrying about other things.

He slowly started to come back to life, spilling some food for Bear and making himself a bowl of cereal. He changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and sat on the couch again, still doing things a bit mechanically. He rested his feet on the coffee table and sighed. What was he supposed to do now? Live? How? He knew how to do basic things in the century at this point, but how was he supposed to integrate back into society? Get a girlfriend? Not likely.

However, Arthur did manage to integrate himself back into society after a couple months. He started talking to someone besides Bear in town and began to make some friends. It was still hard, seeing as he still compared all of them to his old friends. He had a lot of friends like Gwaine, a few like Elion and Leon, but none like Merlin. He had girl friends like Gwen and Morgana, but he never dated any of them, turning them down if they ever asked. His memory of the past was still strong and it took ages for him to start putting it behind him. It made it harder that he couldn't tell anyone about it. Who would believe him?

It would be accurate to say that Arthur Pendragon did, in fact, live happily ever after, and it was all thanks to Merlin.


	14. Epilogue

**So just an epilogue for those who requested one. I didn't get much of the others as much as Arthur's reaction afterwards and whatnot in here. Just a cutesy little epilogue for a happy freaking ending. Because that's all anyone wants right? I don't own Merlin. Don't forget to review! :D Enjoy! **

"Out, Rye! I told you, this is too much! Get out!" Arthur fumed after walking in to see the cottage wrecked...again. His friend Rye had lost his house and Arthur was giving him a helping hand, but too often he broke the rules to a ridiculous extent, leaving Arthur to clean up after him.

"Arthur, I told you, it wasn't me, it was the-"

"The dog? You're blaming Bear _again?_ How stupid do you think I am?" Rye flinched, glancing at the giant wolfhound and then back at Arthur and shrugged. "I'm serious this time, Rye. Get out."

"I have nowhere to go, what am I supposed to-?"

"I don't know, figure it out! I can't handle it!"

"You wouldn't just kick out a friend in need would you?" Arthur folded his arms over his chest and then pointed to the door.

"I can sic Bear on you if you want. The door is that way," he replied calmly. Rye immediately went on the defensive.

"I thought you were better than this, Arthur. I can't be a clean freak for your pleasure." Arthur took a deep breath before glaring at his taller, ginger friend.

"You need to leave," he said as calmly as he could manage, "You've left my house a wreck every day since you got here. I don't know what on earth you could be doing, and I don't want to know, and I wouldn't care, except for that I have to clean up after you. I'm not putting up with it anymore. It's actually ridiculous." Rye pouted at him, holding his gaze for a second more before snapping,

"Fine. I'll stay at Ginny's place. I don't need you."

"Never said you did."

"Fine."

Arthur shrugged. "Fine." His relationship with Rye had always been rocky. This wasn't much of a change.

"You suck."

"Okay." He'd been insulted too many times before to let it bother him. Rye left quickly, gathering up what few objects he owned and slammed the door on the way out for dramatic emphasis. Arthur sighed with relief the moment he was gone. He collapsed on the couch and Bear followed, nuzzling Arthur's hand. Arthur lazily weaved his hand through the wiry fur, a heavy weight still weighing down on his chest. Things hadn't been great lately.

The century was changing too quickly for him. It had been nearly five years since Merlin had died and he hadn't called on him once. He wanted to prove that he didn't need him to be okay. He just wasn't sure who he was proving that to.

Arthur had a problem keeping up with the times. He was alright financially, having found an odd job helping out at a restaurant in town. The cottage was already paid for many times over, so that wasn't a problem. This century was just too loud for him, and it changed too quickly. Back in Camelot, change meant some kingdom's alliance had changed or been terminated or someone had just been knighted. It didn't mean people's opinions changed every other week about practically everything. Even this rural town wasn't peaceful enough for him.

Not to mention some of his new best friends were upset with him because he turned one of them down for the fifth time for a date.

"You're perfect for her, Arthur," they said, "Why don't you go out with her? You're being a real jerk, you know." He didn't see how politely turning down a date was a bad thing, even if he'd had to turn her down several times over. The girl was really very nice, reminding him a lot of Mithian. Mithian would be long dead by now, though, of course. He was interested, but he was trying very hard to keep himself true to who he really was best for.

Merlin.

It always led back to Merlin. When he wasn't sure about something, he would sometimes hear Merlin in his ear telling him it wasn't a good idea. This was starting to frustrate him. He wanted to be his own person again. He had gotten on just fine without Merlin before.

Except not really.

Merlin had shaped him to be a better person. The combinations of their personalities shaped both of them for the better, to be honest. They needed each other. And that was why, in all his frustration with his new life, Arthur suddenly put his head in his hands and whispered,

"Emrys?" Nothing happened. Merlin probably hadn't told him the actual spell, that idiot. There had to be a magic phrase or something, right? Arthur tried once more, and this time he channeled his frustration and anger and regret and focused it on that one person. _"Emrys!"_ The word sounded strange in his mouth. He knew Merlin was also known as Emrys to the druids and other magical folk, but to him he was Merlin. Merlin was Merlin.

"Jeez, you dolt, you don't have to shout," came an amused voice to Arthur's left. Bear barked loudly in Arthur's ear and Arthur's head shot up and glanced to the voice. He grinned widely from ear to ear and stood up. He wanted nothing more than to feel him there and so Arthur started towards Merlin, but tripped over Bear and face planted. If Merlin was solid, Arthur probably would have banged into his knees, but apparently he wasn't, so he went right through and on to the floor, getting rug burn on his face. He heard a snicker from above him and scowled playfully. He got up, dusted himself off and folded his arms across his t-shirt.

"What the hell was that?"

"I'm not solid yet, it takes a minute." Arthur waited until Merlin's image seemed to become clearer and then asked,

"Are you solid now?"

"Think so."

"Good." Merlin outstretched his arms, obviously anticipating a hug, when Arthur socked him in the shoulder. Merlin clutched his shoulder and whined,

"Oww, what was that for?"

"Everything."

"Figures." Merlin grinned at him. "So you figured out how to bring me back. Took you long enough."

"Don't make me punch you again," Arthur growled, but he couldn't keep the smile from his face.

"Oh please, I can control my solidity."

"What?"

"Try punching me again and see what happens, basically."

"You can't talk to the king like that, Merlin."

Merlin chuckled, "Yeah, but I can certainly talk to an ass like that." Their playful banter made Arthur happier than anything in the world at that moment. Arthur's laugh slowly faded away as he sat down on the couch and glanced up at Merlin with sudden anxiety. Merlin frowned and sat next to him.

"What?"

"How long are you staying?"

"As long as you need me."

Arthur took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I do need you. Always." Merlin's eyes twinkled as if he knew something Arthur didn't.

"That's where you're wrong."

Arthur frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You don't always need me, you just think you do." Merlin added for his own amusement, "But trust me, I'm flattered." Arthur shoved him lightly in the shoulder.

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Is that even possible at this point?"

"Not really, no."

"So why are you here?" Arthur asked seriously, and a little hurt.

"Because you need me now."

"Says who?"

"Says you. _You_ called _me._"

"Oh. Right."

Merlin smiled at him warmly. "So what is it?"

"I hate this century," Arthur scowled, wringing his hands. Merlin put his cool hands lightly on Arthur's to stop him from fidgeting.

"I'm sorry," he said, looking genuinely apologetic, "There's nothing I can do to change it. This is your destiny."

"My destiny is to live alone in a house that's too big for me and have jerk friends who don't understand me like you do? They don't know who I am."

Merlin sighed softly before asking, "Why don't you tell them then?"

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Because….I can't? What, tell them my best friend is the most powerful sorcerer of all time and my other best friends are knights of Camelot? Not to mention I'm the king of Camelot and my wife is the queen."

"You're using present tense, Arthur."

"So?"

"_Arthur._" Merlin took his hands off of Arthur's. Arthur immediately started fidgeting again, cracking his knuckles and other little mannerisms that Merlin noticed he did when he was nervous. "So what's wrong with your friends then?"

"We sound like gossiping girls," Arthur protested. Merlin looked at him expectantly until he said, "Fine. They're just not...you guys. They don't understand me and they don't know that I'm not as familiar with this century. I mean...they expect me to have a girlfriend and I'm really not interested."

There it was again. That annoying knowing look Merlin had. "Is this about me? Because if it is, I don't care if you have a girlfriend, especially if you are interested. You're your own person, Arthur. You make your own choices. It's_ your_ life. Don't do something or not do something to make me happy."

"Well I'm just not interested and they think it's rude that I've turned her down so many times."

Merlin shrugged. "In this area I'm about as clueless as you are. If they're getting offended, I can't help you. You're going to have to figure it out. Are you really not interested or are you pretending you're not interested for my sake?"

Arthur glared at him. "Not."

"O-okay Arthur." Merlin smirked sideways at him. "So what do you need me here for? I'm guessing not for girl trouble."

"I'm not having 'girl-trouble'," Arthur mumbled. He turned to him suddenly. "I love you."

Merlin smiled playfully. "I know."

"What?"

"You think I didn't hear you, but I did," Merlin nodded, "The last thing I heard before I died. And on the list of last things to hear before you die, I think 'I love you' is a pretty good one. Especially from the person you love the most." Arthur blushed, but he kept his face deadpan.

"Thanks, I think," Arthur replied. He bit his lip and looked down.

"In case you were wondering," Merlin said loudly, "I love you too."

"Thanks, Merlin," Arthur said, obviously distracted. Merlin gave him a slight nudge.

"What is it now?"

"Nothing. I just...I want my old life back. I've missed it ever since I came out of Avalon. It's hard to forget where you grew up."

"You'll be living in this century longer than in Camelot, or at least as long."

"That's not helping. I don't _want_ to be here longer than I was in Camelot. I want to be back in_ Camelot._ I hate it here," Arthur complained petulantly, "No one gets me here. I wish I was dead so I could be with you and Gwaine and Guinevere and-" Arthur felt a lump in his throat gather, "Camelot is back in the lake isn't it? If I died at the lake and it took me back, I'd be in Camelot wouldn't I?" Merlin's expression turned dead serious.

"Arthur, you can't mess around with destiny. It wants you here now. You'll go back in the lake when you're ready, but trying to speed that process along won't help you." The expression on Arthur's face was one of a caged animal. Merlin looked back at him sadly. He knew he didn't belong here. He belonged in Camelot, in Avalon's Camelot, with everybody else. But for reasons Merlin couldn't explain, fate wished Arthur to be there.

"But I could just be there now. Why do I have to wait?" Arthur said numbly.

"No," Merlin said firmly, "You can't just kill yourself. That won't accomplish anything. That won't make you happy. There are more important things in life than being happy."

"You don't think I know that?" Arthur asked quietly.

"I'm not here to argue with you. You have to trust me. All I can say is that you can make the best of this situation. You are Arthur Pendragon, King of freaking Camelot. You have always fought through things that majorly suck and this is one of those times. I believe in you."

"Nice to know I have your support, Merlin," Arthur grumbled. Merlin stood up suddenly. Arthur glanced up at him and grabbed his wrist.

"What are you doing?" he asked Merlin.

"I think it's about time for me to go," Merlin said thoughtfully.

"What, why? Stay here," Arthur complained.

"No, I have a sense in my gut, that I have to go," Merlin asserted. Arthur stood up and wrapped his arms around his friend, holding him tightly.

"Please don't. Listen to your heart, not your gut."

"They're both saying the same thing," Merlin chided, returning Arthur's hug, nuzzling his head into his shoulder lightly. When Arthur pulled back, he looked torn.

"You know," he chuckled, "My new friends did teach me something good. They said….actually the girl that I'm not interested in said something I thought was rather good. She said, 'If you love something, let it go. If it was ever yours, it will come back to you'." Arthur suddenly looked guilty. Merlin patted him on the shoulder and whispered,

"I'll come back when you need me again. Don't worry." Arthur's response was choked by the lump in his throat. He didn't want him to leave. Before he could go, Arthur grabbed the neckerchief around his neck and pulled Merlin to him quickly, smashing their faces together. Arthur kissed him softly but hungrily, and felt a tear go down his face. Merlin went along with it gladly, but pulled away too soon and rubbed Arthur's cheek with his thumb, wiping away the one tear.

"I'm sorry," Merlin apologized softly. Arthur gave him a watery smile.

"It's okay. You can go. Thank you, Merlin."

Merlin gave him a familiar friendly smirk. "I'll always be there for you, Arthur." With that, he faded away, and Arthur smiled. He felt a strange sense of freedom. He didn't need Merlin with him all the time. Not anymore. He would always be a part of him, always, but he could live without him. He was his own person, Merlin was right.

So then it was with a new feeling of joy that he heard a voice at the door, knocking softly on it.

"Arthur? Are you alright?" It was Ginny. Properly, Genevieve.

"Come in," he said. A girl with inquisitive blue eyes and straight raven black hair poked her head in the door.

"Oh, hi. Rye was just at my place. He said something about you flipping out on him." She sounded worried. "Are you alright?"

He glanced at her and smiled. "Yeah, I'm fine." He glanced at her again. She was petit in build, but she was almost his height, and her eyes were always bright and expressive of her emotions. "You're not taking him in are you?"

"Heavens, no," she said, grinning at his casual mood. Then she cleared her throat and asked, "You're not still upset about uh...the others giving you a hard time are you? I'm really alright. Is everything okay between us and everything…?" He nodded genuinely and patted the seat next to him on the couch for her to come sit. She raised an eyebrow at him and sat down. Her blue t-shirt caught her at all the right places, Arthur couldn't help but notice. Then he frowned, pointing at her scarf.

"Where did that come from?" She glanced down and touched it with a hand. It was a bright red scarf.

"Oh, I think one of the guys gave it to me. I found it on my doorstep. You know Brendon's always getting me stupid stuff like that, but this is a good one. I like it." Arthur nodded.

"Yeah….Brendon…" He could have sworn he heard a soft chuckle from behind him. He smirked to himself. While he was deep in thought, he felt her punch him in the shoulder.

"Ow!" he complained playfully, "What was that?" He clutched his shoulder like it actually hurt, but her hand was so small and her punch so weak, he doubted it would have dented fresh Play-doh.

"You're always doing that, just staring off into space," she said, still smiling playfully, "You remind me of my grandpa, he was always doing that, like remembering some old memory from the war or something."

"I remind you of your grandpa?" he asked, his lips twitching upwards into a smile. He reached forward and tickled her under her ribs. The effect was immediate as he knew it would be. She giggled and started trying to pry his hands off so the tickling would stop. "Maybe I'm just a very deep person!" he joked. Ginny laughed harder at that and said between gasps for air,

"No-o, you're just a bully, Arthur!" He laughed and tickled her more and her wavy hair hit him in the face when she doubled over from laughing.

"A bully? Me? Well, that just proves you're an idiot!"

"Jerk!"

"Dunghead!"

"Clotpole!" Arthur froze, and she noticed, leaning back up to see his face. Her happy expression immediately went blank. "What?" she asked.

"What did you just call me?"

"….I dunno...clotpole? Why? Is that bad?" her eyes were wide again. She seemed afraid to offend him.

"N-no, it's fine, it's just a new one." He broke into a grin again, "You look scared, what's the problem? I won't bite!" She gave a tentative grin before smiling at him again.

"I just don't want to scare you away."

"What makes you think you would?" She looked a little thrown off before answering as if it was obvious,

"I've asked you out about six times and you've said 'no' every time, so am I doing something wrong?" Arthur immediately felt guilty.

"No. You're not," he said seriously, "It's actually me who-" Suddenly a light returned to her eyes that Arthur had been waiting to make a come back. She had been tiptoeing around him and now her old spirit was back.

"Don't you do that and go with the old 'it's not you it's me' thing. Girls know that trick and I hate it when guys use it. Please don't do that to me," she interrupted. He smiled at her and shifted so he was facing her.

"Okay, but seriously though. It has been me in the wrong. I've been interested and I turned you down because I was scared to say 'yes'." Her eyes went round with confusion. "And I'd like to make this the seventh and last time we confront this." Ginny was probably his best friend in this new world, and he knew this was good for him. And Merlin would approve. Or rather, he already had. He knew full well the scarf wasn't from Brendon. It was only too easy to guess who it was from.

"Ginny, would you perhaps be interested in going out with me?" He wasn't quite sure what the phrase 'going out' fully meant, but he knew it was meant for this purpose. She gave a small gasp before swallowing her gasp and nodding in his direction.

"Yes. That would be awesome. I mean...yes. Yes." He smirked playfully at her and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before kissing her cheek lightly.

"Good," he said quietly. This wasn't an impulsive decision. He hadn't lied. Arthur had felt drawn to her the minute he met her five years ago. She was probably one of the first people he met after Merlin died. This was what he wanted and it was what she wanted and it made them both very happy. Ginny was different from Merlin, despite their similarities. He didn't want to date her because she was like Merlin. He wanted to date her because she was the kind of person he needed in this life at this moment in time. And he would never regret this decision.

Arthur's expression turned serious as he drew away and said to her, "There really is something you should know about me though. I know it will be hard to believe, but I think if anyone will believe me, you will."

It was about as easy as Arthur expected it to be to convince Ginny of his story. As in not very easy. She took it better than he expected, and she didn't call him crazy. But her response was also not exactly believing his story.

"I think if you believe you were the King of Camelot and you're best friend was a sorcerer than that's what you truly believe," she said slowly.

"No, but seriously, it happened," he said to her. She nodded.

"Okay, Arthur."

He had a feeling she didn't believe him until months later when he took her to the lake of Avalon.

"Arthur, you can't walk on water!" she protested. He cast her a hurt look.

"I know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me."

She snorted and mumbled something incoherent. He grabbed her wrists lightly and glanced around to make sure no one was around.

"Come with me," he said quietly, "I'll prove it once and for all."

"No, I don't want to get wet!" she complained, "Arthur, not in this outfit, I'm not!" He gave her a mischievous smile and she immediately went on the defensive.

"I know that look. Arthur, that look means trouble and I don't want- ARGHHH!" Arthur hoisted her up into a cradle and she fought him at first.

"Come on, Ginny!" he shouted. He hugged her tight to him and started to sprint into the water, feeling the familiar sensation of walking on water or air and she fell silent very quickly when she saw the shore disappearing.

"How are you-?" she started to ask. She looked down at his feet, then back at the far shore, then back at his feet. "There's got to be a sandbar or something…"

They reached the island in a few minutes, and Arthur set her down, panting hard.

"So this is Avalon?" she asked. He nodded. She folded her arms across her chest. "How?"

"Magic, I told you. Don't you believe in magic?" She looked almost disappointed.

"I wish I did." She walked over to the shore and started feeling around for sandbars. She walked on the sand she felt there, but Arthur put his hand out to stop her, since the real shore was only a foot long, and then it dropped off.

"No, Ginny, don't-" He heard a small gasp when she found the end of the land and fell through the water. "Ginny!" he shouted. He ran to where she disappeared and started feeling around for her, but found nothing. After a few minutes, he heard wet footsteps behind him. He whirled around, hands outstretched and saw a sopping wet Ginny standing there. She looked like a deer in the headlights.

"Arthur…?" she asked, reaching out one hand. He nodded and ran to her, hugging her tightly.

"What happened?" he asked her. She started wringing out her long, thick hair and said slowly,

"Well...I fell in, right? I got to the bottom and there was a city." Arthur's heart skipped a beat. He drew back and stared at her.

"Describe it. What city?"

"Well...there was the smell of everything beautiful. Flowers and food and people all at once. It was like what you'd find at a medieval fair, you know?" He nodded to make her keep talking, "The best thing was, when I turned around, there was a huge castle, with beautiful stained glass and...it was white. It was very pretty. There were so many people there. One guy in a red cape nodded at me. There were a lot of guys with red capes, actually," she said, frowning, "They looked like knights. They had chainmail on and everything." Arthur smiled widely.

"That's it! That's Camelot! That's my home!" he exclaimed, "Who else did you see? Tell me, I need to know!" She frowned.

"The knight that nodded to me had longish brown hair and beard, but he was very good-looking. Almost as good as you," she teased. He smirked at her and kissed her forehead.

"That was probably G waine. Who else?"

"I don't know," she said, "But there was one who brought me back up to the surface...he wasn't a knight. He had high cheekbones and dark hair like mine, except not as long." She paused to laugh, "We had similar looking scarves even. You know, like the one I found the day you asked me out?" He nodded. "He said you were who you said you were. And also he says 'hi'."

"Anything else?"

"Uh...nope. No wait, the last guy with the red scarf made his eyes turn golden and said to open my hand when I got back here." She glanced down at her hand, that was clutched in a fist and frowned. "That's funny, right?"

"Open it," Arthur said quietly. She slowly opened her hand and a bright blue butterfly fluttered out of her hand. They watched it disappear and then she turned back to Arthur and whispered,

"Who was that?" Arthur smiled and put a hand on her cheek.

"That would be Merlin."


End file.
